Strictly - Scoring Starts

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Catching up with Strictly now, so should be up to date before tonight's show.

Before Strictly, there’s a special Pointless Strictly edition where the dancers demonstrate their utter lack of general knowledge.

Here’s where the proper Strictly starts, with a dance routine in high-heels amongst the cobbles of Somerset House with not a soul about, so presumably it was done about 5am. As is traditional, Tess has a one-shoulder dress while Claudia is in black. Darcey has some Xmas decorations for earrings and Craig is sporting a velveteen jacket.

Danny & Amy (Foxtrot). Danny’s Red Dwarf character wore bright pink, Danny turns up for training wearing pink leathers on a pink motorbike, and for the dance he’s wearing a pink suit with a leopardskin print shirt. Surely the tune must be Pink Panther? No, it’s Top Cat. Danny moves like the dancer he is and it’s an entertaining start. Craig notes it was more like an American Smooth and Danny is told he’s sprightly for his age. He’s not bad for a 70-year old. But then they say he’s 58. 58?? In dog-years? Crikey, he must have had a hard life and a paper round. Scores of 6,7,7,7 put Danny right at the top of the leaderboard.

Kate & Aljaz (Cha-cha). Newsreader Kate has a pretend news desk (a la Rippon) for her routine, and she’s giving it plenty of attitude and having a real go, though she’s not perhaps the most light-footed. Craig says she was stomping about with no flair, which is kind of true, but a tad mean as she did perform well. 4,6,4,6 for a slightly harsh 20 points.

Lauren & AJ (Waltz). AJ is a bit miffed than Lauren is missing training just to go off to Australia and win some gold medals, which is all very inconvenient for him. Lauren does a nice routine which is surprisingly graceful and sweet, so judges are happy. 6,6,6,7 for 25 points.
Well, this is all a bit dull so far with our celebs being vaguely competent. Where’s the fun in that?

Seann & Katya (Tango). They’re dancing to “Sexyback” (Katya’s back not Seann’s) and this is the most entertaining routine so far, mainly because it’s not clear whether or not Seann is playing this for laughs, while Katya is striking some great poses. Good choreography with Katya to give Seann some “bodyguard” moves. Seann has splayed hands which Craig won’t like. Shirley says she’ll have to deduct points (surely, just one point?) for an illegal lift at the end, and Katya rightly points out it was a chuck, not a lift. Shirley then advises Seann to tidy himself up, and though he comes back with a crack about thinking judges would be commenting just on the dance, he’s a bit shaken. He clearly thinks his nose-ring and tousled hair is an irresistible look, and starts nervously chewing at his nails after Shirley’s comment – he’s rattled and I feel a bit sorry for him. 3,5,4,6 for 18.

Vick & Graziano (Jive). These two are probably the biggest combination of self-love ever seen on Strictly. They appear to have both showered in oil before starting their routine. Vick has a few poses, but her kicks and flicks are half-hearted and a bit lazy. Brightest thing about this routine is her lime-green costume. Not good for a young ‘un. Graziano is a younger, sweatier version of Brendan, with his weird spidery moves. Craig tells it like it is, laboured and messy and says it seemed to be all about Graziano. 3,5,4,6 for 18. Vick could be on her way out early doors if she doesn’t improve.

Susannah & Anton (Samba). Amusing VT stuff from Anton about Susannah being a touring dancer before being called into the Royal Ballet. She looks completely out of her depth in training. Anton goes all-out with the comedy, orange ruffles and pineapple hats, and Susannah tries some samba steps, but really isn’t very good. You get the feeling Anton prefers her to be bad for extra comedy value. We need Len to say “Look, you came out, gave it a go, better luck next week” but Bruno and Craig both pour scorn on her performance without a single positive comment before Darcey provides a bit of humanity by saying something nice, and Darcey mentions to Anton that teaching Susannah a few dance steps might be a good idea. Scores 1 (really Craig?),4,3,4 give 12 for Susannah. Anton says they’re on a Journey, but probably not a long one.

Charles & Karen (Cha-cha). VT shows Charles leching at another dancer at the launch show, before turning to camera and saying “I’m ready. But are YOU ready for me?”. Probably not, if I’m honest. However, he performs his routine well, seems to be having fun, and also he’s looking at Karen not just at the camera. I enjoyed that and quite warmed to Charles after his performance. Darcey tries to say he’s got a natural sense of rhythm without actually using those exact words. Shirley rightly points out it was more disco than cha-cha. 6,6,6,7 for 25 points.

Ashley & Pasha (Viennese Waltz). For training, Ashley turns up dressed at Britney Spears and shows Pasha a few of her Pussycat Doll moves, which apparently aren’t suitable for the Viennese Waltz. Amusingly, dancer Ashley tells us that ballroom dancing is so out of her comfort zone. She also says it’s so complex and so great, and so I think “so” may be Ashley favourite word. So, onto the routine. I expect dullness from a waltz, which we get, but it’s surprisingly ordinary for a trained dancer – Lauren looked better than Ashley. Darcey tells her she’s stiff about her frame and needs to loosen her lats to unleashed her chi to augment her aura, or something, and Ashley looks surprised by this, but then, Ashley looks surprised by everything. 7,8,7,7 for 27 points.

Dr.Ranj and Janette (Cha-Cha). Ranj looks good despite the canary yellow outfit and has lots of energy, they’re both likeable and this looks a promising partnership. Shirley stands up to applaud them at the end and praises his syncopated Cuban breaks. Would be great if Janette could win the Glitterball. 6,6,8,7 for 27 points.

Katie & Gorka (Waltz). Katie looks terrified, and her dance is stiff and awkward. Judges say nice things about nerves getting the better of her. 4,4,4,5 – 17 points.

Graeme & Oti (Samba). Big shock as for the first time in many years, a “comedy” VT is actually funny. Graeme takes Oti to show her what this “cricket” is of which he speaks, introduces her to his teammates and she immediately starts happily belting the ball all around the ground, resulting in a bowler storming off in a pretend huff. OK, maybe not that funny, but comedy gold compared to the usual pathetic VTs. Oti does a samba, and Graeme does whatever he’s doing, combined with irritating facial expressions. 5,6,6,5 for 22 points.

Stacey & Kevin (Quickstep). Stacey looks fairly competent and could go far. 6,6,6,6 for 24 points.

Lee & Nadja (Waltz). Lee is starting to remind me of a young Kenneth Williams with all his mugging. This routine is all a bit stagey and posed, while Lee doesn’t seem to have good timing. The routine is “too lustful” for Darcey. Shirley talks about him being a musician and Lee looks confused as to who she’s talking about. 4,6,6,6 for 22 points.

Joe & Dianne (Jive). In training, we find out that Joe is known for his internet pranks. How delightful. He pranks Dianne by having a load of cardboard boxes in the training room, and she has to guess which one contains Joe. Oh, my aching sides. Stop it, please. He’s a bit of a surprise on the dance floor, and produces a snappy jive with a lot more energy than Vick gave in her earlier jive. Judges ladle on the praise for all the world as if they’ve been told to keep Joe in to capture the youth viewer vote, and overmark him with 6,7,7,7 for 27 points.

Faye & Giovanni (Cha-cha). Faye is from “Steps” so we get all the “Tragedy” references out of the way early. She’s likeable and is a good performer, giving us a lively cha-cha. Just possible it wasn't her first ever dance. Judges are happy scoring 7,8,7,7 for a score of 29.

And that’s all of them. Ashley and Faye are joint top, while Susannah is almost an innings behind already on only 12. I expect the Anton fan-club will keep Susannah in for a couple of weeks at least, so the bottom 2 positions look very open as the worst dancers are probably more likely to attract either a sympathy vote or have a fan-club. A promising mix of talents, egos and personalities for the rest of Strictly.