Wrong pronunciation

[AleisterCrowley]

I'm not a golfer, but a recent TV show made me realise I've been mentally mispronouncing "Titleist" for years... (golf balls etc)
It is, apparently, TITLE-ist
To me it was always TIT-lyste !
What a boob...

Any similar examples ?
I heard a woman in Eton pronounce pizzeria as 'pizz-area'
To me it's always been ~ peetza-ria
Who is right?

[Dod101]

To answer pizzeria I have always used pitz eeria (although I do not come across the word for often)

And I think the first word is TITLE ist.

Dod

[AleisterCrowley]

It is title-ist, but having not used it in everyday conversation it was always tit leist to me...

[AsleepInYorkshire]

It is title-ist, but having not used it in everyday conversation it was always tit leist to me...

I am from Yorkshire.

Up 'ere we speak the Queens English
But pays the Kings Taxes
Betroth the Dukes Daughter
And beg t' ladies forgiveness
We don't hurry worry
Or scupper with time
But by sure we don't have a clue what a pizza is!
Curry lad, curry

AiY

[bungeejumper]

Agree about Tit-leist, that's the way I always think of it. Partly because I'm just a stroppy bastard who doesn't like seeing a proper word like title (with a final e that determines the sound of the i, dammit) getting mangled about with an addition like "ist" that adds ambiguity and , oh I don't know, work it out for yourselves......

And also because anybody who thinks it's cool to walk around with a baseball cap that says Tit (to a well-positioned TV camera) is clearly not in full possession of his faculties.

But alas, linguistic abominations from yoofspeak, management-guffspeak** and especially techspeak ("I Bluetooth, retweet, I get 40 likes") have all but won the battle against tasteful and sensible language. Nothing for it, then, but to thank the language-mangling Doctor Aliss Wobbuts for gems such as "Lick at this willy mammoth, we can fand clees about its feed".

Oh, and it's properly spelt "pizza-rears", by the way. You can see them on every high street.

BJ

**Note: The FT's Lucy Kellaway was a keen collector of hideous business neologisms and invented a fictitious character called Martin Lukes who spouted them the entire time. For real-life hideousness, though, try http://www.ft.com/content/d118ce7a-d325 ... 93bb2e1b51 , or Google for "Contenders for 2016’s gong ranged from euphemistic to ‘plain moronic’" if it's paywalled.

[UncleEbenezer]

I had neither seen nor heard "titleist" until this thread thrusTit upon me. Is it a term of abuse like racist or sexist? Happy to say my browser has the decency to mark it as a smelling pistake.

You've stolen my innocence!

[AleisterCrowley]

Balls. That is what they do. And putters I think.

[PinkDalek]

The name Titleist is derived from the word "titlist", which means "title holder". according to https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/titlist.

Only in the US of A.

Reminds me of Bob Hope's reference to smacking a fanny or something like that at The Royal Variety Performance. Maybe The Silver Jubilee Royal Variety Gala (1977).

As I recall, that word might mean backside over the pond. I was told that Hope did not rehearse and was thus not made aware of one of the uses of his word over here.

How His Royal Highness The Duke Of Edinburgh K.G., K.T. must have chortled. (http://www.royalvarietycharity.org/roya ... -palladium)

[UncleEbenezer]

An accident rather uncanny
befell once my elderly granny.
She sat in a chair
while her false teeth were there,
and bit herself right in the fanny.

I'd get me coat, but it's too warm for that.

[AleisterCrowley]

There was a young woman from Ongar,

[brightncheerful]

When I see the name of a well-known chain of opticians, I read it as specs avers (as in specs averse).

[UncleEbenezer]

There was a young woman from Ongar,

who couldn't go on any longer.

Full stop.

When I see the name of a well-known chain of opticians, I read it as specs avers (as in specs averse).

Neighbouring the offices of my first employer as a young graduate was the National Association of Shopfitters.

Guess how we read their sign

[Itsallaguess]

There was a young woman from Ongar,

Who couldn't go on any longer.

As she stood on the chair,
And sorted her hair,
She mused if the rope should be stronger...

Itsallaguess

[PinkDalek]

... who had an affair with a conger ...

[AleisterCrowley]

In the version I know ;
Who was _____d, in the sea, by a conger
Her sister from Deal,
Asked 'How did it feel'?
She said ' Just like a man only longer '

[Leothebear]

For a while I read our fellow poster UncleIan as 'Unclean'. But then I am a bit dyslecsix.

[monabri]

Whilst watching football on the TV, at half time the ads appeared. My wife, not a football fan (with little interest in the match) asked "What's the FACUP?"

I was tempted to say "nothing,dear!"

[OLTB]

I was told by a friend the following (but I think it's apocryphal):

He was with his mother for a meal (which they had finished) and he got up to leave after paying.

His mother remained seated and he asked if she was ready to go.

"I'm waiting for my whiffy", she replied.

Confused, my friend asked her what a whiffy was and she pointed to the bottom of the menu which stated... free wifi.

Cheers, OLTB.

[bungeejumper]

My father was fond of embarrassing us in a restaurant by loudly asking the waiter about the horse's doofers. (Hors d'oeuvres, to the rest of humanity.)

BJ

[Gaggsy]

I admit I'm also a tit-leist man, so none of us appear to be as wittily original as we thought we were.

My other stumbling blocks: quinoa (surely quinn-oh-ah, and I won't be moved on this no matter how many times my wife corrects me) and falafel (fallah-fell I think but I'll probably say it different next time I come across it - hopefully not too soon)