Ex girlfriend advice

[PinkDalek]

Well, we parted amicably so hopefully she's not going to come after me with an axe

Hmmm an axe-girlfriend not sure I like the sound of that.

John

I'm not convinced you are taking this seriously. If I were the OP I might be somewhat axeasperated.

[Itsallaguess]

What a shame for AC - he gets some nice news like this and people just want to put some sort of comedy-downer on it.

I think it's really nice that she's axed him out.

Sorry, asked him out....

Itsallaguess

[AleisterCrowley]

No! She hasn't axed..sorry,asked me out.
It's probably an automatic LinkedIn contacts sweep.
She'll probably realise what she's done and unfriend me, or whatever the LinkedIn equivalent is. And then come after me with an axe.

[bruncher]

Which of you decided to end the relationship?

[JMN2]

Just let it go, AC, bad omen,bad luck.You're a one man band now,better that way.

[AleisterCrowley]

Which of you decided to end the relationship?

She did, and got married (and divorced)
She didn't like my lack of commitment , which is fair enough.

[bruncher]

If you want to know, you could ask whether she is aware that she 'invited' you? But there is no doubt a complex history between you, attention to which is likely to be more help to you in deciding, than any advice from this board (or do you have close friends here?)

There's a high level of deniability with digital technology: "I didn't mean it", "It's got a mind if it's own" etc. which can be used by people who like playing games - poking to see if there's a reaction.

[sg31]

[quote="bruncher"]If you want to know, you could ask whether she is aware that she 'invited' you? But there is no doubt a complex history between you, attention to which is likely to be more help to you in deciding, than any advice from this board (or do you have close friends here?)

There's a high level of deniability with digital technology: "I didn't mean it", "It's got a mind if it's own" etc. which can be used by people who like playing games - poking to see if there's a reaction.[/quote]


That's a bit premature, they've not even been out for a drink yet.

[AleisterCrowley]

Harrumph!
No contact beyond the linkedin request, so probably an error. I will let sleeping dogs lie I think (not that she's a dog, quite the opposite)

[redsturgeon]

Bull by the horns AC, bull by the horns!

John

[AleisterCrowley]

Double Harrumph!
I'm 52. One foot in the gravy etc...

[JMN2]

AC, you need to calm down now.

[bungeejumper]

Hmmm, seven years, and she's been married and (presumably) divorced since then? And you're seven years on, but down a different road?

For sure, those seven years will have changed both of you. Is it likely that you'll still have much in common, apart from a few memories, and maybe some of that old chemical attraction? (You can't change your pheromones. )

I'd say there's only one way to find out. But make sure that you're not just shaking the previous dice-cup in the optimistic hope of getting a double six this time. My daughter hooked up with an old flame a couple of years ago, and it took her two very long years to realise that he (married, two kids, divorcing his affluent successful wife) was still the same feckless, clueless, untruthful, non-committing reason why she'd dumped him in the first place 15 years ago. It's hit her rather hard.

Thousands of wonderful women out there. Some of them are even interested in beer and steam engines.

BJ

[AleisterCrowley]

Well it was only a (possibly automatic) LinkedIn request, not a marriage offer!!! Did get me thinking about her again though, which may mean something. Or not.

[redsturgeon]

IME it is usually better to do something that you think might be beneficial rather than regret your inaction at a later date.

So a quick note saying, "I see you contacted me via linkedin. How are you these days?" would have very little downside and would resolve the issue of not knowing whether the contact was deliberate.

On the other hand you can let sleeping dogs lie and forever wonder, "What if?"

John

[swill453]

What about a simple "Long time no hear, hope you're well"?

Even if it was an automatic connection request she'll have had a notification that you've accepted. She may be sitting there wondering if you'll get in touch.

Scott.

[bungeejumper]

Did get me thinking about her again though, which may mean something. Or not.

It means you ain't dead from the waist down yet. Take it from there. But hey, if you've had a good relationship with this woman, then you can do the same again, but not necessarily with her. The world's your lobster. Why settle for the same-old prawn cocktail?

BJ

[UncleEbenezer]

You need to think through why you split up in the first place. The real, underlying reasons, not the narrative you half-convince yourself of at the time, and explain to your friends because you're under pressure to explain and it's too complicated/unclear to go into the full details.

I've had one girlfriend I foolishly got back with after splitting up. She wasn't right for me first time, and it was just as miserable second time round.

[brightncheerful]

What do I do? I still miss her..

Assuming it's genuine, not a bot, you follow through, that's what.

Whether she still misses you or not, she's curious enough to want to find out.

What you don't do, imo, is take any notice of the comments on this thread (including mine!).

---

One my ex's contacted me at the Millennium. She lives approximately 24 hours traveling distance away. Since then we've emailed each other maybe once a year. She has sent me ecards for my birthday. Which reminds me I forgot to wish her a happy New Year at the start of 2018. (And in case you're wondering, Mrs Bnc doesn't mind. ex, who has never met Mrs Bnc, includes sending her (ex) regards to Mrs Bnc.

I still keep inn touch with the first Mrs Bnc. First contacted me a couple of years ago (wanting some advice on selling her father's house), the first contact for ages. After a flurry, including my sending her father a birthday card for his 100th, our contact has settled down now to birthday and Christmas greetings.

Personally I think it's nice to keep in touch with those I've known and been friends, etc with over the years. Whether you want a renewed contact to go more than one stage further depends upon your and the other person's circumstances.

[wheypat]

3 of my ex girlfriends came to my wedding. My wife once went on a hen night and shared a room with 3 other girls. All of which were my ex girl friends (I've never asked what they talked about that weekend). One lives 20 feet away from me across the road. She comes over for dinner once a month.

Why not?