Not a poll poll - what was the worst item of clothing you ever wore

[AsleepInYorkshire]

I had a pair of "jeans" as a young man. They were flares. Not huge flares. They didn't need to be. But they were striking in that the top part was was dark purple and the bottom part was light purple. The colours changed at the knee in a diagonal cut. At the time I thought they looked the mutz nutz. Probably not

Eew

AiY

[Mike4]

A suit.

[UncleEbenezer]

It probably doesn't count, but my Birthday Suit is among many things I have that are getting very shabby and really should be replaced.

[GoSeigen]

Practically everything I wore as a teenager was cringeful -- some of them (not many) might have been cool at the time though...

A particular item brought home to me my sartorial incompetence: I was an immigrant, and soon after arriving in Sarf London decided to go out to the shops on my bike in what were essentially slippers but considered completely de rigueur in my home country. It was a Saturday morning and I ran the gauntlet of every kid from the local comprehensive, lolling around smoking fags or honing their graffiti skills as I cycled by in my navy slippers and brown corduroys.

Oh the hoots of derision! I can hear them to this day. I still dress pretty badly though.


GS

[servodude]

Jimmy Saville outfit, on the Halloween just before the revelations about him
- photos aged really badly
-sd

[bungeejumper]

How long have you got? Flares. Kipper ties. Tie-dyed T shirts. Speedos in the swimming pool. (Clue, I'm built like a brick wall, straight down. I'm not fat but I don't really narrow at the waist at all.)

And during my teaching days, a brown corduroy jacket that made me look as though my subject was geography. All I'd have needed to complete that outfit was a pipe. For the annual speech days I was required to wear an academic gown, and I generally borrowed one from a chemistry teacher, replete with suspicious brown stains and acid-burn holes. (The gown, not the teacher.)

Are we including shoes? In my youth I had cuban heels and inch-and-a-half platforms, which made riding a motorbike quite interesting. (There are foot-operated levers for brakes and gears.) But my former sis-in-law probably won first prize in that department. She went off for a pillion ride with her boyfriend wearing her new crepe soled shoes, and by the time they got back she couldn't get off, because they had welded themselves into the exhaust pipes.

BJ

[XFool]

And during my teaching days, a brown corduroy jacket that made me look as though my subject was geography. All I'd have needed to complete that outfit was a pipe.

Did it have leather patches at the elbows?

[bungeejumper]

Did it have leather patches at the elbows?

Hang on a minute, hang on, how did you know? Got it, you were that little bastard Simmons, weren't you? The one in the back row with the musical fart?

BJ

[richfool]

As very young children in the 1950's we had some sort of vests that were hairy, itchy and scratchy, before the cotton ones came out. Horrible to wear.

[kiloran]

When I was 2-3 years old in the early 50s, swimming trunks that my mum had knitted

--kiloran

[Pipsmum]

The really nice natty red and white stripy bikini that I made for myself as a teenager. I was so proud of it, until I made the dive into the swimming pool at a friends party. You can guess. I'd made it out of stretch towelling. We parted company at water impact.

Sheer cringeworthy shame.... After retrieving and rejoining my bikini... I slunk off into the shadows. Not too many people saw me I don't think.

[6Tricia]

A liberty bodice? I was glad of mine in the winter of 1942!!

Tricia

[dionaeamuscipula]

And during my teaching days, a brown corduroy jacket that made me look as though my subject was geography. All I'd have needed to complete that outfit was a pipe.

Did it have leather patches at the elbows?

A friend of mine turned up on BBC Breakfast one morning, they were doing a piece that involved his pupils. I swear (and he doesn't actually deny it) that he deliberately went in "school teacher" fancy dress: the brown jacket, the elbow patches, the lot.

As to the actual topic, I wore straight legged jeans - for which I got roundly ragged by all my flare wearing friends - right up until the very moment that they became fashionable, at which point I switched to flares - for which I got roundly ragged by all my straight leg wearing friends.

DM

[AleisterCrowley]

Brown Farah slacks, in the early 80s
I was going to say big baggy rib-knit black jumpers à la 'Goth'...but I'm still quite fond of them

[XFool]

When I was 2-3 years old in the early 50s, swimming trunks that my mum had knitted

--kiloran

I had something like that. I think my mother cut down my elder sister's old swimming costume to provide me with a pair of rather frilly swimming 'trunks'.

[Rhyd6]

When I was pregnant in the 60s it wasn't done to have your bump om show and I wore maternity dresses which made me look like a ship in full sail.

R6

[stevensfo]

I vaguely remember hating some shirts that I had to wear when I was little and years later, hearing that they'd been made of nylon.

Cold in the winter, and in the summer, they collected the sweat. Horrendous material. Didn't they make jokes about nylon bedsheets?

Cheap but very shiny shoes that were more plastic than leather, and like nylon, made the feet sweat.

My very first suit, with a waistcoat, that had 'totally skint but has an interview' stamped all over it.

Apart from that, a Russian style winter hat that my Dad gave me and which I wore till I met my future wife who threw it away. I still miss that hat. Okay, I looked a plonker but it was so warm. This was when winters were really 'cold', not the mild winters we get now.


Steve

[tjh290633]

I was given some batik shirts when in Indonesia. One was a safari jacket style, to which my daughter had a decided aversion.

TJH

[Itsallaguess]

I have an older brother who could entertain you for days with the horror stories that our parents shamelessly put him through regarding clothing when he was at school...

Ask him how his younger brother felt, getting many of those same clothes as hand-me-downs, years later, and he tends to go a lot quieter....

I'm sure it'll all come out during the inquest...

Itsallaguess

[kiloran]

I have an older brother who could entertain you for days with the horror stories that our parents shamelessly put him through regarding clothing when he was at school...

Ask him how his younger brother felt, getting many of those same clothes as hand-me-downs, years later, and he tends to go a lot quieter....

I'm sure it'll all come out during the inquest...

Itsallaguess

So you can just imagine how my younger sister feels
Thank goodness she's not an older sister!

--kiloran