Help me out here

[terminal7]

Don't forget all the fun with comb binders, fax machines and IBM punch cards with data processing rods.

T7

[redsturgeon]

On a slightly different tack, my first job after uni was as a pharmaceutical rep, visiting doctors and selling them my companies drugs. It was great. After the first six week training course I was out on my own, brand new company Ford Cortina, expense account and a monthly meeting with my manager and the other seven reps in our team. No mobile phones, no computers, I didn't even have a home phone for the first six months I worked so I was uncontactable except once a week when I phoned my boss from a public phone box.

The next time I visited the head office of the company was on the day I left the company, those were the days.

John

[Rhyd6]

My flabber as they say has never been so gasted!! I spent all my working life as a civil servant, a much maligned occupation, because all and sundry are convinced that civil servants do nothing but drink tea and do naff all each and every day. This unfortunately wasn't true. Working in the "dole office" meant being on the go all the time because people were inconsiderate enough to want to sign on and then of course they wanted their dole money on a Friday and we had to calculate how much they were due and have it ready and waiting for them. This was before calculators were even thought of so everything had to be done manually and if you've never wrestled with the complications of "widows runnig starts" you've never lived.

Working in the tax office meant that everyone hated you and were convinced that although you demanded money from them by some quirk of fate you didn't have to pay a penny - I wish!!!

My eyes have been well and truly opened and I thank you for this because the next time someone who works in an office tells me how difficult their job is and how hard they work I shall pour scorn on their tales.

R6

[XFool]

persuading storekeepers that some parts of their job don’t involve either storing or keeping.

True story

Me: Hi, I need a new log book please.
Stationery Store bod disappears to back of stores, comes back holding a logbook.
Bod: It's the last one.
Me: That's ok. I only want one.
Bod: But I'm not sure if I should give it to you. Someone might want it.



Me: Someone does want it - Me!

Ah! Definitely a true story. It was one of the earliest things I learned at my first job, leading to my conclusion that stores only ever keep a maximum of N - 1 items of anything in stock.

The generally accepted explanation being that: "somebody might want it" (the last item in stock) really meant: "somebody more important than you might want it."

[tjh290633]

Don't forget all the fun with comb binders, fax machines and IBM punch cards with data processing rods.

T7

Back in 1956-7 I was involved in X-ray crystallography. To work out the crystal structure we used punched cards and a Hollerith Tabulator, with a program on a breadboard, which had wire connections.

If you had put a card in back to front it would go berserk, printing out page after page of gibberish instead of a single page of your crystal's electron density. As I recall, negative numbers required the card to be put in upside down, hence the usual error . You had to be quick off the mark to stop the line printer in its tracks, then get the cards the right way round.

I am in the throes of throwing out documents from 30 or more years ago. Comb binders present a problem for recycling, so unbinding calls for some jiggery pokery. I like to reuse paper with a blank side for casual printing. Other binders with a clip and front and back sheets are much easier to use.

TJH

[Rhyd6]

True Snorvey true, but then you never had to go on a training course with Leslie Neilson either. Admittedly at the time he just seemed a rather quiet, ordinary guy, just goes to show.

R6

[PinkDalek]

True Snorvey true, but then you never had to go on a training course with Leslie Neilson either. Admittedly at the time he just seemed a rather quiet, ordinary guy, just goes to show.

R6

what, the guy from the Naked Gun?

Cool.

Nah, that was Leslie Neilsen.

I hope Rhyd isn't talking about Dennis Nilsen.

[tjh290633]

You may be old enough to remember when blue fivers replaced the old crisp white ones.

I was running a construction site at the time and decided that blue fivers would simplify the job considerably. To get the cash required a visit to a quiet bank branch, always at a different time and wearing my old RAF officer's raincoat. The cash was spread around various pockets, half crowns, florins, shillings, sixpences, thruppeny bits, pennies and halfpennies. Notes went in jacket pockets.

Come the day and all hell was let loose. The complaint was that they didn't have enough notes to give the wife her housekeeping. We had to compromise by making sure that there was never less than £5 in pound or tenbob notes. The labouring rate was about 4/- an hour then. A typical week was 44 hours basic, with time and a half for weekday overtime, double time for Sunday, and can I have a sub please? Very seldom given, and always taken out of the next pay packet. Saturday morning was a normal working day, but might have got time and a third. For 60 paid hours that would be about £12 for the lowest paid. A lot of the men were theoretically travelling men which meant they got lodging allowance of £4/18/0 a week as well. I had a good foreman who would mark the list with DCM, for Don't Come Monday. We were winding the site down, so the casuals would be let go. Permanent staff would be posted to another site. You learnt a lot quickly on that job.

TJH

[scotia]

and wearing my old RAF officer's raincoat.

I'm sure we are allowed to digress (slightly) on this site - especially when the powers that be remember our advanced years.
TJH - I had remembered that you had served your conscription in the RAF, and that reminded me of a story told by a (regrettably late) senior civil servant, who also was conscripted into the RAF (as an Education Officer) in the late 40s (since he had a foreign language degree). He was posted to an RAF base in the UK, and was told that he was expected to attend a formal dinner (monthly I think) in the Officer's mess. Dress uniform was mandatory. However the UK government had not thought fit to supply such a uniform - since his stay would only be for two years, and he made it clear that if the government couldn't afford it, neither could he. So a compromise was suggested - Dinner Jacket, but again his response was that he couldn't afford that either on a conscript's wages. So he was required to attend in his service uniform, but to remain in a side room where the on-duty officer (also in service uniform) was served. As the months passed, a number of other officers joined them, having discovered excuses as to why they required to be in their service uniforms. It was generally agreed that the company was much more congenial than at the formal dinner.

[Rhyd6]

Oops, thank you PD. I never forget a face but putting a moniker to it is a very hit and miss affair.

R6

[dionaeamuscipula]

True Snorvey true, but then you never had to go on a training course with Leslie Neilson either. Admittedly at the time he just seemed a rather quiet, ordinary guy, just goes to show.

R6

I hope Rhyd isn't talking about Dennis Nilsen.

When MrsDM first arrived on these shores, she took a flat at 197 Melrose Gardens*. She wondered why it was so cheap.

DM
*or it may have been 193, whatever, it was next door, we found out later

[stewamax]

That sort of purposeless work-life would, to me at least, be hell-with-hot-pitchforks.
Some years ago when I worked in Japan, those with 'real' jobs were genuinely sorry for (but slightly apologetic for the existence of) the madogiwazoku* - those employees who couldn't be let go because it was customary in the larger businesses not to do so, but had no job to do.

*I think I spelled it right; roughly translates as "someone who sits at a window"

[AleisterCrowley]

True Snorvey true, but then you never had to go on a training course with Leslie Neilson either. Admittedly at the time he just seemed a rather quiet, ordinary guy, just goes to show.

R6

I hope Rhyd isn't talking about Dennis Nilsen.

When MrsDM first arrived on these shores, she took a flat at 197 Melrose Gardens*. She wondered why it was so cheap.

DM
*or it may have been 193, whatever, it was next door, we found out later

Thought it was Cranley (Cranleigh?) Gardens, relatively near to my Crouch End address
Or did he move around a bit?

[PinkDalek]

Thought it was Cranley (Cranleigh?) Gardens, relatively near to my Crouch End address
Or did he move around a bit?

He would appear to have lived at 195 Melrose Avenue between 1978 and 1981:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/c ... 03303.html

Flat 23D Cranley Gardens is also mentioned. From elsewhere, he appears to have been there from 1981 to 1983.

[Slarti]

those with 'real' jobs were genuinely sorry for (but slightly apologetic for the existence of) the madogiwazoku* - those employees who couldn't be let go because it was customary in the larger businesses not to do so, but had no job to do.

When I first went self employed, the contract that decided me that now was the time to jump ship went fut and I was left twiddling my thumbs for most of each week.

Someone I knew socially knew my situation and asked me to look at why his recently inherited family business was not doing very well. Long story short after 2 weeks I gave him 2 lists of names, one much longer than the other and told him to get rid of everybody on the long list and only keep those on the short. There had been a lot of empire building, over the years, to the extent that there was one complete department of 15 people who had no visible purpose.

Slarti

[tjh290633]

and wearing my old RAF officer's raincoat.

I'm sure we are allowed to digress (slightly) on this site - especially when the powers that be remember our advanced years.
TJH - I had remembered that you had served your conscription in the RAF, and that reminded me of a story told by a (regrettably late) senior civil servant, who also was conscripted into the RAF (as an Education Officer) in the late 40s (since he had a foreign language degree). He was posted to an RAF base in the UK, and was told that he was expected to attend a formal dinner (monthly I think) in the Officer's mess. Dress uniform was mandatory. However the UK government had not thought fit to supply such a uniform - since his stay would only be for two years, and he made it clear that if the government couldn't afford it, neither could he. So a compromise was suggested - Dinner Jacket, but again his response was that he couldn't afford that either on a conscript's wages. So he was required to attend in his service uniform, but to remain in a side room where the on-duty officer (also in service uniform) was served. As the months passed, a number of other officers joined them, having discovered excuses as to why they required to be in their service uniforms. It was generally agreed that the company was much more congenial than at the formal dinner.

By the time I was in we had to wear "Interim mess kit". This was your battledress uniform (the only one) with a white shirt and a black bow tie. The bow tie had to be tied by yourself and most of us had a single ended. These seem to have disappeared, but I was fortunate to find a replacement for my by now frayed tie online from a gents outfitter in Cirencester. It was not in their latest catalogue.

Later I bought a No.1 uniform from Montague Burton, with which the same rules applied. I have been to events where the Chief of the Air Staff attended. I don't think that he wore proper mess kit, but it was 60 years ago.

TJH

[sg31]

When I first went self employed, the contract that decided me that now was the time to jump ship went fut and I was left twiddling my thumbs for most of each week.

Someone I knew socially knew my situation and asked me to look at why his recently inherited family business was not doing very well. Long story short after 2 weeks I gave him 2 lists of names, one much longer than the other and told him to get rid of everybody on the long list and only keep those on the short. There had been a lot of empire building, over the years, to the extent that there was one complete department of 15 people who had no visible purpose.

Slarti

When I worked for an insurance company I had great fun doing something similar on a lower level scale. Years before they had introduced computers in various stages, using numerous system. Each one had required a new system or a modification of an older system. I could see the inefficiencies from about the second month of my employment. Nobody would listen when I suggested that half the work we were doing was pointless. Managers were scared to rock the boat or realised it might mean their empire might shrink. Effectively I was told to shut up, I was too new to know how things should be done.

It took a while but I made it to middle management and at last had the authority to act. There were reports compiled at great length each month apparently needed by head office. I spoke to the department concerned. Nobody looked at them, they were 'filed'. I stopped doing them, nobody noticed. I went through everything we did and analysed how it fitted into the current system. I cut out about 40% of the work the department did.

The sad thing was that there were some genuinely hard working people who conscientiously spent their time doing totally pointless things. I can imagine then getting home after a hard days work and telling their partner they were exhausted after a gruelling day. How do you tell them that they have effectively been wasting their time for the last few years? Obviously you don't, you just find them something interesting to do that is productive.

The company eventually twigged what I had done and I was asked to go from branch to branch on a full time basis analysing ststems and reporting on how to make efficiency savings. That was right up my street but they didn't want to pay me any more for sorting out managers who were senior to me. I refused and left shortly afterwards.

[scotia]

By the time I was in we had to wear "Interim mess kit". This was your battledress uniform (the only one) with a white shirt and a black bow tie. The bow tie had to be tied by yourself and most of us had a single ended. These seem to have disappeared, but I was fortunate to find a replacement for my by now frayed tie online from a gents outfitter in Cirencester. It was not in their latest catalogue.
Later I bought a No.1 uniform from Montague Burton, with which the same rules applied. I have been to events where the Chief of the Air Staff attended. I don't think that he wore proper mess kit, but it was 60 years ago.
TJH

Being from a non-military family, I was unaware of the various levels of military uniform, until I found myself invigilating at an examination in the university OTC hall. Around the wall were pictures of the various types of garb (both male and female) used for different occasions - so I was amused when the Civil Servant told me of his experience. I should also add, for the purpose of this board, that as an Education Officer he seemed to have no specific duties, so he organised classes on topics he thought that might be of interest, and occasionally invited along guest speakers. Another acquaintance, with whom I still frequently lunch, also carried out National Service in the RAF, in the late fifties. He was a keen sportsman, who's family firm manufactured sports equipment. He was trained as a radar mechanic, and saw service in Hong Kong. He claims that he carried out very little radar duty, since he engaged in every allowable sport, and this was considered an acceptable substitute for more mundane duties. Which was just as well, since he told me that he was trained on British radar systems, and not on the American systems used in Hong Kong.