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Getting Married

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Howyoudoin
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Getting Married

#145066

Postby Howyoudoin » June 11th, 2018, 11:20 pm

Any suggestions for someone who only has about £20k to spend? Preferably abroad but that isn't a deal breaker.

There will only be 20 attendees to the wedding.

Thanks,

HYD

Dod101
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Re: Getting Married

#145068

Postby Dod101 » June 11th, 2018, 11:28 pm

Only?

Dod

Howyoudoin
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Re: Getting Married

#145072

Postby Howyoudoin » June 11th, 2018, 11:36 pm

Dod101 wrote:Only?

Dod


Apparently 20k is the minimum you should have these days?

I also think that is rubbish Dod.


HYD

wheypat
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Re: Getting Married

#145094

Postby wheypat » June 12th, 2018, 8:12 am

Howyoudoin wrote:
Dod101 wrote:Only?

Dod


Apparently 20k is the minimum you should have these days?

I also think that is rubbish Dod.


HYD


My wedding was under 5K (this was in 1999). I doubt I could have spent 20K. Where would the money go?

swill453
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Re: Getting Married

#145098

Postby swill453 » June 12th, 2018, 8:26 am

My recent wedding was just under £300.

Scott.

bungeejumper
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Re: Getting Married

#145099

Postby bungeejumper » June 12th, 2018, 8:30 am

When you say "abroad", that could cover a multitude of possibilities for your £20K. A beach in Bali, the Bahamas, or a Russian commuter estate? ;)

I believe that £20K is actually on the low side of the average these days, but that tends to include the cost of a hen weekend for twelve in Ibiza, so we might not be comparing like with like. And London is much more expensive than the rest of the country. The Financial Times's Personal Finance Editor Claer Barrett was recently talking about how she managed it in central London (including St Brides church) for £10K, but she had to do a lot of the work herself. (And draw on some favours from a jazz combo in which she plays sax.) Good link at https://www.ft.com/content/59507dfc-583 ... 677d2e1ce8.

We did ours, marquee-on-the-lawn-and-Pimms style, in sunny Wiltshire for £8K, exactly ten years ago - but then, we do have a fair-sized garden and enough friends with vintage cars and suchlike to make it all a bit special. (And the sun shone gloriously all day, which helped. :D ) Catering for 70/100 guests (afternoon/evening do) was somewhere around £4K including the booze bill, plus the marquee. Marriage venue, an 18th century country house with classical terraces and fountains and suchlike, was about £350! - bargain! It would probably have been cheaper to do it all at a posh-ish country hotel, but that wasn't the idea. Honeymoon was walking in the Welsh hills, not in Barbados. ;)

But those were our priorities, and yours may well be different....

BJ

Gengulphus
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Re: Getting Married

#145100

Postby Gengulphus » June 12th, 2018, 8:43 am

wheypat wrote:My wedding was under 5K (this was in 1999). I doubt I could have spent 20K. Where would the money go?

There's any number of hotels, etc, who offer their facilities for special functions. And I'm sure that most of them would jump at the chance to make it a very special occasion if told that the budget was getting on for £1k per head!

That's assuming that the ceremony itself is a quiet civil one. Hold it in church, especially if you go for optional extras like a choir, and you'll have to trim the hotel/etc's expectations back considerably!

But I suppose the real point of this post is a question for HYD: what do you regard as the minimal requirements for the wedding? They're really crucial to answering your question, and people's requirements vary tremendously. For instance, one of my siblings once told me that an acquaintance of theirs invited a group of friends to stay with them for the weekend, and during the weekend, announced that they'd got married that morning and this was their wedding do - and that was the first that the friends had heard even of the fact that they were thinking of getting married!

Gengulphus

tjh290633
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Re: Getting Married

#145101

Postby tjh290633 » June 12th, 2018, 8:51 am

One option would be to do it on a cruise ship, but that implies that the guests pay for their own cruise, or are paid for. P&O, for example, have packages for weddings on board, performed by the Captain. It might be feasible on a 7-day cruise.

TJH

UncleIan
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Re: Getting Married

#145106

Postby UncleIan » June 12th, 2018, 9:02 am

For you HYD? Things have changed!

If the telly is to be believed, Escape to the Chateau has spawned a pile of people that think another dilapidated splendour French pile in the Loire could be a viable wedding business. So I'd guess there's more supply than demand, so I'd guess it wouldn't break the bank to have an all in wedding at one of them.

Or this only sleeps 16 but I'm sure you could find somewhere local for the other 4...
https://www.landmarktrust.org.uk/search ... ceno-12832
Though how you actually get married in Italy I've no idea. I'd guess it was complicated and involved a lot of paperwork.

Or Scotland, just the 16 people again though...
https://www.landmarktrust.org.uk/search ... house-7761

Ah, got it, hire the whole frikking island of Lundy...
https://www.landmarktrust.org.uk/Search ... ion/lundy/

Generally, to cut costs, you need to
a) know the right people
b) not have it at the weekend.

I've no idea what ours cost, the venue and catering were a hill of beans but
- an auntie is a seamstress so did the wedding dress and bridesmaids dress as a present
- dad's a printer, invites, table plans, place names etc
- mother in law and friend like flower arranging
- cars were friend of a friend rates, asked someone at a car show rather than googled "wedding car"

My niece saved a lot of money by coinciding it with her husbands 40th, ish, and saying it was a birthday party. Genuinely, saved over £1000 because the event didn't have "wedding" in it.

Oh, and it's not what you think is appropriate to spend on the wedding, it's your fiance's.

Meatyfool
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Re: Getting Married

#145145

Postby Meatyfool » June 12th, 2018, 11:51 am

Arrange a really swanky christening at a hotel - two weeks before say the baby is ill but don't worry we have another event lined up.

Trust me, it will save you four figures.

Meatyfool..

didds
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Re: Getting Married

#145158

Postby didds » June 12th, 2018, 12:22 pm

We had a naming day party for our son, though we were lucky enough to live on a farm so were able to throw up a marquee on the lawn etc, and people brought a plate on top of a large cold plate buffet we provided along with a barrel each of beer and cider.

Then when everyone had wetted the baby's head, I told them all this was a Didds BOGOF and me and Mrs Didds had got married a fortnight earlier in a registry office in secret (just a couple of friends as witnesses).

1995, cost us a grand all told (including a new dress for Mrs Didds). And the people that came were there because they were supporting us and son, not because it was a duty bound wedding. Those absent were noticeable... ;-) [ one relative even said that had they known it was a wedding do they'd have come... I don't think they realised what they were actually saying...]

I've told my kids they can have 2K towards any wedding, as a mark up on our costs...
(I am actually quite surprised that according to https://www.moneysorter.co.uk/calculato ... calculator, that 1K is actually only worth £1344 today!)

didds

Beerpig
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Re: Getting Married

#145183

Postby Beerpig » June 12th, 2018, 1:48 pm

It sounds like you are getting married HYD?
Fab new.
Delighted for you. Many, many congratulations.

Wedding and reception for 20 people?
Small ceremony and lunch afterwards.
Its like going on holiday only more important.
ie it doesn't matter where you go.
It's who you're with that counts.

AleisterCrowley
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Re: Getting Married

#145258

Postby AleisterCrowley » June 12th, 2018, 5:17 pm

Just my opinion, but the best (most enjoyable) weddings I've been to have been the informal ones. There seems to be a lot of pressure these days to have a big 'keep up with the Joneses' affair - there are even wedding/bride magazines ffs!
I think people have more fun when things are a bit more relaxed. Plus the happy couple get to save money and spend it on more important things.

Perhaps I'm just common ?!

kiloran
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Re: Getting Married

#145277

Postby kiloran » June 12th, 2018, 5:57 pm

AleisterCrowley wrote:Perhaps I'm just common ?!

And all the better for it ;)

--kiloran

DiamondEcho
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Re: Getting Married

#145292

Postby DiamondEcho » June 12th, 2018, 7:12 pm

Howyoudoin wrote:Any suggestions for someone who only has about £20k to spend? Preferably abroad but that isn't a deal breaker.
There will only be 20 attendees to the wedding. Thanks, HYD


It's about you two, and inviting your guests to be witnesses. It is not about you providing them all with an all-in holiday.

Leothebear
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Re: Getting Married

#145298

Postby Leothebear » June 12th, 2018, 7:42 pm

My first thought was the Caribbean. Then I remembered their state after the hurricanes.
Then I thought Thailand. Maybe too expensive to fly there.

I'd take a punt on Slovenia. Gorgeous country. I'm sure less than 20K would buy you a fantastic time for your 20 guests. Get the buggers to pay for their own flights though.
LTB

cavebat
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Re: Getting Married

#145332

Postby cavebat » June 12th, 2018, 11:42 pm

Howyoudoin wrote:Any suggestions for someone who only has about £20k to spend? Preferably abroad but that isn't a deal breaker.

There will only be 20 attendees to the wedding.



Cheap civil ceremony in the UK (registry office - pub meal after, or local place licensed for civil ceremonies), spend available budget on fantastic honeymoon, big party for wider family and friends when you get back if you want.

cavebat

DiamondEcho
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Re: Getting Married

#145454

Postby DiamondEcho » June 13th, 2018, 4:06 pm

DiamondEcho wrote:
Howyoudoin wrote:Any suggestions for someone who only has about £20k to spend? Preferably abroad but that isn't a deal breaker. There will only be 20 attendees to the wedding. Thanks, HYD

It's about you two, and inviting your guests to be witnesses. It is not about you providing them all with an all-in holiday.


To enlarge on this^
We got married in a pavilion on one of the back lawns of the Raffles Hotel in Singapore [the city where we lived at the time]. The local Singaporean style is to have mega-events inviting hundreds, hosted in the best hotel banqueting suite you can afford. Costs can be outrageously high.
We were [and are :)] 'older', my family/friends would be coming from the UK, and her local family/friends are not loaded. The latter figured as in Singapore guests are expected to give not a physical wedding present, but a cash-gift roughly = to the cost of their presence at the reception [typical no-bull Asian getting right to the root of the matter!]. We chose the venue as we knew some glamour would add to the event, but we could only afford a small slice of it.
We invited about 20-30 people all-in. About 6 from my side, closest family and best man and wife. Most of the latter balanced the expense of the trip by extending it into a regional holiday for themselves.
We declined a packaged wedding from the hotel, the sky was the limit how broad that could go. We had the basic venue hire + basic canapes afterwards. We hired our own licensed solemniser. Friends of friends of my wife formed the string quartet. My wife's bro-in-law runs a tailors shop so we got the dress and my suit via him [all made to measure, at cost price]. All-in the ceremony/canapes lasted perhaps 2hrs.
That was early afternoon. Then in the evening we had a wider reception in the ents/reception room in the building where we lived [hire cost about £25!]. This was to celebrate with all those who were at the earlier ceremony, plus a wider group of my wife's friends. Any of the latter who can cook were lined up to bring a a dish of food, each enough for say 8-10. We ordered appetisers for non spice-eating Brits from a local shop as a jumbo pre-booked 'take-away' order. We also catered in some of the local food, but not from a 'wedding company', just a party caterer. We reckon we had most tastes covered, and the food cost little.
Not only did we manage to get a memorable venue, but we managed to keep the costs right down by including guests in facilitating some of the basics. Those we asked were only too happy to help. In a way it way it made it feel like a genuine 'communal effort', which I think was in the spirit of things.

- IME many hotels will let you hire a space for a set period of time, whether room/beach/lawn. They will have varying allowances on the extent to which they'll let you DIY an event on it.
- Over the years I've twice been asked 'the night before' by random fellow hotel guests to be a witness at their wedding due in the following day or two. These were people doing it on a shoe-string but the expense isn't the point [IMO] the event was no less lovely and meaningful.

Itsallaguess
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Re: Getting Married

#145459

Postby Itsallaguess » June 13th, 2018, 4:37 pm

If HYD had said that he's got £20k and wants to spend it on a car, would there be many here who would try to convince him that he can get a good little run-about for about £1.5k?

We spent very little on our wedding, and we'd do the same again tomorrow (even now, with the benefit of hindsight, it was exsctly what we wanted, and that would be the same today too...), but I wouldn't presume to think that such a situation would be right for everybody, and if someone wants to spend £20k on a wedding, then why not?

I'm sure HYD knows that these things can be done on a shoestring budget, but that's not what he's asking.....

Cheers,

Itsallaguess

nimnarb
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Re: Getting Married

#145496

Postby nimnarb » June 13th, 2018, 7:36 pm

What's interesting about this thread is that OP said.."someone" getting married as opposed to "I am" getting married.............

So HYD..you made a dramatic entrance in stating that you were not dead and then even more dramatic in as much as that we are to presume you "might" be getting married..............Pray tell?

p.s. fwiw.....if you are to be betrothed..its your money, do with it what you want, but it's what the two of you want and not anyone else.........cheaper the wedding the better...more expensive and lavish the honeymoon the better. :D :D :D

pps.....and to cheer you up 20K for a divorce is a drop in the ocean. :lol:


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