The Planet's most useless piece of equipment

[Arborbridge]

Speed cameras.

I wish we had many more of them, and that they would hand out many more fines. Drivers around our way constantly ignore the speed limits by an unwise amount, driving recklessly. They should be punished but aren't, so they just carry on as though entitled to do so.

To be honest, I was just being a little flippant with that piece of equipment quoted above. We have mental drivers around my way doing 80 in the 40 zone on our rural road.

They are most useless when they fail to replace the missing police officers to be honest.

Sorry if my suggestion riled you! It wasn't meant to.

Matt

No - didn't rile me. I realise that drivers hate speed cameras, so I thought I'd try to put the opposite point of view. We have 20mph limits here, but there is near 100% disobedience to them but as you say the is no attempt to enforce them. Without a few fines being handed out, no one will bother to slow down below 30-35mph, tailgate and over take on our bend through their own stupid impatience.

I walk along these 20mph roads with cars charging around, and as a pedestrian, I see a different side to the story.

Arb.

[Arborbridge]

Speed cameras.

Just after I passed my test, I used to drive around with my eyes almost constantly looking at the road ahead instead of spending about 20% of the time glancing at the speedo.

Julian F. G. W.

I'm not sure what you mean. Are you claiming speed cameras are "dangerous" because they oblige you to look at your speedo? If so, that sounds like rationalising your own lack of ability to judge speed from the sound of your engine etc and blaming an inanimate object for your breaking the law.

In that regard, I find the cruise control helps me avoid speeding fines. Punch in the relevant speed and you know you will rarely get gatsoed*.

Arb.

*regarding gatsos, driving groups claim that they are just money making machines. If this is so, why do they put up warning cameras which do not issue a fine? or in our local area, why did they take one away when it broke down because is was costing too much (according to a local councillor)? Indeed, if they make money, why not install more?

[bungeejumper]

*regarding gatsos, driving groups claim that they are just money making machines. If this is so, why do they put up warning cameras which do not issue a fine? or in our local area, why did they take one away when it broke down because is was costing too much (according to a local councillor)? Indeed, if they make money, why not install more?

Swindon removed some (all?) of its speed cameras a few years ago, because the council said that all the fines that they brought in were going straight to central government coffers and none of the money was being returned to the council. So what message did that convey about the relative priorities of cash and road safety?

I am totally with you on how a driver who has any half-decent familiarity with his vehicle ought to know how fast he's going. Mind you, it wouldn't work so well if you regularly drove different cars. If you put me in a long tall SUV or a van where I was sitting four feet up from the road, I expect I'd go too fast because the road "appeared" to be moving at a different speed. Put me in a Beemer or a Jaguar, and I'd forget how to go round corners correctly.

As Clarkson once observed, the roads would be safer if we abolished seat belts and airbags and fixed a long metal spike to the centres of our steering wheels....

BJ

[TheMotorcycleBoy]

I walk along these 20mph roads with cars charging around, and as a pedestrian, I see a different side to the story.

One of the reasons I drive to my local running route (which is in woods and on little used droves) is that my roads are completely unsafe to run on. The pavement's not great either, not just it's irregularity, but that it's pretty terrifying to be on it at rush hour when all the overtaking is happening.

[TheMotorcycleBoy]

*regarding gatsos, driving groups claim that they are just money making machines. If this is so, why do they put up warning cameras which do not issue a fine? or in our local area, why did they take one away when it broke down because is was costing too much (according to a local councillor)? Indeed, if they make money, why not install more?

I suspect because it needs administrative staff to send the letters and organise the "choose between a fine or attend a speed awareness course" decision, which my colleague informs me is the usual outcome. FWIW despite my "driving by own rules" a lot of the time, I have never (so far, unless there's something in the post right now ) been caught by a Speed Camera.

The old Gatsos are really silly anyway. They only function in an enforceable sense in a single direction. They actually trigger (flash) in both directions (which is dangerous because in the dark the flash is very bright), but you will *never* issued an enforceable ticket if you drive at the camera lens at speed. I'm not telling you how I know this. Apparently cabbies and couriers use this fact, to determine "the trigger speed" of the devices. Not sure if that works, I'm not interested enough to fully test all aspects of their operation!

Furthermore the ticket is not enforceable if the white paint markings in it camera's zone aren't very clear. The SC itself may use Doppler to accurately detect your speed, but apparently they need "back up" by using the white markings as an additional reference. This is so if 2 different vehicles are photographed but only one is speeding the court can use the white markings to determine which driver triggered the camera.

So it's easy to see the administrative burden makes it hard to justify install SCs everything. And of course SCs in remote areas will be arson-attacked more frequently I guess.

Matt

[Arborbridge]

From the last few posts, it seems that speed cameras are not some sort of money making scam. i.e. we can ignore any bleating we get from the motoring organisations in that regard.
There is something particularly odd, however, when we have a device which could catch ne'er- do-wells on the roads but they aren't proliferating due to admin burdens or arguments about where the revenue should end up.

I've always thought it very strange that cameras are so obvious or that mapping services are actually allowed to give drivers warnings of where they are. How barmy is that? I'd rather see them well hidden so people are not aware of their presence. I guess the theory is that they would rather advertise them so drivers slow down because getting caught causes all the admin costs! But all that happens is that drivers slow down for hundred yards then accelerate again. Completely absurd.
We need a cheaper average speed device and an enthusiastic authority who enforces the fines. Teach the buggers a lesson they won't forget!*

Arb.
*PS yes, I've been caught once too - and it made me change my behaviour.

[TheMotorcycleBoy]

From the last few posts, it seems that speed cameras are not some sort of money making scam. i.e. we can ignore any bleating we get from the motoring organisations in that regard.
There is something particularly odd, however, when we have a device which could catch ne'er- do-wells on the roads but they aren't proliferating due to admin burdens or arguments about where the revenue should end up.

I've always thought it very strange that cameras are so obvious or that mapping services are actually allowed to give drivers warnings of where they are. How barmy is that? I'd rather see them well hidden so people are not aware of their presence. I guess the theory is that they would rather advertise them so drivers slow down because getting caught causes all the admin costs! But all that happens is that drivers slow down for hundred yards then accelerate again. Completely absurd.
We need a cheaper average speed device and an enthusiastic authority who enforces the fines. Teach the buggers a lesson they won't forget!*

Arb.
*PS yes, I've been caught once too - and it made me change my behaviour.

So in a sense that kinda reinforces my view that they are verging on useless.

Matt

[Arborbridge]

From the last few posts, it seems that speed cameras are not some sort of money making scam. i.e. we can ignore any bleating we get from the motoring organisations in that regard.
There is something particularly odd, however, when we have a device which could catch ne'er- do-wells on the roads but they aren't proliferating due to admin burdens or arguments about where the revenue should end up.

I've always thought it very strange that cameras are so obvious or that mapping services are actually allowed to give drivers warnings of where they are. How barmy is that? I'd rather see them well hidden so people are not aware of their presence. I guess the theory is that they would rather advertise them so drivers slow down because getting caught causes all the admin costs! But all that happens is that drivers slow down for hundred yards then accelerate again. Completely absurd.
We need a cheaper average speed device and an enthusiastic authority who enforces the fines. Teach the buggers a lesson they won't forget!*

Arb.
*PS yes, I've been caught once too - and it made me change my behaviour.

So in a sense that kinda reinforces my view that they are verging on useless.

Matt

Sort of, but it's not the cameras which are useless - it's the admin and procedures behind them which should be put in Room 101. The cameras ought to be a boon to public safety and the promotion of sensible driving habits.

Arb.

[Dod101]

On the A9, one of the main arterial highways of Scotland there are average speed cameras from Dunblane to Inverness and on many other Scottish roads as well. They definitely slow traffic but the trouble is they cause bunching just on the speed limit, whatever it is.

They are though reported to have reduced accidents on the A9, which is a dangerous road at the moment, pending the whole of it being duelled by about 2025 or something. They are definitely not one of the Planet's most useless pieces of equipment.

Dod

[EssDeeAitch]

"Passing Place" signs on what is obviously a place where the road is wide enough for ine car to pass another.
What else could a deliberate widening of a single track road be?

[bungeejumper]

"Passing Place" signs on what is obviously a place where the road is wide enough for ine car to pass another.
What else could a deliberate widening of a single track road be?

Around our part of the world, people seem to think they're parking places. Oh, what a difference two little letters can make. Morons.

BJ

[UncleEbenezer]

"Passing Place" signs on what is obviously a place where the road is wide enough for ine car to pass another.
What else could a deliberate widening of a single track road be?

Around our part of the world, people seem to think they're parking places. Oh, what a difference two little letters can make. Morons.

BJ

You mean they're not supposed to be partying places?

[bungeejumper]

You mean they're not supposed to be partying places?

Pissing places, too.

BJ

[TheMotorcycleBoy]

Car alarms

[TheMotorcycleBoy]

Cat leads.

I'm not joking!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/HOMIMP-Adjusta ... B07FY8S2FV

The puurfect present for your favourite pet!

[neversay]

True story on leaf blowers:

Taking my then 5 year old son to school one day he was transfixed watching the council workmen with their backpack mounted leaf blowers.

He turned to me and said:

"Dad, when I grow up I'd like a blower".

I smiled and thought to myself: "that's my boy".

[TheMotorcycleBoy]

True story on leaf blowers:

Taking my then 5 year old son to school one day he was transfixed watching the council workmen with their backpack mounted leaf blowers.

He turned to me and said:

"Dad, when I grow up I'd like a blower".

I smiled and thought to myself: "that's my boy".

Indeed many kids would aspire to owning a Subaru Impreza.

[jfgw]

The electric hand drier has already been mentioned. I wish to nominate a related but even more useless item - the hand wash drier. These are usually either stainless steel or fake stone (plastic). Inserting one's hands into the cavity causes the UPoE (useless piece of equipment) to make a noise and, in some cases, dispense a blob of soap. The UPoE then dispenses enough water to spread the soap over one's hands but not wash it off. A short puff of air finishes the cycle. It is then necessary to activate the UPoE again but avoid the soap in order to finish washing the soap off of one's hands. Drying is performed naturally while walking down the road.

Julian F. G. W.

[AleisterCrowley]

...Inserting one's hands into the cavity causes the UPoE (useless piece of equipment) to make a noise and, in some cases, dispense a blob of soap. ...
Julian F. G. W.

80% of the time it makes a grinding /whirring noise and nothing comes out.

I often end up using stand-alone hand dryers which blow cold air - obviously the heating element has failed
How difficult is it to design a dryer that either;
(a) doesn't work when element fails, or
(b) has some sort of diagnostic (just one little red LED) that indicates a failed element ????

(b) is preferable, as cold air is better than nothing . Assuming the operators can be bothered to fix things.

[bungeejumper]

to make a noise and, in some cases, dispense a blob of soap.

"Soap" can cover a multitude of sins, and you won't know just what it's going to be until it's on your hands.

Will it be a glutinous streak of yellow stuff that makes you wonder whether the last user perhaps mistook the machine for a urinal? Will it smell of jasmine and lotus blossom, or of Dettol? Will you ever get it off your shirt?

And will it in fact be soap at all? Or a nameless gob of cuckoo spit?

It's too late now. You're about to discover that the water isn't working. Enjoy your job interview/bank manager meeting/tinder date.

BJ