Will help

[JessUK98]

OK, so I've had to taken over completely as quite frankly my mother is a f&%@ liability.
Death has been registered, Tell Us Once called who will inform HMRC, DWP (so state pension/army pension/NHS pension & attendance allowance) and council (remove from electoral register, cancel library and bus pass etc). I have dealt with the bank, and sum involved is below threshold to no grant of probabte required.
So waiting on final bills to creditors & funeral director (no idea what this will amount to as my mother had the funeral director around the day after the death to organise everything).
I've spoken to everyone who has a potential claim to the estate and everyone is happy with my taking over, how things are going and who is getting what.

Unless you include my mother. Day after the death she called the insurance company who will pay a lump sum towards the funeral costs. They basically said to phone back when the death has been registered and they will pay out. She provided her bank account details for this. When the death had been registered I called them back and they said they'd pay the money into the account that had already been provided by my mother. I didn't think at the time to change this to my account (I was still only "helping" at this point). Anyway, fast forward and I'm pretty certain, based on her behaviour, that the money has been paid into her account but she keeps deflecting and denying. She has said things like "I think I deserve some of my own mothers money" and "no one will know that I have had the money" (the latter meaning my Uncle and cousin - my sister and I know full well). My sister and I have both told her that we are happy to giver her some of our inheritance, but things need to be done properly and she needs to hand over the money. I don't think she is "getting" it, or understands the gravity of what she is doing - theft basically. I think she thinks because it's insurance money and not my grandmothers money that it doesn't "count". Any advice on what I can do if she still refuses to had over that lump sum?

[Chrysalis]

Would it be enough to just find out what the amount is, and deduct it from any money due to her?
You can’t hide it! You have to show to the beneficiaries that you’ve dealt with everything.

[Maylix]

Would it be enough to just find out what the amount is, and deduct it from any money due to her?
You can’t hide it! .

Unfortunately I don't think the mother is given any cash in the will, just possessions.
I would certainly find out the amount, and impress on her that you're NOT going to keep it secret, after all you are personally responsible for accounting for all monies. (BTW, If the amount is lower than what you and your sister would be willing to give her anyway, there's no actual need to get it off her, just to give it back to her.)
One thing that might be also worth trying is to not pay the funeral expenses and when you get those invoices show them to her and say you need the money she's got to pay them. Might not be strictly true, but the money was for funeral expenses, after all. And, by the way, unless she signed something to renounce her executor duties, she's still legally on the hook for the estate's monies.
Good luck and I hope that helps.
Maylix

[scrumpyjack]

If a charity is due the residue, they may insist on full estate accounts and be quite difficult in making sure they have had their full entitlement.

It is generally not good idea to leave the residue to charity for this reason! You could mention this to your mother as a reason to be open

[staffordian]

If a charity is due the residue, they may insist on full estate accounts and be quite difficult in making sure they have had their full entitlement.

It is generally not good idea to leave the residue to charity for this reason! You could mention this to your mother as a reason to be open

The OP says all the money is shared between the grandchildren and great grandchildren, so I doubt there is much for charities to get excited about. Making assumptions, I'm thinking it means any possessions not wanted are going to a charity shop, but I may be mistaken, of course.

[JessUK98]

If a charity is due the residue, they may insist on full estate accounts and be quite difficult in making sure they have had their full entitlement.

It is generally not good idea to leave the residue to charity for this reason! You could mention this to your mother as a reason to be open

The OP says all the money is shared between the grandchildren and great grandchildren, so I doubt there is much for charities to get excited about. Making assumptions, I'm thinking it means any possessions not wanted are going to a charity shop, but I may be mistaken, of course.

Yes that’s correct, any clothes etc is likely to go to charity, not much there really.
On a more positive note, my mother has agreed to hand over the insurance money. She’s a bit put out that her brother wants to see all financials at the end as well, but I personally think he is perfectly entitled to a copy of it. He’s only protecting his children and grandchildren’s interests after all. Quite frankly after this performance by my mother I don’t blame him!

[Chrysalis]

I think strictly speaking, any residual beneficiary (ie someone who receives a division of the estate once any specific legacies have been given) is entitled to see the accounts. But there's no reason not to be open if people want to see it.