Chin out ... chin up
Posted: November 19th, 2021, 11:46 pm
The last two weeks have been difficult. Not just for me, but my close family.
Our family is divided into three groups. The locals, those who live 35 minutes away, and those who live in Australia.
Mum continues to decline. I have found myself at odds with all of those who provide for her care. When we were told that Mum's cancer was terminal and the prognosis was 3-12 weeks I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Perhaps that was a good place to start.
We are now in week 9 of Mum's prognosis and for the most it seems to be a reasonably accurate assessment. She is declining and whilst that's to be expected what I wasn't prepared for was the brutality that I was about to be exposed to. After her initial prognosis we moved Mum home. It was her wish to go home.
She was at home for roughly two weeks when she fell and had to return to hospital.
She was discharged from hospital into a care home as carers could not be arranged to look after her at home. I've sent two complaints to the home to date and they continue to respond with appeasement, deflection and twaddle. Ironically Mum is in the most expensive care home in our town.
I've been swamped with forms to complete. Contracts to sign to underwrite the Care Home (don't worry I'm not daft enough to sign it) calls to take from different budget managers for Mum's funding costs and issues with Mum's care within the home.
I have one sibling who has resided in Australia for 33 years and has only really contacted Mum when she needed money. As per Mum's express wishes I've invoked my power of attorney and informed that when she returns to the UK to visit Mum she is not to reside at or visit Mum's home.
I'm trying to support Mum. Most of Mum has now already departed. I've had to complain in writing to her care home to get Mum's GP to attend. Her steroid medication has been increased and she now has anti-biotic eye drops for her left eye. I've visited her today and she has been in some pain. I've asked Mum's new care manager to monitor this. Mum's previous care manager left the business the day after I sent my written complaint. She was on a months notice. And it was evident to me and my good lady that she wasn't listening to a word we said during her notice period.
It's been an eye opener. It's been tough. The entire process isn't slick, refined or fit for purpose.
Mum's life is coming to an end. This week I received a pm from another Fool. It wasn't expected. But it was kind and it lifted my spirits.
My Mum brought me into this world. I can, at the very least, see her out. I've had to take on an avalanche of procedure, bullshit, job creation, salary protection, general ineptitude and a plethora or shyte that has been beyond anything I could have imagined.
I've stuck my chin out and I am feeling the pain of the incoming blows. But my chin is also up. I'm trying to remain focused upon my Mum's needs and her comfort. The rest is none of my business. I don't have time to join in with the games that have been established around the passing of my/our terminally ill Mum.
Thanks for listening
AiY
Our family is divided into three groups. The locals, those who live 35 minutes away, and those who live in Australia.
Mum continues to decline. I have found myself at odds with all of those who provide for her care. When we were told that Mum's cancer was terminal and the prognosis was 3-12 weeks I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Perhaps that was a good place to start.
We are now in week 9 of Mum's prognosis and for the most it seems to be a reasonably accurate assessment. She is declining and whilst that's to be expected what I wasn't prepared for was the brutality that I was about to be exposed to. After her initial prognosis we moved Mum home. It was her wish to go home.
She was at home for roughly two weeks when she fell and had to return to hospital.
She was discharged from hospital into a care home as carers could not be arranged to look after her at home. I've sent two complaints to the home to date and they continue to respond with appeasement, deflection and twaddle. Ironically Mum is in the most expensive care home in our town.
I've been swamped with forms to complete. Contracts to sign to underwrite the Care Home (don't worry I'm not daft enough to sign it) calls to take from different budget managers for Mum's funding costs and issues with Mum's care within the home.
I have one sibling who has resided in Australia for 33 years and has only really contacted Mum when she needed money. As per Mum's express wishes I've invoked my power of attorney and informed that when she returns to the UK to visit Mum she is not to reside at or visit Mum's home.
I'm trying to support Mum. Most of Mum has now already departed. I've had to complain in writing to her care home to get Mum's GP to attend. Her steroid medication has been increased and she now has anti-biotic eye drops for her left eye. I've visited her today and she has been in some pain. I've asked Mum's new care manager to monitor this. Mum's previous care manager left the business the day after I sent my written complaint. She was on a months notice. And it was evident to me and my good lady that she wasn't listening to a word we said during her notice period.
It's been an eye opener. It's been tough. The entire process isn't slick, refined or fit for purpose.
Mum's life is coming to an end. This week I received a pm from another Fool. It wasn't expected. But it was kind and it lifted my spirits.
My Mum brought me into this world. I can, at the very least, see her out. I've had to take on an avalanche of procedure, bullshit, job creation, salary protection, general ineptitude and a plethora or shyte that has been beyond anything I could have imagined.
I've stuck my chin out and I am feeling the pain of the incoming blows. But my chin is also up. I'm trying to remain focused upon my Mum's needs and her comfort. The rest is none of my business. I don't have time to join in with the games that have been established around the passing of my/our terminally ill Mum.
Thanks for listening
AiY