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Things that you would do differently . . .

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Howyoudoin
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Things that you would do differently . . .

#235708

Postby Howyoudoin » July 10th, 2019, 9:35 pm

. . . if you could have your time again as an adult.

I’ll start.

Number 1 “Change jobs every 3 years unless there is an agreed career path”.

Next.

HYD

kiloran
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235711

Postby kiloran » July 10th, 2019, 9:50 pm

Good question and, you know, I can't think of anything I would have done differently, except, perhaps, made more of an effort to find a long-term partner earlier in my life. But then, if I did that, I would have missed the opportunity to meet and marry my wife, the best thing I ever did.

I do wish some things had turned out differently, but they are things that were beyond my control. Just a victim(?) of circumstances.

--kiloran

AleisterCrowley
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235715

Postby AleisterCrowley » July 10th, 2019, 10:18 pm

Buy a place in Ealing when I moved there in '95, rather than waiting to save more deposit 'to be on the safe side'
Travel more whilst still 100% healthy
Take that contract job in Copenhagen in the late 90s (engineer, not hitman)
Spend more time with my parents

UncleEbenezer
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235720

Postby UncleEbenezer » July 10th, 2019, 10:33 pm

An awful lot of what's wrong in my life stems from having taken a graduate job in central London, only to find I couldn't afford to live there. Did a lot to turn me from a confident and optimistic young man into a gibbering wreck.

So, a job elsewhere on graduating.

bungeejumper
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235770

Postby bungeejumper » July 11th, 2019, 8:41 am

Think a bit harder about that girl I was about to marry, at the tender, innocent age of 22. There ought to be a law against it. :|

BJ

Snorvey
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235772

Postby Snorvey » July 11th, 2019, 8:48 am

As I said to a teenage family member a couple of weeks ago.....Keep yourself fit and healthy and a lot of other issues seem to vanish.

bungeejumper
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235774

Postby bungeejumper » July 11th, 2019, 8:50 am

Seriously, though, the best lesson I learned in life came before adulthood had properly arrived. And it was self-taught...…. :shock:

I am, of course, talking about the belated realisation (aged 16) that it was absolutely fine to have a few enemies who really hated my guts. My parents had always brought me up to be everybody's friend, and a fat lot of good it did me during the hurly-burly of adolescence. Life changed big-time for the better once I'd got that little matter sorted out. :twisted:

BJ

UncleEbenezer
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235782

Postby UncleEbenezer » July 11th, 2019, 9:25 am

bungeejumper wrote:Think a bit harder about that girl I was about to marry, at the tender, innocent age of 22. There ought to be a law against it. :|

Girl I was with at around that age is still "the one that got away" - the only girl I still regret losing even today. Should be a law againstfor it.

Dod101
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235786

Postby Dod101 » July 11th, 2019, 9:38 am

About the only thing I would have done differently was not to sell properties that I have owned as investments over the years. I have always sold too early.

Dod

bungeejumper
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235792

Postby bungeejumper » July 11th, 2019, 9:50 am

UncleEbenezer wrote:Girl I was with at around that age is still "the one that got away" - the only girl I still regret losing even today. Should be a law againstfor it.

Commiserations, we had two different outcomes. But I think we can both agree that "thinking about it a bit more" would probably have sent us both on paths that wouldn't have subsequently brought us a lot of regret?

20/20 hindsight is one thing. But heck, old heads never did look right on young shoulders.....

For the record, I pitched out of my divorce into three years of solid (and long-overdue!) fun - after which I was, ahem, finally "ready" to settle down a bit and meet the real love of my life. Forty years now. :D

BJ

scotia
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235854

Postby scotia » July 11th, 2019, 11:42 am

Yes there are probably lots of other things that I could have done which would possibly have led to greater glory, but at 75 (fifty years married) I am pretty content with where I am, and I find it difficult to think about where I would rather be.

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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235873

Postby Gaggsy » July 11th, 2019, 12:36 pm

bungeejumper wrote:Think a bit harder about that girl I was about to marry, at the tender, innocent age of 22. There ought to be a law against it. :|
BJ

UncleEbenezer wrote:Girl I was with at around that age is still "the one that got away" - the only girl I still regret losing even today. Should be a law againstfor it.


Wow, I wonder if you've ever heard this song? It could have been written for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ladrCZK89s - King L - The Dumbest Story (1995)

Dumbest story ever told
Two people fall in love - seventeen years old
He goes off to do his thing
She pays him back by wearing a wedding ring

She loves him still, she loves him more
Dumbest dress she ever wore
She's always waking up on somebody else's floor

She buries hate, she buries fear
She thinks she can bury the love and make it disappear

The dumbest monkey in his tree
Doesn't m(f)uck with destiny
Oh destiny

Loneliest boy in the world
Fifty four years old - thinking about a girl
He lost at seventeen
And he goes to bed with what they might have been

The dumbest monkey in his tree
Doesn't muck with destiny
Oh destiny


(Written by Gary Clark)

UncleEbenezer
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235943

Postby UncleEbenezer » July 11th, 2019, 4:45 pm

Gaggsy wrote:
bungeejumper wrote:Think a bit harder about that girl I was about to marry, at the tender, innocent age of 22. There ought to be a law against it. :|
BJ

UncleEbenezer wrote:Girl I was with at around that age is still "the one that got away" - the only girl I still regret losing even today. Should be a law againstfor it.


Wow, I wonder if you've ever heard this song?

No, but I've heard the story many times. After all, it goes right back to the Odyssey! Perhaps a more direct and modern (not to mention troubling) rendition of that song would be Peer Gynt.

But it's not my story.

zico
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235951

Postby zico » July 11th, 2019, 5:07 pm

Here's my list.
1. Would have left the family home a few years before I actually did - both to take advantage of lower house prices, and to finish growing up properly.
2. Travelled abroad before taking my first job.
3. Worked abroad at some point.
4. Been more confident in my abilities and myself (and acted on this) before the age of 30.

Having said all that, if I'd done all the above things, my life would be different now, and I'm very happy with how it's all turned out for me.

SentimentRules
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#235959

Postby SentimentRules » July 11th, 2019, 5:25 pm

Howyoudoin wrote:. . . if you could have your time again as an adult.

I’ll start.

Number 1 “Change jobs every 3 years unless there is an agreed career path”.

Next.

HYD


I'd have taken a year off work and travelled to places that are not as easy now. Like 5000 steps up to see a Buddha temple etc.

AsleepInYorkshire
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#236002

Postby AsleepInYorkshire » July 11th, 2019, 8:03 pm

I would have self referred and paid privately to see someone who specialises in sleep disorders.

I did this in Feb 2016. By June of that year I was taken off all my medication and was being treated for the correct illness. It's been a slog since then but I now sleep as well as anyone. I don't tire during the day and the dreadful changes to my personality and anti-social behaviour have gone (albeit I acknowledge I am a grumpy old fart though :roll: )

I'd like to say I'm not bitter. I can't. I console myself that I am one of the lucky. And I remind myself that I have been given a chance many don't get.

Trust me - without consistent long term good health your life doesn't even get into first gear.

Over the last two years I have been able to take my good lady and my daughter out for "a" day. We've been all over and had some lovely times. We are fortunate enough to be able to afford a holiday to Tenerife in August.

I have many regrets. They all revolve around a lack of sleep and the consequences that brings.

I'm planning my retirement - our retirement. I'm not sure I will take up lawn green bowling or curling but I think I will enjoy my garden and perhaps build that model of HMS Hood when the nights are cold and dark. My Mum retired recently. She was 75. She volunteers for Dove House Hospice and also works in the Minster shop on a Saturday. She never remarried when my dad passed away. She was 49 when he died.

AiY

Dod101
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#236010

Postby Dod101 » July 11th, 2019, 8:33 pm

Actually, this thread might have been more productive if it had been on the subject of things we are grateful for in our lives; some have touched on that. I regret very little but am very grateful for a lot even if my life has not turned out the way I would have wanted it.

Dod

gryffron
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#236040

Postby gryffron » July 11th, 2019, 10:47 pm

18 months after my graduation, several contractors at the place I worked told me I should go contracting. I didn't. I continued to work for others for 18 years. Never made much money. Then went self employed, retired 7 years later. I got there in the end. But could have done it years earlier. You never get rich working for someone else.

Gryff

dionaeamuscipula
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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#236042

Postby dionaeamuscipula » July 11th, 2019, 10:59 pm

I would phone back Lesley Mc.

I would go to a university away from home

I would kiss that redhead in Epping Forest when it is clear to me now that we both wanted me to.

I would treat C differently.

But mostly I am happy with my choices, and if any of those things above had happened then I wouldn't be where I am now, sitting in an American airport with a beer and waiting to return to my wonderful wife, our fabulous home and our amazing children.

DM

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Re: Things that you would do differently . . .

#236102

Postby tjh290633 » July 12th, 2019, 9:45 am

I realise now that my choice of first job might have been better. I went for the one which attracted me most, but the one which I rejected would have made life easier for my mother, as I would have lived at home.

The choice fashioned my life and career, with which I have been very happy, but less good for my mother, who developed health problems. I have no idea what the alternative career path might have led to. Without doubt it would have been different, and I would never have met my wife, now in our 61st year of marriage.

TJH


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