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Jaded

A friendly ear
GrandOiseau
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Re: Jaded

#140785

Postby GrandOiseau » May 23rd, 2018, 2:34 pm

The training session thing is probably solvable/liveable. As you say it's run smoothly in the past. People like this lady often stop coming of their own accord as they grow tired of their own incompetence and idiocy. You can off course help the process along :-)

The 'split' in the membership is a bigger concern and more difficult to overcome. No club is without some stresses and strains, not everybody gets on swimmingly, etc. but this sounds like more of a fundamental issue.

Like VRD says I wouldn't burn your bridges (things can change) but yes take a step away, unhinge from the responsibilities and see how things pan out.

melonfool
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Re: Jaded

#143746

Postby melonfool » June 4th, 2018, 8:21 pm

Sorry to have missed this and that you felt low over it all - fwiw I've done a few voluntary roles myself and it takes a lot of stamina to stay in them despite these sorts of things.

A few things do spring to mind though:

1) the club and/or the Leisure Centre should have a properly defined complaints/dispute resolution procedure. That way, no single person will determine the outcome of a complaint and it will be more just.

2) there should be some criteria to move up to 'stage 2'. With skiing, for example, it's usually something simple like 'can stop and do linked turns'. But, whatever it is, it should always be 'and the coach's decision is final'.

3) I'd be inviting the centre manager to come to a session, then he can see how well it runs and why the way you run it usually works.

4) I'd also be telling him the actual problem with her play and saying that as you decided she was not ready and he overruled, that you would like him to come and do a risk assessment of the session before you move her into the full game. H&S is his responsibility so he would presumably need to do this.

5) I agree with RS about the comms/FB/WA groups - it is bullying.

6) you are not selfish nor the sort of person who needs to be centre of attention. I worry a lot that I am like my father. But, as my mother once told me*, I am not like him, nor like her, I am like me. When you mix blue and yellow together you don't get a bit of blue and a bit of yellow - you get green, a totally new thing with its own identity. We are all green.

Anyway - you've made the right decisions. Dude.

Mel

(* I can honestly say it's the only useful thing she has ever said to me)

beeswax
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Re: Jaded

#146345

Postby beeswax » June 17th, 2018, 3:40 pm

I'm a bit late too and sometimes comes down to enjoyment vs aggravation.

Have you tried having a one on one session with the lady on how to play and then both go to the bar and have a drink and chat about it...You know like a Trump/Kim thingy..;)

Its a good idea for the Leisure centre manager to actually come to a game where the lady plays and point out to him why you made the decisions you do..

I think if you could sort out the personality conflict then many things will fall into place and if that doesn't work then at least you have tried.

My friend ran a tennis club and put in a lot of time coaching and funding and arranging stuff and he left because of the personal aggravation he was getting from one or two people who were not much good at tennis either..

I was a member of a golf club for 30 years and the good players always wanted to play early in a morning and I was a single figure handicap didn't want to play before 9am and so had to play with the duffers...and my handicap went up...and just to add that getting some of them to pay their round of drinks when we had four ball matches was nigh impossible, which is another topic!

ATB whatever you decide...I was more interested in your electricity first fix actually...;)

csearle
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Re: Jaded

#147021

Postby csearle » June 20th, 2018, 10:35 pm

beeswax wrote:Have you tried having a one on one session with the lady on how to play and then both go to the bar and have a drink and chat about it...You know like a Trump/Kim thingy..;)
Unfortunately the season is over. I'm still doing outside volleyball privately but the lady and even more unfortunately her keen and talented daughter have not made the transition.

beeswax wrote:Its a good idea for the Leisure centre manager to actually come to a game where the lady plays and point out to him why you made the decisions you do..
He didn't feel it was necessary to gain an insight into the multiple objectives of a coach in my position.

beeswax wrote:I think if you could sort out the personality conflict then many things will fall into place and if that doesn't work then at least you have tried.
Actually I didn't have an awful lot of conflict with the lady. I just explained to her why we limit the attendance during the second hour. She then made her complaint to the sports center but continued to attend and communicate in a normal way with me.

beeswax wrote:ATB whatever you decide...I was more interested in your electricity first fix actually...;)
Thanks. There is little of interest to be had in electrical first fixing unless you like the thrill of the chase.

Chris

didds
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Re: Jaded

#147087

Postby didds » June 21st, 2018, 10:05 am

Just caufht up with this.

TBH, You have made the right decision to quit coaching and the treasurer's role Chris, in my opinion. From what i can see/read there are various untenable situations occurring that are all building inninetensity

* the clear split in club demographics
* ineffective comms as a direct result
* the historical LS/club training session mix
* the resultant undermining of control

Enjoy your time as you see fit - at lest for some while. I suspect that in time many of this issues will resolve themselves... the woman will leave, the cliques will disperse as others leave or get kicked out of the clique (!), the committee will change, the relationship with the LS will also change.

All I'll add to this is that while this doesn;t make it right, in the two team sports I played most in my life (rugby and cricket) whilst players are welcoming of new comers of course, by the same token they generally don;t take prima donna type activities espoecially when the lack of ability to li9sten to "advice" is ignored... usually a fast bowler appears, or the miscreant is sent to far flung fielding positions ever over, or big tackles arrive etc, pour encorager etc etc etc... Volleyball players are obviously far nicer people generally :-) [ a few smashes coming her way maight help? ]

didds


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