Strictly - Fireworks and Damp Squibs

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As ever, Tess and Claude start the show by reminding us that someone was eliminated last week (big "awww" from the audience) and that another celeb will be eliminated this weekend. Surely even the dumbest viewer has got the generai idea of what happens by now?

Lauren & AJ (Jive). We have a skateboard park prop for this dance, and Lauren once again dances like an athlete. She’s on time with her moves, but she somehow hasn’t got any dancing style. At least, she seems to be enjoying her dancing more now. Judges are encouraging with their comments and she gets 7,8,8,8 for 31 points.

Graeme & Oti (Waltz). In rehearsals, Graeme brings up his grandparents and also parents (he only wants to do well for them) having displayed his kids last week. Next week, it’ll probably be the family chihuahua as the reason Graeme wants to do well. This routine is quite nice, with Graeme in top hat and tails, but not one to set the world alight. Bruno says it was elegant and Craig criticises his top line. 6,7,8,8 for 29. Graeme gets emotional after the scores are in.

Kate & Aljaz (Argentine Tango). Kate has pulled a muscle in training, and they must have annoyed the wardrobe people, judging by Kate’s mid-blue dress and Aljaz’s jumpsuit made from purple curtains. At least they've got good dramatic music. She’s got the mood of the dance, but her actual dancing looks very staid and middle-aged, probably down to the pulled muscle. Craig says it was stuck in the mud, and Shirley says there wasn’t enough chemistry. 4,6,6,7 for 23 points.

Dr. Ranj & Janette (Samba). Dr. Ranj has been flatlining recently, but bounces back with a Samba with actual bounce from him. Some bits are a little rough around the edges, but he’s selling it well, it’s fun to watch and Janette is fab in this. Shirley says she loved some elements of his technique (subtext – but not all of it). Craig enjoyed it saying “finally, a dance that suits you”. 6,7,7,7 for 27 points.

Stacey & Kevin (Street Commercial). Their routine is to Alicia Keys’ Empire State of Mind. Quite a sharp and interesting routine, though the mood of the dance doesn’t seem to match the music. Stacey is clearly a quick learner, and good at getting the right poses, and there looks a lot of content for her here. Craig says the routine had everything that he loves, and other judges are also happy. 4 9’s give Stacey 36.

Danny and Amy (Quickstep). Amy looks very elegant, Danny looks assured, and this is an enjoyable routine apart from the bits which go horribly wrong. Unfortunately, there are a quite a few of those bits, though I didn’t think there were quite as many mistakes as what the judges are saying. Judges do say they liked the bits that didn’t go horribly wrong. Would be good to see that routine again in the dance-off, hopefully without the mistakes next time. After all these negative comments from the judges, scores are surprisingly generous – 4,6,5,7 for 22 points. Bruno gives 7 “to balance it up a bit”. No Bruno, that’s not how judging is supposed to work.

Ashley & Pasha (Foxtrot). This week Ashley isn’t worried about how difficult the dance is, so skives training and heads off to the park to meet another ex-Pussycat Doll who has named her two girls after trees, sadly missing the opportunity to call the elder daughter “Elder” and the younger “Alder”. I'd have thought Hemlock would have gone down well and Poplar would be popular. Ashley’s lack of anxiety about learning a dance turns out to be fully justified as she delivers a great old-fashioned Hollywood glamour foxtrot where every movement is perfectly judged to be in time and in tune with the music. Really enjoyed that. Surely the first 40 of the season? Not yet, not with Craig around. He gives a 9 to go with the 3 10’s for a total of 39.

Faye & Giovanni (Tango). Dancing to Blondie’s “Call Me” and rather embarrassingly for the singer, she sounds even worse than Debbie Harry. This routine is quite sharp, but not everything is in perfect sync. Don’t think this went the way they’d planned it. Shirley has a mild criticism about Faye’s frame and foot placement. Bruno says it was tighter than Craig’s girdle. Meaow. Craig says it would have been a 10 if they hadn’t used a box-frame as a prop, in a rare example of him not making sense. 9,10,9,10 for 38 points.

Charles & Karen (Viennese Waltz). Routine starts with Charles wearing a flat cap, drinking a pretend pint in a pretend pub, the “King Charles” before seeing Karen outside and coming out for a dance. This has a really good flow and is quite charming, with Charles imposing a bit of his own relaxed style on this routine. A bit of a rarity for me, an interesting enjoyable waltz. Shirley praises his timing, but Craig says there was too much rise and fall and he was also flat-footed. 6,7,7,8 for 28 points. It’s only the second time they haven’t scored 25 points, so Charles & Karen celebrate the achievement of “not getting 25” like they’ve won the competition, and the rest of the dancers join in. Bonus points to them for having a sense of humour.

Joe & Dianne (Paso). Joe is amusingly self-deprecating in rehearsal about not having the muscle to hold a strong paso frame. He’s not wrong, and although he tries his best and does his serious paso face, he just can’t get the right posture to do this dance properly. He also has a “spatulistic” hand as Craig likes to call it, but I bet Craig won’t point this out, and he doesn’t, though he does say the performance was a bit wooden. It’s left to Darcey to point out the dodgy thrown-away free arm. Joe gets another hug from Shirley who doesn’t need to use the Brucie catchphrase “you’re my favourite” as it’s just so obvious. Slightly generous 7 from Craig is followed by downright silly 9’s from the other judges to give Joe 34 points. I thought a “Charles” score of 25 would have been nearer the mark.

Ashley a deserved leader this week, followed closely by Stacey and Faye. Danny is bottom so we’ll get our first chance to see whether the public like him or not. Charles’s routine was my second favourite last night, despite the judges being tough on him. More bonkers marking this week. I expect it’ll be Lauren and Danny in the bottom two.

RESULTS SHOW

We start off with a tribute routine to Aretha Franklin, which has good music, bright colours and lots of Oti – what’s not to like? Judges come on and Shirley is channelling Vera Lynn in a green dress, while Darcey shows us she’s game for a laugh by wearing a brightly coloured Charlie’s Angels jumpsuit with flares.

Results are in – Joe, Kate (surprised but happy), Faye, Stacey and poor old Charles is in the dance-off once again. Claudia chats to Faye who tells us she’s doing the jive next week and Giovanni keeps repeatedly showing her videos of his top 100 jives featuring himself. Giovanni has enough self-awareness to look a bit embarassed at this revelation. Music time and Jess Glynne is providing a bit of a tune, though looking miserable about being there, but unlike Rita Ora, she’s letting the Strictly pros dance in front of her.
More results – as ever, Ashley is surprised to be put through, then Lauren, Danny and Graeme which means Dr.Ranj is in the bottom two. Should be a competitive dance-off as Charles was only a point ahead of Ranj in the judges’ scores.

In the dance-off, both Charles and Ranj do pretty much as well as they did before, and both dances are good to watch. Craig correctly says it’s a very difficult choice, because the dances and respective strengths were different, but he chooses Ranj. The other 3 all pick Charles so he’s through to next week’s dance-off and Ranj is out, which will give him more time for his day job as a doctor. Ranj and Janette talk about being best friends, and seem to actually mean it. I think Ranj’s time had come, as he was one of the weaker dancers, and starting to take it all too seriously and take the criticism to heart.

Next week it’s the week before Blackpool, and there’s a faint possibility that one (or maybe more) of our couples might tell us about how keen they are to get to Blackpool, though I doubt if it’s worth poor Charles bothering to book an Earlybird saver ticket on the National coach up to the Vegas of the North. Given how the judges are scoring, I’ll be amazed if it isn’t Stacey, Faye, Ashley and Joe in the final.