I should know better...

[LordUhtred]

So, having survived reading "Riotous "Assembly" and my subsequent encounter with the Electrical Interrogation Machine, then followed up with a Quiller novel or two, with consequent painful experiences (all detailed on the old TMF board), I more or less gave up reading novels - mostly from a fast developing sense of self preservation...

However, I discovered a source of free ebooks, and with the eternally ill fated cry of "what harm can it do?", I started to download a number of interesting looking titles. I have no clue about the workings of the link between my reading material and failure of various body parts, but the evidence cannot be denied...

So, jump to last Saturday night/Sunday morning. I'm warm comfortable and sleepy in my bed, no alcohol had been consumed, no possible issues. Except one. My shoulder hurt. No way was I going to sleep through this pain, do up I got to hunt down a couple of Paracetamols. For some unfathomable reason they were on the sofa (oh, all right, my current wife had put them there!), so I bent over to pick them up, and...

Lightning struck my right thigh, up near the hip. At least, that is the best description I can give of the sensation. Not nice, and I went down. Hard. On my right hip. And suddenly I am lying on the floor, unable to stand or even crawl to a chair. And it hurt. A lot.

It seems I am not silent when disaster strikes, so no esoteric means we're needed to inform my current wife that all was not well, and request her assistance. In fact I believe most of the town was woken from its slumber, but no matter. So she goes through the usual rigmarole of allegedly helpful suggestions "Roll over on to your back" - hurts too much. "Pull yourself up on the chair" - I can't even get to the chair, woman!

Having ascertained that the pain isn't going to ease any time soon, and even with my wife's help I'm not going to be able to get up, or even drag myself across the floor, the decision was made to summon help. Out with her mobile phone, and dial 999. How hard can it be? Turns out, harder than you would think. Whatever else she managed to do, it wasn't contact Emergency Services. Suddenly, debugging the technology has become the priority... Five minutes later "Just use the damn house phone" I snarl. "No, I need to sort this out!" Came the response. My reply was something less than considerate and courteous, I'm afraid.

Despite my wife's technological challenges, an ambulance complete with paramedics rocks up. Swift examination, comments of "Ooh, that's not good", and the decision was taken to provide pain relief. Initially a gas/air mixture. Now my first wife swore by this stuff (in fact I am sure the reason she eventually went into midwifery was to get access to the stuff). Which, frankly, by itself vindicates our divorce. The stuff was totally useless - chocolate teapot territory, in fact. The failure to diminish the level of my pitiful whining prompted them to give me something more substantial. Detail becomes a bit blurry from here for some reason... I recall that for some reason they needed to summon another ambulance and crew, and that there was no way their stretcher would fit into the lift (we live in a first floor flat). Next thing I remember is them putting me on what they referred to as a PAT board - half goes in on each side, and it clips together to form a sort of solid stretcher.

They slid me over the floor to the top of the stairs. I noted that the two halves of the board had a gap between them, but frankly carpet burns were not something I was too fussed about by then. Two minutes later I was at the foot of the stairs, being loaded on to the ambulance's trolley. Down the path, up the ramp, and away like a rocket! Err, no. Into the ambulance, and ... Stop. Technology strikes again. I'm on one ambulance, and all my data/details are in the other. Six feet apart. And the inter vehicle systems won't work. Long pause, while Executive Decisions are made and Management Approval obtained. And so, I am off the local A&E. In Two ambulances...

Quite quickly, we are there. I spend the four minute journey apologising to the crew for wasting their time. "Don't worry about it, you are the first genuine emergency we've had tonight" came the response. I am still unsure about that, but experience has taught me not to argue with young ladies around 5 feet tall, who look like slim young schoolgirls - they are invariably stronger, smarter and waaay tougher than me.

A&E was much as expected, complete with obnoxious shouty person abusing the staff, who were unfailingly polite and helpful even under provocation. Eventually, it was my time to be seen, so, off to x-Ray, then a brief chat with the doctor. "I'm afraid I have bad news for you. You have fractured your femur. Badly. Right at the top. The options are:-
leave it to heal by itself. It probably won't. ;
Repair it with pins. 50/50 chance of that working, at best. ;
Replace the ball part of your hip joint. Will work, but the metal ball will erode the bone socket, and you will be back in a couple of years. ;
Full hip replacement - that is what I am recommending.

So, 36 hours after being struck by lightning, I am the possessor of a new hip, and within a week of "the event" I am back home, feeling sorry for myself, and am not terribly mobile. It seems I am going to have plenty of time to read my new ebooks. Question is, do I dare?

[Beerpig]

Really sorry to hear this LordUhtred
Really hope you get mobile again soon.
The thing that concerns me about your post most of all is how easily the whole thing happened.

Keep us posted van you about prognosis?
There are many fools who have had similar operations (or are contemplating them) and it would be helpful to know from someone first hand if all these reports about getting mobile again quickly are actually true.

[LordUhtred]

Thanks for the kind thoughts, Beerpig.

As you may have worked out, I cut the post short because it was getting long and rambling. Oh, you noticed?

The bit I didn'get round to mostly concerns the staff. Every one, without exception, was kind, helpful, skilled and caring. I really can't praise them too much. At all points I was confident that they knew exactly what I was going through, and what was needed to support me.

From a practical point of view, they encouraged me to get up and on my feet very quickly, initially using a Zimmer frame and then on to crutches. My capabilities were monitored by the physios, initially requiring help from 2 members of staff, then one, before only requiring that someone could see what I was up to. Finally I was assessed as independent.

To be honest, I've been home 3 days now, and I still don't feel properly mobile. I am VERY slow, and although I suspect I am at least as steady on my feet as I was before the incident, I don't FEEL it. A lot of that is down to worry - the prospect of another fall terrifies me.

But on the plus side, I'm at home, which does wonders for my morale. Plus I am getting constant support from my incredible wife, nothing seems to be too much trouble for her. Truly I am a lucky, undeserving PITB.

So far, the biggest issue I have is always having to sleep on my back! I would cheerfully sacrifice a neighbour or something two (but NOT my wife) if I could just roll over on to one side and sleep comfortably.

[Dod1010]

As a recipient of two successful hip replacements in the last three years I am in a position to comment (mine were both caused by wear and tear)

The OP should be fairly mobile in another week or so (ie getting about on his own) and in the meantime must get out to walk a little every day with the aid of two sticks at this stage, a little further each day but I would recommend not out of sight of his front door yet. Exercise is the key to success I think, and of course avoiding any bending or stretching for the first six weeks and no attempt to drive. At about four weeks I think I was able to use only one stick but that is not important because the OP will know when it feels comfortable. It is vital to knit the muscles and strengthen them. I was told that that will continue for the first year after the op. After about three months I was walking 3/4 miles daily and have continued that ever since. So time, exercise and following all the instructions to the letter are the keys.

I agree with the sleeping bit. I scarcely slept except in a chair for the first few days and sleeping on one's back is the most uncomfortable bit of all

Dod

[Rhyd6]

Alf, a friend of ours broke his hip three weeks ago and had to have it replaced. He's made a remarkable recovery and toddled into our community coffee morning last Friday on his zimmer frame. Everyone stood up and gave him a big cheer, this is because Alf is 95 and we were worried that the accident might finish him off but glad to say he's made of sterner stuff. Hope you have a successful, swift and pain free recovery.

R6

[LordUhtred]

Just a quick update on progress, for the benefit of anyone likely to need a similar op.

The hand off between the hospital and my local doctor's surgery went through (although it seems the records didn't...). A few phone calls proved necessary to ease the process. However, I have been visited by the nurse, who removed the clips from the wound with no dramas. Mobility is getting better, I am still very slow, but I can walk a bit further each day. I am still frankly terrified of falling, though.

Pain wise, I really can't complain. I have pain killers, but rarely need to use them. The main progress, though is in sleeping position - I can sleep on my side, now, no more spending all night on my back - I cannot stress enough what a boost that simple thing has provided!

So, all in all the whole thing hasn't been too traumatic. I wouldn't want to go through it again, but if you are going to go through it, don't worry - it won't be as bad as think it will.

[didds]

well if you need something to read LU...

viewtopic.php?f=29&t=7346

didds

[LordUhtred]

Eek! I daren't read that, Didds - the medical consequences for my poor mistreated body could be devastating! Experience suggests that my reading materials and injuries are linked in some mysterious way...

Anyway, I don't need any more excuses for hospital appointments. I am currently scheduled for :-
Colonoscopy to screen for bowel cancer (this was actually scheduled for the period I was in hospital, so needs re booking,
Bone density scan (doctor thinks the hip shouldn't have fractured "at my age")
Routine retinopathy screening to see how much my eyes have deteriorated

But it's ok - I've just been made redundant, so I now have plenty of time to attend the appointments!

[brightncheerful]

"what harm can it do?",

I've informed Mrs Bnc of your experience, herself slowly recovering from breaking her toe. To save the cost to the NHS of an ambulance, yours truly whisked her to hospital. (Actually I don't think it crossed Mrs Bnc's mind to dial for an ambulance.) Anyhow, having been informed of your experience, she says she can imagine. Please don't I've said: the art of pre-programming yourself to imagine anything that tempts fate is rarely a good idea!

Wish you well.