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Old

A friendly ear
didds
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Old

#199352

Postby didds » February 6th, 2019, 4:45 pm

I've been a flat for a while recently. Then this struck me...

I’ve come to the conclusion in an almost “blinding flash of inspiration” what being old “is”.

Being “Old” is not necessarily a number. It’s a state of mind, a place in society, a position of knowledge. You can be 22 and old. You can be 90 and not old. You can be old at one stage of your life and possibly decades later no longer old. And yes – being old does include being of a certain age. Sometimes.

Being old I think means being worn down by life, experience, circumstances. I can't speak from the perspective of those forced from their environment taking on new scenarios and learning to cope with that, but I suspect one may become “old” through that experience.

So what do I mean by “old” ? Maybe its just feeling weary. Becoming cynical based on experiences whereby one cannot change anything, but cannot escape the outcomes that appear – to you – being pointless, ridiculous, unfeasible. Being old can mean responsibilities creating pressures (probably self-imposed of course) one can't solve – being a parent, or a child of a parent perhaps. Being old maybe being worn down by the daily grind – one’s job, one’s financial position, one’s routine that one can't alter.

Being old can be a number – and age whereby things don’t “work“ any longer – knees, hips, ears, eyes, brain… or society no longer makes sense and one is unable to find solutions the way one used to. This may typically come at the very end of one’s life. But the end of that life may be aged 30 as much as aged 90. It may not be the end of life either – the breakdown of faculties may still leave one living for decades, being old for decades.

And yes, one could be old – and then not be. If one’s “old” is because of pressures, if those pressures disappear… one may no longer feel old. One could be old for decades and at the end of one’s life no longer be old. The parent needing support that passes on, relieving that onus; the child with poor life choices finally moving on lifting the worry.

Old is a general feeling. Not just a number.

I am old.

(c) Ian Diddams 2019

Itsallaguess
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Re: Old

#199372

Postby Itsallaguess » February 6th, 2019, 6:29 pm

didds wrote:
I am old.


I always find that getting older, whilst having some disadvantages, is still a great deal better than the alternative....

Cheers,

Itsallaguess

Imbiber
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Re: Old

#199376

Postby Imbiber » February 6th, 2019, 6:45 pm

I define old ( through experience) when your children stop asking you for advice and you start asking them.

Snorvey
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Re: Old

#199380

Postby Snorvey » February 6th, 2019, 6:54 pm

I'm going to use the B word here, or perhaps for us North of the border, the R word.

Brexit. Referendums.

Referendums have made us all weary I think. And like the poll tax, us Jocks got a double dose of the weariness.

7 years we've had of this now. I'm going to live in a lovely benign dictatorship somewhere. Somewhere where those paid to do so, make the big decisions instead of passing the buck.

ten0rman
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Re: Old

#199406

Postby ten0rman » February 6th, 2019, 9:06 pm

Hi Didds,

I like it. A lot of what you say certainly resonates with me - the parts that don't work, the parts that hurt, that floor that's getting further away, the pettyfogging rules designed to make you safe but simply make life more and more difficult. Etc.

The fact that everything seems to take longer, whilst at the same time, time passes faster & faster, eg is it bin day again? Thinking about things that happened recently, or maybe not, only to realise that it was half a century ago!

Discovering that the attractive young lady you were too shy to talk to has departed this mortal coil. Colleagues and friends you respected have gone or are falling off their perches at a great rate.

And so on.

Does it make you cynical? I think it does, especially when you look back and think, "well we managed ok without that".

One final thought. I remember my grandparents, well just about for three of them. I've also got four grandchildren. That's five generations I know (or knew)!

How does it go? Nil Bastardum Carborundum.

ten0rman

AleisterCrowley
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Re: Old

#199431

Postby AleisterCrowley » February 6th, 2019, 10:31 pm

hmm- for me these are (were?) the signs;
Time passing so quickly ("Christmas again? I'm sure it was Christmas about three months ago")
Aches and pains accumulating, rather than coming and going
Hangovers that last until the day after the day after...
Realising that the road ahead is almost certainly shorter than the road behind
A world weary cynicism, when you realise nothing will change, ever
Young people's 'music' sounding like metal bins kicked down a flight of stairs
Genuinely enjoying birdwatching, historic churches, the countryside
Discussing pensions with your mates down the pub

:)

Watis
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Re: Old

#199485

Postby Watis » February 7th, 2019, 8:52 am

I decided many years ago that I would know that I had reached 'middle age' when I began to enjoy gardening.

Well, I hate gardening more than ever. So, in my mind, I'm still young!

Watis

didds
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Re: Old

#199493

Postby didds » February 7th, 2019, 9:26 am

AleisterCrowley wrote:hmm- for me these are (were?) the signs;
Time passing so quickly ("Christmas again? I'm sure it was Christmas about three months ago")
Aches and pains accumulating, rather than coming and going
Hangovers that last until the day after the day after...
Realising that the road ahead is almost certainly shorter than the road behind
A world weary cynicism, when you realise nothing will change, ever
Young people's 'music' sounding like metal bins kicked down a flight of stairs
Genuinely enjoying birdwatching, historic churches, the countryside
Discussing pensions with your mates down the pub

:)



OMG!!


I _AM_ OLD!

orchard101
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Re: Old

#199629

Postby orchard101 » February 7th, 2019, 4:09 pm

None of the above :evil:

Being old means that above the neck you are still 21, below the neck feels like 101 :roll:

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Re: Old

#199640

Postby Clariman » February 7th, 2019, 4:33 pm

Well age carries on relentless, but how we deal with it is up to us. I don't pretend to have any answers but did go back to university after I retired early. It hasn't made me any younger, but I have enjoyed meeting people of all ages (mostly young) and from all over the world. When I was at Uni first time round, everyone was from the UK.

One point where I felt my position shifted in the 7 ages of man, was when I lost my last surviving parent and then became a grandparent 15 months later. In a short space of time I was no longer the middle generation of 3, but the oldest of 3.

I definitely feel more tired even though I'm still in my 50s. Late afternoon I could just crash out on the sofa if I let myself. Is that a common thing?

C

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Re: Old

#199641

Postby brightncheerful » February 7th, 2019, 4:35 pm

When I was at school, in a psychology class we did a test to ascertain our mental age. I was 16 at the time, my mental age was 30. 'Old' before my time - at 16, anyone over the age of 25 is old - I decided the way to stay young would be to update my attitude every 6 months or so.

I don't remember when i stopped doing so but I realised I wasn't when a couple of years ago I heard myself saying to someone "you young people…". Ye g*ds, I thought to myself: has it come to this?

In an attempt to redress the balance I visited TED. Thanks to which I now know that LOL is so old-fashioned.

brightncheerful
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Re: Old

#199642

Postby brightncheerful » February 7th, 2019, 4:38 pm

I definitely feel more tired even though I'm still in my 50s. Late afternoon I could just crash out on the sofa if I let myself. Is that a common thing?


Don't know if it's a common thing, but to me sounds like an imbalance in daily diet. That and not being physically fit enough to get through the day.

Watis
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Re: Old

#199650

Postby Watis » February 7th, 2019, 5:01 pm

orchard101 wrote:None of the above :evil:

Being old means that above the neck you are still 21, below the neck feels like 101 :roll:



I seem to have a mental age of 13½

Don't most men? :)

Watis

kempiejon
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Re: Old

#199651

Postby kempiejon » February 7th, 2019, 5:18 pm

Clariman wrote:
I definitely feel more tired even though I'm still in my 50s. Late afternoon I could just crash out on the sofa if I let myself. Is that a common thing?
C


I have enjoyed an afternoon nap all my life. If I've got no activities in the afternoon, following lunch and settling into to a distraction on television or a book, the internet and I can feel a doze coming on. That's not changed with my age. I remember as a youth thinking that old people used to get up very early, to go and collect the papers before us paperboys had started their round.

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Re: Old

#199722

Postby Lootman » February 7th, 2019, 9:22 pm

kempiejon wrote:
Clariman wrote:I definitely feel more tired even though I'm still in my 50s. Late afternoon I could just crash out on the sofa if I let myself. Is that a common thing?

I have enjoyed an afternoon nap all my life. If I've got no activities in the afternoon, following lunch and settling into to a distraction on television or a book, the internet and I can feel a doze coming on. That's not changed with my age. I remember as a youth thinking that old people used to get up very early, to go and collect the papers before us paperboys had started their round.

Indeed. When I was 20 I never got up before 12 noon. Now I typically wake up and get up at 5 a.m. Sometimes I am getting up just when my children are going to bed.

But the thing is that I still like to stay up late at night. The only solution is an afternoon nap. Essentially each 24 hour period involves two sleeps and two periods of awakening.

One other thought on ageing. When my father turned 60 I asked him how he felt, and he replied that he felt a sense of achievement. I didn't really understand what he meant at the time but, upon turning 60 myself, I realised.

For a start, you made it. A good half dozen of my friends have not. Secondly a good part of feeling contentment in life at that age is a sense that you made more good decisions than bad ones. So if you are in good health, are financially secure, your wife didn't run off with the milkman and your kids turned out well, then you're already well on the way to feeling good about yourself.

Each birthday becomes a celebration of a life well lived.

AleisterCrowley
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Re: Old

#199752

Postby AleisterCrowley » February 7th, 2019, 10:52 pm

But the thing is that I still like to stay up late at night. The only solution is an afternoon nap. Essentially each 24 hour period involves two sleeps and two periods of awakening.

I recall reading somewhere that 'two sleeps' were normal(ish) behaviour pre 18th century - biphasic sleep ?
Four hours asleep , up for two or three, then another four hours- both during the night though.

I find i'm getting drowsy mid-afternoon, even though I don't have a large lunch (or beer), I think the old biorhythms have a dip around 3am and 3pm...

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Re: Old

#199790

Postby stevensfo » February 8th, 2019, 7:39 am

ten0rman wrote:Hi Didds,

The fact that everything seems to take longer, whilst at the same time, time passes faster & faster, eg is it bin day again? Thinking about things that happened recently, or maybe not, only to realise that it was half a century ago!

Discovering that the attractive young lady you were too shy to talk to has departed this mortal coil. Colleagues and friends you respected have gone or are falling off their perches at a great rate.

How does it go? Nil Bastardum Carborundum.

ten0rman


What really brings it home to me is that damned facebook thingy! Over the last year or so, I've found people I haven't seen since school. One guy remember him well, all of us escaping the teacher during a sixth form field trip, running down the road and seeing if we could get a crafty pint from the pub (we couldn't), a bright girl who wanted to study medicine (she ended up working for Boots) who was steadily making her way through all the boys in the sixth form but who never quite made it to me :evil: and another person - close friend at the time who wanted to be a vet (became an office clerk in a dairy firm). I was only able to recognise one of them from their photos. Weird the way the brain stores the information; it seems like last year, not 40 years!

Another important factor is nostalgia. I'm cursed with being nostalgic and often think about the past. My wife is totally the opposite and is not nostalgic in the slightest. She says that the past is done and no point in thinking about it, best look forward. I wish I could be more like that!

Steve

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Re: Old

#200009

Postby XFool » February 8th, 2019, 6:32 pm

Last Christmas somebody gave me a book: 'You're not old, you're just not that young'

Umm...

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Re: Old

#200209

Postby Snorvey » February 9th, 2019, 9:29 pm

When you wake in the morning, open your eyes, look around the room and say......

oh not this again.

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Re: Old

#200265

Postby Sussexlad » February 10th, 2019, 10:02 am

There are several tell-tale signs but the latest is the acceptance that after struggling with my extension ladder, to erect a security camera on the rear of my house and now suffering the resultant aches and pains, that that will by my final ever DIY job of that nature ! :-( I had a reminder some months ago though, when out walking a country track, a group of nursery children passed by. 'Look at the old man' said a cheeky 4/5 year-old lad. His teacher mildly scolded him, which I guess was the correct thing to do but I did say 'Don't be too harsh, he's only telling the truth !'


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