The Lemon Fool

UncleEbenezer wrote:

Tedx wrote:
Yeah, spot on. We have a whole deck of 'it's my right or I'll feel opressed' cards to play with these days.

Which is great if you want to get into wimmin's changing rooms or be the number one 'female' golfer in a fortnight.

Also has serious uses.

In the early days of Covid we heard:
(a) Older people are at much more risk than younger.
(b) Men are at much more risk than women.

So I decided to identify as a young woman[1]. It worked: when I got covid it was no worse than a regular cold.

[1] Without, I should add, troubling the biological women in their private/reserved spaces.

I'm thinking I might start identifying as a successful investor. Who knows it just might work

Dicky99 wrote:

UncleEbenezer wrote:
Also has serious uses.

In the early days of Covid we heard:
(a) Older people are at much more risk than younger.
(b) Men are at much more risk than women.

So I decided to identify as a young woman[1]. It worked: when I got covid it was no worse than a regular cold.

[1] Without, I should add, troubling the biological women in their private/reserved spaces.

I'm thinking I might start identifying as a successful investor. Who knows it just might work

Now you're taking the p1ss

Lootman wrote:Nothing destroys wealth like divorce.

100%!! Staying married outweighs all other investment strategies!

Adamski wrote:

Lootman wrote:Nothing destroys wealth like divorce.

100%!! Staying married outweighs all other investment strategies!

And no kids.

bluedonkey wrote:

Adamski wrote:
100%!! Staying married outweighs all other investment strategies!

And no kids.

Yes, kids destroy your cash faster than a lump of blue ice falling from a jet liner.

A friend on mine sent both his to university. The numbers are truly eye watering and he's still not done with them, despite them finishing their studies. He hands out money like a Vegas card dealer most days.

And now he frets about leaving what's left of his estate to them when he eventually pops off. Haven't you done enough for them?

Personally, I hope I spend my last pound the day I die. I'm even planning on equity releasing the hell out of my house when the time comes. If there's anything left then local charities will get it. Maybe they'll put in a park bench with my name on it for the winos to sit on.

Tedx wrote:
Personally, I hope I spend my last pound the day I die.

I'm even planning on equity releasing the hell out of my house when the time comes. If there's anything left then local charities will get it.

Maybe they'll put in a park bench with my name on it for the winos to sit on.

https://i.imgur.com/DQLd0Ln.png

:O)

Cheers,

Itsallaguess

Yep, that'll be me.

There's a park bench in town called the 'friendly bench' or something like that. I didn't realise until after I'd been sitting there for some time it was for lonely folk to sit on who wanted other folk to sit and talk to them.

I'd have an unfriendly bench. A Father Jack type bench. One for swigging strong lager, having a pool of suspicious looking yellowey liquid on the floor under you, telling people to f-off for looking at you, booting small dogs if they come near you. Vigorously rubbing your crotch and grunting as wimmin walk by....etc.....etc.

It'll be great.

bluedonkey wrote:And no kids.

Tedx wrote:
Personally, I hope I spend my last pound the day I die. I'm even planning on equity releasing the hell out of my house when the time comes. If there's anything left then local charities will get it. Maybe they'll put in a park bench with my name on it for the winos to sit on.

My Dad's sense of humour was difficult to understand. He always said he wanted to go out with his Barclaycard maxed out.

AiY(D)

AsleepInYorkshire wrote:My Dad's sense of humour was difficult to understand. He always said he wanted to go out with his Barclaycard maxed out.

AiY(D)

Some of Pratchett's witches and wizards had that down to a fine art. Knowing your date of death in advance means you get to plan for it.

AsleepInYorkshire wrote:Hi Salvor,

Hope you're well and perhaps still have your helmet.

My good lady and our daughter love stories. Books, cinema, theatre, and TV. I have no idea if you watch TV or if you have a super-sized deluxe TV already. We have a 65" (curved) TV in our lounge. And before I go further, I need to diversify. If we had the money I think we'd get an 80". Watching some films like Star Wars or The Mandalorian on a large TV is just crazy. I love a good documentary, especially nature and that kind of stuff. Some of the images on our TV are breath taking.

So based solely on my experience of a large TV, which I would never have purchased just for my needs, and having no idea if you already have one, I need to give you some advice, if I may please.

Get one and if you already have one, get a bigger one

Got a 43 inch Toshiba Smart Fire TV off Amazon for £256. More than enough for me as I sit relatively close to it. I watch quite a bit of TV on my Samsung Galaxy A10 tablet. And in the event that I'm in the pub or otherwise out of the house whilst the cricket or football is on, the smartphone comes in very handy for a bit of viewing.

Back to a few tips on retirement spending and budgeting for everyone; I been doing this for just over 20 years.

Try different supermarkets, in particular Aldi and Lidl if you haven't before. Retirement means that people should have enough time that you don't have to do everything in the one shop. You might find something new to try that you really like. Many years ago I used to go boardgaming at friend of a friend's place ( I didn't know the hosts very well). They provided a few snacks and it was decided that next week it was our turn to bring the snacks. I did so and got everything from Lidl. There was a puzzled look from our hosts, yet when they started eating they quickly decided that they would give Lidl a try. Particularly for the pistachio nuts which were twice as much for half the price.

Do your big holiday trips in the first few years after retiring, rather than later as your health might deteriorate. There is a tendency (at least with me) that as I grow older there become more excuses / reasons to stay at home. Holidaying doesn't have to cost a fortune; there are many interesting places for a decent day's visit and you can be back in your own bed the same evening. A couple who a friend knows take full advantage of their bus pass to visit lots of towns and locations in the county; they never stay away overnight.

Keep track of your spending. I still have my ancient Excel spreadsheet with multiple categories such as "pub", "horse racing meetings", "supermarket", "day trips" and "streaming services". It's surprising how often you find some spending that you could cut back upon if needed.

There are a lot of businesses and organisations that are happy to hire the more mature citizens for a bit of work now and again. I know a lot of people who are retired and work at local and not so local sporting events on matchdays. Particularly at racecourses and County Cricket. You can't live off it but it's a nice bit of beer money and it gets you out of the house.

AsleepInYorkshire wrote:

bluedonkey wrote:And no kids.

Tedx wrote:
Personally, I hope I spend my last pound the day I die. I'm even planning on equity releasing the hell out of my house when the time comes. If there's anything left then local charities will get it. Maybe they'll put in a park bench with my name on it for the winos to sit on.

My Dad's sense of humour was difficult to understand. He always said he wanted to go out with his Barclaycard maxed out.

AiY(D)

An ex of mine invited me to quite a few rave ups back in the 80s, their brother paid for lots of parties maxing borrowings in the month or so before his inevitable bankruptcy. Quite the antithesis for this board mind

Itsallaguess wrote:https://i.imgur.com/DQLd0Ln.png

Itsallaguess

I take it he wasn't a Brighton and Hove Albion supporter.
Or maybe he was when they were almost relegated from the Football League!

--kiloran

kempiejon wrote:

AsleepInYorkshire wrote:My Dad's sense of humour was difficult to understand. He always said he wanted to go out with his Barclaycard maxed out.

AiY(D)

An ex of mine invited me to quite a few rave ups back in the 80s, their brother paid for lots of parties maxing borrowings in the month or so before his inevitable bankruptcy. Quite the antithesis for this board mind

Well yes. Kind of.

Alternatively, being told you have 12 months to live (say) is the ideal solution for managing your money in retirement (Unless the doc is wrong or they find a miracle cure just when your party cash runs out).

Maybe 'Logan's Run' had the right idea.

"Oh sorry, we got your notes mixed up with somebody else's. You're fine!"

Except the money's run out.

Tedx wrote:

bluedonkey wrote:And no kids.

Yes, kids destroy your cash faster than a lump of blue ice falling from a jet liner.

A friend on mine sent both his to university. The numbers are truly eye watering and he's still not done with them, despite them finishing their studies. He hands out money like a Vegas card dealer most days.

And now he frets about leaving what's left of his estate to them when he eventually pops off. Haven't you done enough for them?

Personally, I hope I spend my last pound the day I die. I'm even planning on equity releasing the hell out of my house when the time comes. If there's anything left then local charities will get it. Maybe they'll put in a park bench with my name on it for the winos to sit on.

We had a bench outside a local building with a nice view down church street to the market square but the council took it away.

AsleepInYorkshire wrote:Hi Salvor,

Hope you're well and perhaps still have your helmet.

My good lady and our daughter love stories. Books, cinema, theatre, and TV. I have no idea if you watch TV or if you have a super-sized deluxe TV already. We have a 65" (curved) TV in our lounge. And before I go further, I need to diversify. If we had the money I think we'd get an 80". Watching some films like Star Wars or The Mandalorian on a large TV is just crazy. I love a good documentary, especially nature and that kind of stuff. Some of the images on our TV are breath taking.

So based solely on my experience of a large TV, which I would never have purchased just for my needs, and having no idea if you already have one, I need to give you some advice, if I may please.

Get one and if you already have one, get a bigger one

SalvorHardin wrote:Got a 43 inch Toshiba Smart Fire TV off Amazon for £256. More than enough for me as I sit relatively close to it. I watch quite a bit of TV on my Samsung Galaxy A10 tablet. And in the event that I'm in the pub or otherwise out of the house whilst the cricket or football is on, the smartphone comes in very handy for a bit of viewing.

Back to a few tips on retirement spending and budgeting for everyone; I been doing this for just over 20 years.

Try different supermarkets, in particular Aldi and Lidl if you haven't before. Retirement means that people should have enough time that you don't have to do everything in the one shop. You might find something new to try that you really like. Many years ago I used to go boardgaming at friend of a friend's place ( I didn't know the hosts very well). They provided a few snacks and it was decided that next week it was our turn to bring the snacks. I did so and got everything from Lidl. There was a puzzled look from our hosts, yet when they started eating they quickly decided that they would give Lidl a try. Particularly for the pistachio nuts which were twice as much for half the price.

Do your big holiday trips in the first few years after retiring, rather than later as your health might deteriorate. There is a tendency (at least with me) that as I grow older there become more excuses / reasons to stay at home. Holidaying doesn't have to cost a fortune; there are many interesting places for a decent day's visit and you can be back in your own bed the same evening. A couple who a friend knows take full advantage of their bus pass to visit lots of towns and locations in the county; they never stay away overnight.

Keep track of your spending. I still have my ancient Excel spreadsheet with multiple categories such as "pub", "horse racing meetings", "supermarket", "day trips" and "streaming services". It's surprising how often you find some spending that you could cut back upon if needed.

There are a lot of businesses and organisations that are happy to hire the more mature citizens for a bit of work now and again. I know a lot of people who are retired and work at local and not so local sporting events on matchdays. Particularly at racecourses and County Cricket. You can't live off it but it's a nice bit of beer money and it gets you out of the house.

Hi Salvor,

Brace yourself ... this isn't going to be easy for me to say ... thank you . I don't say it often enough

Much of what you've said completely resonates with what I/we do now. As always though, and as PaulyPilot often stated, it's those little gems, those chocolates you've never seen before, which are worth everything. You're post offered more than one chocolate for me . Just when I needed a pair of step ladders to allow me to reach a little higher and, I'm sure you won't realise it, you "just" turned up with some.

We don't get long. We'd best make t' most of it

Cheers Salvor, thank you

Take care

AiY(D)

I think that mooching is very underrated. Plenty of time for it when retired.

bluedonkey wrote:I think that mooching is very underrated. Plenty of time for it when retired.

Ideally coupled with the mindless frittering away of time.

The aim should be to pass time pleasurably without feeling guilty about not doing very much.

Lootman wrote:

bluedonkey wrote:I think that mooching is very underrated. Plenty of time for it when retired.

Ideally coupled with the mindless frittering away of time.

The aim should be to pass time pleasurably without feeling guilty about not doing very much.

Since retiring a couple of years ago I find that 'guilt' is my biggest issue. After 20 minutes sitting and reading a book etc I finding that I start fidgeting and feel I should be up and about and actually doing things. Is there any known cure for this ?

Redmires wrote:Since retiring a couple of years ago I find that 'guilt' is my biggest issue. After 20 minutes sitting and reading a book etc I finding that I start fidgeting and feel I should be up and about and actually doing things. Is there any known cure for this ?

I do not have this affliction, my whole life I have been able to please myself without feeling I must be active. Reading a book, listening to the radio or staring uut the window with my thoughts is doing something. The SO voices other opinions about "my" time.