#56520
Postby superFoolish » May 29th, 2017, 3:52 am
This is not an unusual occurrence in families. My son's biological father took about £2K out of son's trust account (it was birthday money & gifts from birth to age 15. Technically, the grandmother (biological father's side) stole the money, but she gave it to the father. It was a simple building society account held in trust with her as trustee, which is a common way of doing things (at least, it used to be).
Solicitor advised:
a) legal costs would wipe out any recovery of £s (which was unlikely).
b) We were moving abroad and the case couldn't be held in our absence (at least, we wouldn't succeed in our absence).
That was 7 years ago. Forgotten about now (to the extent that I am not sure about the £s involved), and the biological father and grandmother are 'paying' far more than the money that they stole. Son is now 21, a marvellous, respectful and respected young man, with a very healthy sum in his savings (a good 5 figures), all earned by himself, working part time, and paying his own university fees (living FOC at home with us, and receiving contributions from us, for books, etc). He's already made more of his life than his biological father has, and has no psychological issues.
Some people are just scum; they might think they are getting away with it, but their loss is far greater than the value of money.
Experience shows that, in the vast majority of these cases, the money is forgotten about fairly quickly, but the perpetrator suffers indefinitely.
The same man held my (now) wife to ransom over the sale of their flat when they divorced; she ended up giving him a share far over the odds to get rid of the problem (a five figure sum). Guess what? He's spent it all, and has nothing to his name. Presumably, he's waiting for his mother to die, so he can inherit her house, but he's got a surprise coming there, because his sister has been bailed out (financially), so many times, that there's nothing left.
I haven't written the above with any glee; I'd much rather events had been less unpleasant. My point is that this type of person rarely get's away with anything, as such; they typically lead miserable lives.
Unless huge sums are involved, or there is a very good chance of recovering life-changing amounts of money (which may be appear small to us; it's all relative), it's best to move on, and forget about it. The time and stress aren't worth it; see the person for what they are, and let them wallow in their own misery.