Know your dashboard warning lights - quick quiz

[bungeejumper]

This quick but slightly alarming quiz has been doing the rounds recently. Alarming because apparently the average respondent gets fewer than half of the 32 questions right.

https://www.group1auto.co.uk/dashboard-doubts

You get ten minutes to answer the 32 multiple-choice questions. I needed four minutes to score 29, which I think was a fair result considering that several of the warnings lights aren't on my car. ("Keys not in car" and so forth. But hey, that's enough spoilers. )

So how did it go for you? Anything you disagree with?

BJ

[mc2fool]

Well I got 22 and I haven't owned a car since 1996 and haven't driven one since 1999. The ten I got wrong were all ones I'm sure I've never seen before (what is "Engine Management"?!? No, don't tell me, I'm not really interested!)

[bungeejumper]

(what is "Engine Management"?!? No, don't tell me, I'm not really interested!)

Spoilsport. But it would be a pity not to tell you anyway. The engine management light (known in our household as the Yellow Submarine) tells you that some weird, obscure part of your complex extended electrical system has recorded a momentary fault that the manufacturer couldn't be [expletive deleted] to assign a warning lamp of its own. Indeed, there wouldn't be enough real estate on your dash to cover them all if it did.

Examples of this fine multi-tasking instrument that I've had since 2000:

1) Your exhaust emissions are outside the legal limits. Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

2) Your fuel injectors are on the blink, and you're in limp mode. Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

3) Something has screwed your onboard computer settings, and the whole thing needs a reboot.Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

4) Your electronic brake has jammed. Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

5) You've been driving up a mountain, haven't you? And now your atmospheric metrics are all wrong and your air/fuel mix is all to buggery. (Seen on a 200 series Rover, on the way up to Andorra.) Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

6) Sod it, It's a wet thursday, and I'm bored. Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

Needless to say, ignoring any of the above will invalidate your warranty, and your garage will laugh at you, and so will all your friends. Happy motoring from all the boys at Yellow Submarine.

BJ

[mc2fool]

(what is "Engine Management"?!? No, don't tell me, I'm not really interested!)

Spoilsport. But it would be a pity not to tell you anyway. The engine management light (known in our household as the Yellow Submarine) tells you that some weird, obscure part of your complex extended electrical system has recorded a momentary fault that the manufacturer couldn't be [expletive deleted] to assign a warning lamp of its own. Indeed, there wouldn't be enough real estate on your dash to cover them all if it did.

Examples of this fine multi-tasking instrument that I've had since 2000:

1) Your exhaust emissions are outside the legal limits. Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

2) Your fuel injectors are on the blink, and you're in limp mode. Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

3) Something has screwed your onboard computer settings, and the whole thing needs a reboot.Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

4) Your electronic brake has jammed. Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

5) You've been driving up a mountain, haven't you? And now your atmospheric metrics are all wrong and your air/fuel mix is all to buggery. (Seen on a 200 series Rover, on the way up to Andorra.) Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

6) Sod it, It's a wet thursday, and I'm bored. Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

Needless to say, ignoring any of the above will invalidate your warranty, and your garage will laugh at you, and so will all your friends. Happy motoring from all the boys at Yellow Submarine.

BJ

Onboard computer? Electronic brake? Atmospheric metrics?

My last car was a Mk 2 Golf. My last three actually: the 1st was nicked and found in a river some days later and the 2nd was wiped out just 10 days after I bought it by a drunk careering blindly round a bend on the wrong side of the road. Luckily nobody was hurt but both cars were write-offs.

[bungeejumper]

and the 2nd was wiped out just 10 days after I bought it by a drunk careering blindly round a bend on the wrong side of the road. Luckily nobody was hurt but both cars were write-offs.

Damn, I forgot that one.These days there's a dashboard light for Oncoming Drunk, and another one for Upside Down in a River. I nearly needed both at once when encountering a French fire engine on a twisting road along the banks of the Dordogne

BJ

[Laughton]

"Engine Management" - ah yes, reminds me of when I was driving from Brighton to Birmingham and got really worried when that flashed up on the dashboard. Pulled into next services and phoned service manager at my local MB dealership to be told - "oh don't worry, you can carry on with your journey and back again. Just bring it in when you're next passing".

[swill453]

So how did it go for you? Anything you disagree with?

It says it is a "generic overview of the dashboard symbols that can appear in vehicles", but it just seems a random selection that could be impossible to get right.

For example.

Q1 - the meaning of that symbol on my car is not the one given as correct, it's one of the other answers.

Q9 & Q12 have exactly the same symbol, but different answers.

Scott.

[stevensfo]

(what is "Engine Management"?!? No, don't tell me, I'm not really interested!)

Spoilsport. But it would be a pity not to tell you anyway. The engine management light (known in our household as the Yellow Submarine) tells you that some weird, obscure part of your complex extended electrical system has recorded a momentary fault that the manufacturer couldn't be [expletive deleted] to assign a warning lamp of its own. Indeed, there wouldn't be enough real estate on your dash to cover them all if it did.

Examples of this fine multi-tasking instrument that I've had since 2000:

1) Your exhaust emissions are outside the legal limits. Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

2) Your fuel injectors are on the blink, and you're in limp mode. Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

3) Something has screwed your onboard computer settings, and the whole thing needs a reboot.Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

4) Your electronic brake has jammed. Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

5) You've been driving up a mountain, haven't you? And now your atmospheric metrics are all wrong and your air/fuel mix is all to buggery. (Seen on a 200 series Rover, on the way up to Andorra.) Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

6) Sod it, It's a wet thursday, and I'm bored. Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

Needless to say, ignoring any of the above will invalidate your warranty, and your garage will laugh at you, and so will all your friends. Happy motoring from all the boys at Yellow Submarine.

BJ

Turn off the ignition and restart the car.

Very true! Approx every few months, my dashboard goes crazy, with all the warning messages flashing and telling me that there's a general fault, the brakes are faulty, ABS system is off, airbags are faulty and to stop immediately. Also, the electric windows won't work. However, the car feels fine and drives perfectly.

The garage hasn't a clue! The only thing that works is either wait 10 minutes for it all to disappear or stop and start the engine.

Reminds of the time I had an Apple Mac!

Steve

[88V8]

This quick but slightly alarming quiz has been doing the rounds recently. Alarming because apparently the average respondent gets fewer than half of the 32 questions right.

Ha! Is there a prize for getting near all of them wrong?
One of our cars has just one light, it's red, and means no charge.
The other car has two lights but they're labelled, one says Generator and the other OIl but that only works during the summer.

V8

[MonsterMork]

<rant mode activated>

Oh don't get me started. Really boils my widdle when there is a warning lamp on the dash for which the driver has no blimmin' clue wot it means, but there is also a handy message telling them exactly wot it actually does mean yet they still ignore the blessed thing

No washer fluid? MoT fail. But the lamp (on a few cars) and message have been ignored and the car driven for goodness knows how long in this state.

Submarine lamp? (like it, btw!). MoT fail. Ditto.

Bulb failure? MoT fail as there is a failed bulb (fail is not for the dash lamp, but the actual lamp itself)

TPMS warning lamp? Good one this, not a fail in and of itself unless it is in red and indicating a TPMS system failure. In yellow it means you have low tyre pressure. Probably been like that since the last MoT a year ago, just merrily burning its way out of the dash. And waiting to grass you up to the plod when your cornering goes awry because of your flat tyre and you take out a bus queue.

Dashboard lamps are there for a reason. Learn wot they mean and deal with the issues they are telling you about. It ain't rocket science.

</rant>

MoTMork (yes, I have had some proper poo on my ramp recently, hence engaging rant mode!)

[Gersemi]

22 out of 32.

[tjh290633]

28/32

Maybe the odd hint from answers here.

TJH

[DrFfybes]

The Maserati didnt have warning lights, merely a string of pound signs.

The number that came on indicated the size of the repair bill.

[doug2500]

30 but tbh I've not seen most of them and guessed a couple, it wasn't the standard old lights I expected.

No. 1 fooled me and I'm not convinced they're right.

[dealtn]

Dashboard lamps are there for a reason. Learn wot they mean and deal with the issues they are telling you about. It ain't rocket science.

When will manufacturers install a dashboard warning lamp for "faulty sensor" indicating a false dashboard warning lamp on? I currently have 3, arriving over a period of 5 years, and all checked by a garage and several subsequent MOT passes.

[didds]

25/32.

TBH I'm amazed I got that many - it didn't feel like it. There must have been 2/3rds of those Ive never seen before, either because the most ,modern vehicle I've driven thus far is a 2012 diesel and some of those warnings are "since" that time for more modern vehicles, or allude to facilities that I've never ever had in a vehicle ("EPC" I think was one). I reckon half of what I did get was guessing.

Of course one has an owners manual to learn this stuff from - but then again pre-used vehicles that have been through two or three previous owners dont I have found always have a manual by that stage ie its been lost.

[9873210]

Badly designed interfaces and badly designed quiz.

The important question is not "what is the lamp called?" but "what are you supposed to do about it?".

At least one car I drove had two versions of the "check engine" lamp (question 1). The orange one meant service was needed at my earliest convenience. The red one meant pull over right now and get towed.

For error conditions there should only be a few lamps with various degrees of urgency, and a text interface that displays a paragraph or two that can be viewed on a screen (or a phone via bluetooth) once the car is parked. Language is a great invention, icons suck.