Shoes on or off when visiting?

[Clariman]

I don't post on this board much, but this is more of a chat than a DAK, so here goes.

When visiting someone else's house, do you automatically take off your shoes or do you only do so if asked? On the flip side of that do you, as a host, get annoyed if visitors to your home don't remove their shoes?

I wasn't brought up to take shoes off in our own home or anyone else's, so I don't take my shoes off when visiting others unless they ask me to. I also wouldn't dream of asking guests to take of their shoes because (in my way of thinking) it would be like me saying that my carpet was more important than my guest's comfort. That said, it doesn't upset me when someone asks me to take my shoes off but I prefer them o.

And a follow-up question. If you do take your shoes off when visiting, do you take a pair of slippers or just walk around in your socks?

Discuss

Clariman

[staffordian]

If we visit friends or relatives, we take slippers and put them on when we arrive.

We don't sit around our own home in shoes, we like our comfort, and it's the same when we visit!

And most of our visitors tend to do the same, but if they don't, it's no big deal.

Having said this, we don't tend to have lots of visitors and visits, and it tends to be the same relatively small circle of people.

Anyone with a hectic social life is likely to have different opinions, I suspect.

[PinkDalek]

When visiting someone else's house, do you automatically take off your shoes or do you only do so if asked?

Neither. I ask if my shoes should be removed, warning them of the resultant pong in advance. It is usually obvious if a shoe free zone by what the door opener is wearing and the piles of shoes in the hall.

On the flip side of that do you, as a host, get annoyed if visitors to your home don't remove their shoes?

Not annoyed, no, but if someone refused then one of us might not be pleased if they had been asked so to do.

And a follow-up question. If you do take your shoes off when visiting, do you take a pair of slippers or just walk around in your socks?

The latter. See 1 above.

[sg31]

I never asked peple to take their shoes off when they visit us, carpets are for walking on so what's the point. That changed about 8 years ago when we moved home and the new property was carpeted with very expensive plain cream deep pile wool carpet through out the ground floor. The carpet was absolutely wonderful underfoot but a nightmare to keep clean. I had to apologise to people who visited and explain the situation, they invariably understood and readily complied.

If we had been intending to stay in the property long term we would have replaced the carpet with something more practical but we knew we wouldn't be there too long so it wasn't really worth the expense.

In the area we now live every one loves heavily patterned carpets because 'they don't show the bits or dirt'. I wouldn't give them house room to be honest. I'd rather have the carpet cleaned periodically and hoover once in a while.

We now live in a farming community and mud is just one of the things that you may step in so I always remove my shoes when visiting.

[UncleEbenezer]

I remove mine at home, and normally when visiting. An exception might be if I'm visiting somewhere the floor looks dirtier than my shoes.

I'm not usually too fussed at home. My own shoes in the hall drop a hint which is ample for most, and if someone's footwear is muddy I might reinforce that hint. Sometimes I get the opposite: when I had a new sofa delivered, the delivery men insisted on putting covers over their shoes, despite my insistence that they were perfectly clean enough for me.

[Pendrainllwyn]

I always ask whether I should take my shoes off. I appreciate it when visitors do likewise. I live in Asia and it is often the custom to remove shoes.

Pendrainllwyn

[Rhyd6]

Other than stairs and landing our house isn't carpeted. We have either tiled or wooden floors so no-one has to remove their shoes. I've never been asked to remove shoes when visiting someone elses house though, like another poster, we always take slippers when visiting family.

R6

[AndyPandy]

I prefer to pad around in socks/bare feet at home, but don't feel the need to whip my shoes off as soon as I get home unless we've been for a tramp in the woods (yes, he normally gets away).

My other half does not agree with me wandering around home with shoes on. Let's leave it at that.


I once went for a Job interview in a house converted for Business purposes (as opposed to someone working from home). All the employees padded around without shoes and I was asked to as well, to which I complied. It was all a bit Zen in there anyway. I didn't accept the job offer, but nothing related to that.

[Slarti]

If a planned visit of more than half an hour we take slippers. If just a flying visit, I wouldn't expect to take off my shoes, unless they were dirty.

It used to be the case with me than anybody with a sense of smell preferred me to keep my shoes on and sealed, but that magically changed, for no apparent reason about 20 years ago. No more having to wash my feet 2 or 3 times a day, only wearing a pair of shoes once in 3 days and a different pair in the evening, if possible.

In my own home I never ask people to remove shoes, though one set of relatives insist, even if they haven't got slippers with them.

Actually I do have one acquaintance where I always take off my shoes as they are a Japanese family and live, mostly, in Japanese style.

Slarti

[jfgw]

Normally, I take my shoes off before walking on any carpeted area beyond the hallway. Some people have an offcut of carpet by the front door for shoes so I would take mine off before leaving the doormat. Sometimes, people tell me not to bother about taking my shoes off. In some cases, I keep my shoes on to keep my socks clean. I normally keep shoes on for tiles or laminate flooring.

I would normally consider it inconsiderate to carry, via one's shoes, dirt from outdoors and deposit it on someone-elses carpet.


Julian F. G. W.

[johnhemming]

When visiting look to see if the hosts and other guests have their shoes in the hall.

[stewamax]

I always wear slippers in the house.
When making a planned visit to someone else, I take slippers with me.
And I provide slippers for those visiting me.
I live in a country area where mud and cowpats are ubiquitous, and I even provide a boot-jack in the front porch for removing wellies and fitted riding boots.

[Lootman]

For God's sake, if you don't want dirty feet in your house then never invite anyone.

I freaking hate being asked/told to remove my shoes. Let's just socialise in the pub instead if you are that anal retentive.

[PinkDalek]

For God's sake, if you don't want dirty feet in your house then never invite anyone.

You were permitted to keep your socks on.

[AsleepInYorkshire]

I don't post on this board much, but this is more of a chat than a DAK, so here goes.

When visiting someone else's house, do you automatically take off your shoes or do you only do so if asked? On the flip side of that do you, as a host, get annoyed if visitors to your home don't remove their shoes?

I wasn't brought up to take shoes off in our own home or anyone else's, so I don't take my shoes off when visiting others unless they ask me to. I also wouldn't dream of asking guests to take of their shoes because (in my way of thinking) it would be like me saying that my carpet was more important than my guest's comfort. That said, it doesn't upset me when someone asks me to take my shoes off but I prefer them o.

And a follow-up question. If you do take your shoes off when visiting, do you take a pair of slippers or just walk around in your socks?

Discuss

Clariman

I never ask. Although it appears I should. https://www.insider.com/british-etiquet ... -uk-2019-1
I do remove my shoes when I am going into a home we have constructed and it's occupied.

AiY

[westmoreland]

i almost always take my shoes off when visiting someone else. exception if i'm not going to be there long, and there is hardwood / tiles / vinyl flooring, and the host has not removed their shoes.

[servodude]

I was brought up in a place where the last thing you probably stepped in was slurry, so removing my shoes is an automatic action.

Footwear is to protect the feet, and there's not much to watch out for indoors; except Lego, or the occasional upturned plug.

-sd

[Lootman]

For God's sake, if you don't want dirty feet in your house then never invite anyone.

You were permitted to keep your socks on.

Who said I am wearing socks? The choice could be between my dirty shoes and my smelly feet? Unless the host wants to offer me slippers although that really just seems a bit precious to me.

I usually consider myself a fairly normal Lemon demographic but the comments on this topic are instructive. Most Lemons seems to be very accommodating and deferential about requests to go shoeless, whereas I feel miffed on the odd occasion I have been asked to do that. I'd never take my shoes off voluntarily and would probably avoid going to the homes of those who ask me to.

Although I realise that this is just a special case of my more general rule that I do not like socialising in other peoples' homes. It always feels like I am beholden to the rules and quirks of others, and it can be awkward if you want to leave early and have to make up an excuse. (My wife and I have some secret indicative codes to facilitate early exits).

I'm at least consistent about it, as I don't like entertaining at home either. My home is my sanctuary and where I go to escape from other people. I'd always rather socialise in a public place e.g. bar or restauramt. Guess I'm a crusty curmudgeon.

[stevensfo]

i almost always take my shoes off when visiting someone else. exception if i'm not going to be there long, and there is hardwood / tiles / vinyl flooring, and the host has not removed their shoes.

Personally, I'd consider it the height of bad manners to walk around on a carpet with shoes on. You're basically using it to clean the soles. Unless begged by the host not to remove shoes, I automatically remove them in the hall. Although I admit that a nice thick carpet is a marvellous thing in the winter, especially in bedrooms, I've always considered them grubby, unhygienic things and much prefer parquet or tiles - with a few easily shakeable rugs perhaps.

Steve

[Midsmartin]

I would take my cue from the householders. If they have shoes on I'll probably keep mine on unless they're muddy. Is there a pile of shoes by the door? If so, then probably I'm expected to take them off. If there are none, then probably I'm not.

In our house I find most people take them off on entry (they just tripped over a small shoe mountain) though I usually also tell them it's fine to keep them on unless they are wet/muddy. The dog brings in more muck than a pair of clean shoes!