Forgive or Banish

[tjh290633]

Good analogy but understates the cringe level of my worst hole-digging effort: local tennis club... my young kids' friends habitually attend with their mother and pet dog. One week they arrive with an older-looking gentleman: "Hello, you must be the grandfather!" say I jocularly. "Umm, I'm Harry's father" says he; whereupon instead of shrinking under the armchairs I address the dog -- yes the dog! -- with "Oh you've brought your granddad today!" which achieved precisely the opposite of the intended effect of not looking like a complete tit...

Is it worse to assume that a youngish person is the mother, when it turns out to be the grandmother?

TJH

[ElectronicFur]

Perhaps I should've said what actually happened for me to banish my best friend of 30 years but I can confirm that it was a huge betrayal rather than just 'I forgot your brother's name' and I honestly thought that when I confronted him with it, there would either be a huge fight, or he would collapse in tears. He did neither. Just denied it, turned away and wasn't able to look me in the eye.

I didn't press it. I knew he was lying. I just said, 'I'm sorry but I don't believe you', and walked out of the pub. 30 years of friendship up in smoke.

I think in this situation I would have voted banish, but with note that I would forgive upon receiving a genuine apology.

Because I've realised through experience that it's only worth spending time on friendships with those who really care and will be there for you in good and bad times. Time is valuable so why waste it on those who betray you.