The Lemon Fool

simsqu wrote:I would like to invite members to suggest the Planet's most useless piece of equipment.

Could I humbly start the ball rolling with The Handheld Leaf Blower, usually seen being held by a diffident teenager in the local Council's livery, as he wafts it back and forth in an insouciant manner so as to shift desultory leaves from one patch of park to another two feet away, and back again, leaving a trail of both noise and unburnt petrol pollution in his wake.

simsqu wrote:I would like to invite members to suggest the Planet's most useless piece of equipment (including any other stuff you feel you want to add - tee hee)

Could I humbly start the ball rolling with The Handheld Leaf Blower, usually seen being held by a diffident teenager in the local Council's livery, as he wafts it back and forth in an insouciant manner so as to shift desultory leaves from one patch of park to another two feet away, and back again, leaving a trail of both noise and unburnt petrol pollution in his wake.

1. Talcum powder
2. Button flies
3. Cotton buds
4. Straws
5. Traffic lights
6. Smart motorways
7. Snow ploughs
8. Wrinkle cream
9. Anaglypta
10. Ties
11. Tank tops

AsleepInYorkshire wrote:2. Button flies

Snorvey wrote:Our council has given up on clearing leaves, preferring instead to ensure their pensions are fully funded and anyone in management who wishes to retire at age 45 can do so safe in the knowledge the council will look after them financially.

...saying that, they have invested in expensive looking giant remote control lawnmowers......but it would seem the operative has to walk 2 feet behind the machine with the remote control in hand - so completely pointless. No that they're cutting the grass much either (other than the areas around council HQ which are extremely well maintained). When they do cut it, they only do the edges of the area, leaving the middle untouched. It's a good job the grass grows more slowly up here.

I'd blame the Scottish Government. But they only blame 'the Westminster Tory government we didn't vote for'

Anyone fancy setting up a Lemonfool republic? I'm sure if we club together we can buy an island somewhere.

simsqu wrote:I would like to invite members to suggest the Planet's most useless piece of equipment.

Could I humbly start the ball rolling with The Handheld Leaf Blower, usually seen being held by a diffident teenager in the local Council's livery, as he wafts it back and forth in an insouciant manner so as to shift desultory leaves from one patch of park to another two feet away, and back again, leaving a trail of both noise and unburnt petrol pollution in his wake.

bungeejumper wrote:Turn indicators on BMWs.

BJ

bungeejumper wrote:Cuff links.

BJ

AleisterCrowley wrote:

bungeejumper wrote:Cuff links.

BJ

Essential if you have double cuffs - but double cuffs...WHY?

AleisterCrowley wrote:"Smarter"
Pfffttttt....

sg31 wrote:

Snorvey wrote:Our council has given up on clearing leaves, preferring instead to ensure their pensions are fully funded and anyone in management who wishes to retire at age 45 can do so safe in the knowledge the council will look after them financially.

...saying that, they have invested in expensive looking giant remote control lawnmowers......but it would seem the operative has to walk 2 feet behind the machine with the remote control in hand - so completely pointless. No that they're cutting the grass much either (other than the areas around council HQ which are extremely well maintained). When they do cut it, they only do the edges of the area, leaving the middle untouched. It's a good job the grass grows more slowly up here.

I'd blame the Scottish Government. But they only blame 'the Westminster Tory government we didn't vote for'

Anyone fancy setting up a Lemonfool republic? I'm sure if we club together we can buy an island somewhere.

It is nothing to do with saving money, it's to help the environment and provide a natural habitat for whatever might need it. Well that is the justification in this area.