Uncaring authorities

[gnawsome]

Uncaring authorities

Prompted by Uncaring relatives #185204 by Clitheroekid » December 7th, 2018...

I'm 82 my wife died mid 2017 after several years of Alzhiemer's. I was her carer 24/7.
I truly don't know if I did well enough, being of a somewhat rough and ready nature but my wife had always said she did not want to go 'into a home' -- she did not.
That might have been partially due to the cost (would have to have been self-funded).
Or it may have been influenced by my experience of seeing my brother in a home - not good.
Whilst trying to find ways to manage the situation I was appalled at the extent how much money was squandered on ensuring that no help was given.
To obtain a 'blue badge' took endless letters, phone calls and visits to the GP and LA.
To benefit from the rebate of Council Tax for SMI went on for months as a continuum of obstruction, errors and idiocy all designed to lessen any cost to the authority.
Everything was based on the premise that 'You've got money so you've got to pay' which resolved in my mind as 'we've got a service that we want to sell to you so that you can subsidise those we have to give it to for free.
Angry – Oh yes.
My wife collapsed on the stairs one evening and I could not lift her so I called for an ambulance – arrived c4hrs later.
The crew could not figure out how to move her so I had to instruct them (Iknow how that sounds)
Once she was off the stairs the crew decided that they would remove her to hospital (I learned at the inquest that it was for her safety – from me)
Next day I had a call to say my wife was being sent home as that was her choice, apparently expressed in a consultation with staff. A consultation with a patient without any capacity to speak let alone have a rational thought.
My wife was delivered home in the afternoon and it was obvious that her bed had to be set up downstairs (daughter and Sil were visiting).
She died during the night.

There's more to the story but my point is that if a fraction of what was wasted on avoiding providing any real help, had been used fruitfully we may both have had a better life.

My thanks to Clitheroe kid for causing many of us to review ourselves – I don't have any answers