Dealing with an elderly parent's bank and account
Posted: February 8th, 2018, 10:18 pm
This is my first post. Apologies for the long-windedness, but I have asked for help elsewhere and am not getting consistent advice.
The situation in brief: my mother is living alone in another part of the country. She has dementia. Due to my own circumstances, I can only visit her every 8-10 weeks (high cost of train fares, hotels and meals out - it is not possible to lodge with her).Carers from the council have started to come in three times a day to deal with her food and medication. There is a safe where I left some cash when I visit, and they draw on this for bread, milk etc. It was agreed that her visa card would also be left there for the carers to use as required.
The problem is that mother has a contactless credit card but doesn't know the PIN, so it has never been activated. When the carers tried to use it, it of course didn't work. They are asking me to deal with the bank (that is sort out a contactless they can use) on her behalf. The problem is that banks are quite properly safeguarding their elderly customers, and so I think they won't deal with this request, or with me, and her dementia means that Power of Attorney is not possible. (My understanding is that the solicitor drawing up the PoA will have to satisfy himself that the person needing it is capable of understanding what is going on. Mother does not and has a memory span of 10 minutes).
What should I do to activate her current (but useless) card or get a replacement? It would also help if her bills could be paid by direct debit, but again, how can I get her bank to do this? Will the bank send documents/forms for signature to my address or must they go to the customer?
Mother throws things away that she doesn't understand. As an example, I arranged for a replacement bus pass for her but there is no sign of either a bus pass or an application form in her house, and she doesn't remember me even taking her to the council offices where this was discussed. I fear that anything sent to her address by the bank will disappear in the same way.
The situation in brief: my mother is living alone in another part of the country. She has dementia. Due to my own circumstances, I can only visit her every 8-10 weeks (high cost of train fares, hotels and meals out - it is not possible to lodge with her).Carers from the council have started to come in three times a day to deal with her food and medication. There is a safe where I left some cash when I visit, and they draw on this for bread, milk etc. It was agreed that her visa card would also be left there for the carers to use as required.
The problem is that mother has a contactless credit card but doesn't know the PIN, so it has never been activated. When the carers tried to use it, it of course didn't work. They are asking me to deal with the bank (that is sort out a contactless they can use) on her behalf. The problem is that banks are quite properly safeguarding their elderly customers, and so I think they won't deal with this request, or with me, and her dementia means that Power of Attorney is not possible. (My understanding is that the solicitor drawing up the PoA will have to satisfy himself that the person needing it is capable of understanding what is going on. Mother does not and has a memory span of 10 minutes).
What should I do to activate her current (but useless) card or get a replacement? It would also help if her bills could be paid by direct debit, but again, how can I get her bank to do this? Will the bank send documents/forms for signature to my address or must they go to the customer?
Mother throws things away that she doesn't understand. As an example, I arranged for a replacement bus pass for her but there is no sign of either a bus pass or an application form in her house, and she doesn't remember me even taking her to the council offices where this was discussed. I fear that anything sent to her address by the bank will disappear in the same way.