The Lemon Fool

Thought Beerpig would beat me to the party and as I am sure many of you are so incredibly excited about this mammoth event tomorrow night, second only in viewing numbers to the World cup or the Olympics and know that you just cant wait, so thought I would fancy your tickle a bit. I swore last year that I would not sit through virtually 4 hours of total boring tosh, so will be recording it and whizzing through what I want to see, probably the last 20 minutes.

I just cannot believe(even though the bookies seem to get it right every single year) that the Netherlands is odds on favourite, or were the last time I looked. Some naked fellow from their video, swimming in a pool might be hormone raising for some but the song is just p%ss awful, so what am I missing and yet wtfdik?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eztx7Wr8PtE

My picks........Aussie are just chomping at the bit to bring it back to EuroStralia, ear shattering strangulation at times but love the long thing that comes out of the backing singers [expletive deleted], need to have these as standard in strip joints and even I would have a go! Hope we see two of these ladies as only one used in the semi's so would love to see them bang into each other and knock themselves out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlpBPO9_L4E

Denmark. Catchy little number, well, you have to hear it a few times and then it really grates on you. One of the few fairly normal looking creatures in the show but in dire need of a dentist and not sure if she has knocked off Lilly Allan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAdSQxaXsSk

Switzerland. Like it......nice pair!! and those lyrics....Go Low, Go Low, Go Solo, She got me dirty as Sin...oooh aahhh.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PxoMWtAC7M


France...gives me the willies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PxoMWtAC7M

it gets better. Portugal. You go boys. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSbp8lwCQp8

Oooh.....Ice me up, bit of bondage, yeah baby. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ELSP8zqhXo

Top three.....Aussie, Denmark, Switzerland and each year I get it totally wrong, but this year we do have Madonna to look forward to in interval......
I will now get my coat...............

PHEW!!!!

Is it my imagination or is Madge singing a few bum notes??

Just confirmed Madonna can't sing

As I said..what do I know? Bookies got it right again and finally worked out how they do it. Apparently these two songs who came 1st and second have been in the European charts for 2-3 months with gazillions sold already, so they have a fairly good idea whats already been rammed down the throats of the masses. This business of huge votes coming in at the end of the show from god knows who, makes the whole thing a total farce and please tell me if you actually not only enjoyed the Dutch song but thought it was seriously better than all the rest......................

Already beat me to it....yes, I thought her(Madge) singing was shocking.....she's put on some weight, looks like some Disney Witch and should have sang with Iceland......I'm not watching this ever again but did have the pleasure of condensing 4 hours into 20 minutes and that was too long........

Cya next year...

I've not watched Eurovision for over 40 years, total disinterest on my part. However our local (there is only one) had a Eurovision night last night that my wife and I didn't know about. It was either stay or go back home. We stayed.

I've not missed much in those 40 years.

Icelandic Anticapitalist band, if they were anticapitalists they would have had more integrity of they didn't turn up.

What were the French thinking, I've nothing against overweight ballet dancers but it didn't work on any level. If you want to make a statement about inclusion (maybe that's what they tried to do) then you aren't likely to win.

Australia, the well known European country, apparently now has a national shortage of KY jelly.

Madge has lost what voice she ever had

What was that thing that looked like the tin man with a star on it's head.

Our song was uninspiring but easy on the ear (forgettable), there were worse.

The song from Azerbaijan was a decent pop song.

I lost the will to live after that.

Yes, Madonna hitting all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.
Though I think I heard G. Norton echo my thoughts - fair play to her for turning up whilst suffering from conjunctivitis.

Gaggsy wrote:Yes, Madonna hitting all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.
Though I think I heard G. Norton echo my thoughts - fair play to her for turning up whilst suffering from conjunctivitis.

Someone emailing Ken Bruce this morning - "I never thought I'd have anything in common with Madonna, however on our way to work at a Client's house this morning we had to turn back as we'd forgotten the key".

nimnarb wrote:I'm not watching this ever again

Uh-huh

Cya next year...

Ah Hah!!

I actually watched the vast majority of it for the first time this year. When sleep eventually took me over, North Macedonia were romping away with it at number one and the UK were sixth from bottom.

When I woke up, the UK had finished last and North Macedonia were about 10th(?)

Can anyone fill me in how that happened?

HYD

Howyoudoin wrote:I actually watched the vast majority of it for the first time this year. When sleep eventually took me over, North Macedonia were romping away with it at number one and the UK were sixth from bottom.

When I woke up, the UK had finished last and North Macedonia were about 10th(?)

Can anyone fill me in how that happened?

They spent an hour getting the jury votes, then 5 minutes adding the "public" votes which were the same amount again.

Turns out the public love songs that have been in the European charts for months (who'd have guessed?) and they hate the UK (ditto).

Scott.

This tries to explain it all.................still makes no sense as voting up to 20 times, what a farce@!!!!

https://www.radiotimes.com/news/tv/2019 ... s-it-work/

Maybe the UK needs to re-think its strategy: instead of going with industrial pop and coming last, we could have four entries, each playing to national character - marching bagpipes, massed voices, morris dancers, strait-jacketed dancers for example.

The advantage of this approach is that we could have 3/4 of the union avoid coming last and quite possibly England still in with a chance of "null points".

VRD

I still remember fondly the days of Katie Boyle saying "Hello Monaco. Quelle est la vote du Jury Monégasque?", Followed by the inevitable "Norvege null points". Happy days before they let the riff-raff in.

TJH

Relevant:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-48334089

Executive Summary:
It's not really Brexit, we just don't make the effort.

Interesting that the other nations that pay for it (and therefore don't have to qualify) all do badly too.

Do we have any artists that are massive in Europe? I keep seeing that The Cure are headlining festivals all over Europe this summer, they would be an, erm, interesting counterpoint, let's say, to the general pop flavour of Eurovision.

I'd prefer the UK's entries sank into oblivion, rather than the following being representative of our musical output:

Brotherhood Of Man - Save Your Kisses For Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Szavq0lrFtg

Pass the sick bag nurse.

UncleIan wrote:Relevant:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-48334089

Executive Summary:
It's not really Brexit, we just don't make the effort.

Interesting that the other nations that pay for it (and therefore don't have to qualify) all do badly too.

Do we have any artists that are massive in Europe? I keep seeing that The Cure are headlining festivals all over Europe this summer, they would be an, erm, interesting counterpoint, let's say, to the general pop flavour of Eurovision.

There's an interesting Twitter thread about Eurovision that goes into far more musical technicalities than I understand: https://twitter.com/kitlovelace/status/ ... 9051899904

Executive summary (of the bits I can follow): We might think "poppy" songs win Eurovision, but moody ones actually do better these days.

Scott.

Due to a error in the voting, the UK have now finished even further last than on the night

The UK’s Eurovision score has been lowered following a miscalculation.

Michael Rice’s song “Bigger Than Us” came last in the competition, with the track initially scoring just 16 points.

The contest organisers have since said that an incorrect calculation was made after they created a set of “substitute” points for the Belarusian jury, who were dismissed following the semifinals.

The UK’s score now stands at 11 points. The Netherlands remains at the top of the board with 498 points.

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/eurovision-2019-uk-michael-rice-score-lowered-points-bigger-than-us-a8926411.html


This does beg the question as what would have happenned if the error had affected the winning song !