Please remember...

[redsturgeon]

Moderator Message:
This board is,

"A virtual pub for off topic, light hearted pub related banter and discussion".

Any topics that are likely to lead to serious discussions with polarised opinions being aired are out of place here and will be moved to more appropriate boards.

Thank you.

[UncleEbenezer]

How about all the threads concerning "sporting" events? There's supposed to be a separate board for that particularly corrupt[1] branch of the entertainment industry.

[1] Well, you certainly don't get to be a contender at telly-event level without being deep into a grey area concerning drugs and the like. Then it's politics - and other corrupt relationships - whether you get away with it.

[bungeejumper]

What he said. "No trainers", it says on the pub door. So that's no runners, no footy, and presumably no racehorses either.

Seriously, it ain't what you say, it's the way that you say it. Maybe the sign on the door should say "all tongues to be kept firmly in cheek. No spitting on the premises".

BJ

[scotia]

My grandfather warned me of the danger of Pubs. He used to say "I saw many good men ruined in Glasgow Public Houses" - this was his experience around the turn of the century - you can guess which one.
So do you think its safe for me to enter Beerpig's Snug? My grandfather is no longer around to ask. And honestly - I don't possess trainers.

[bungeejumper]

My grandfather warned me of the danger of Pubs. He used to say "I saw many good men ruined in Glasgow Public Houses" - this was his experience around the turn of the century - you can guess which one.

I once found myself drinking (down in leafy Surrey) with a giant of a man, a Glasgow newspaper editor called Cameron. After seven or eight large whiskies, he confessed that he wasn't called Cameron at all, but James. Why the adopted moniker, I asked? It was simple, he said. If you were in a Glasgow pub and somebody behind you said, "hey Jimmy", you knew not to turn round. Mind you, calling yourself by the name of an English prime minister can't have been a whole lot safer.

BJ

[dionaeamuscipula]

When I lived to London a large percentage of the street gentlemen who accosted me in the search for the price of a cup of tea had Scottish accents. I evolved the theory that this had nothing to do with their place of upbringing, but instead was because the more you drink, the more Scottish you start to sound, and by the time you have shifted onto the dosser's of-choice drinks of Buckie, Lannie, or El-D, you are speaking the full Weegie.

That my own accent has softened over time is therefore a function of my lower appetite rather than my geographic absence from the Great Country.

DM

Translations:

Buckie - Buckfast Tonic Wine, a caffeinated fortified French wine originally produced by English monks "a badge of pride amongst those who are involved in antisocial behaviour"
Lannie - Lanliq, a South African fortified wine "I believe a Lanliq and hairspray cocktail was just the ticket for instant oblivion"
El-D - Eldorado. Apparently initially a South African "sherry" this seems to have morphed into being Cypriot at around the time that anti-apartheid protests were in vogue. "Was it OldTawny or Rich White? One was more vile than the other...needs must now and again though"
Weegie - Glaswegan

[scotia]

Well - after all the favourable comments above, its clear that we can't locate Beerpig's Snug in Glasgow - it would be far too popular.
Many years ago, when being interviewed for a post in Glasgow, I was asked if my wife would have no objections in moving to Glasgow. Maybe they were worried about her having problems fighting her way to the bar in a Glasgow Pub (she's only 5ft tall).

[Lootman]

"A virtual pub for off topic, light hearted pub related banter and discussion".

When I did my bartender training, we were told the art of when to talk to punters and when not to. One of the golden rules was to never discuss politics or religion with a punter. Sport, however, was allowed.

[UncleEbenezer]

One of the golden rules was to never discuss politics or religion with a punter. Sport, however, was allowed.

Well, if you could separate sport from politics (or religion in certain parts of the country), I can only presume this is real sports - as played between local schools and the like - rather than the commercialised celebrity aspect that obsesses our national media.

[UncleEbenezer]

How about all the threads concerning "sporting" events? There's supposed to be a separate board for that particularly corrupt[1] branch of the entertainment industry.

[1] Well, you certainly don't get to be a contender at telly-event level without being deep into a grey area concerning drugs and the like. Then it's politics - and other corrupt relationships - whether you get away with it.

... and in this morning's news, a specific case of how the British have won so many medals in recent years. Very, very good at bending the rules to their advantage while maintaining deniability.

I spot one of those irregular verbs in there.

• We have a great and clean training regime.
• You have the occasional breach.
• They systematically dope.

[UncleIan]

... and in this morning's news, a specific case of how the British have won so many medals in recent years. Very, very good at bending the rules to their advantage while maintaining deniability.

Being told you "Cross the ethical line" by MPs...takes one to know one I guess. Which house shall we have Joe Public pay the mortgage on this week?