Avengers - Endgame
Posted: April 26th, 2019, 7:57 pm
4/10. Ho-hum hokum. 3, yes 3 hours long, and it feels like it too. Best suited to Marvel obsessives.
This is the second of a 2-part yarn, the first part being last year's "Avengers Infinity War", which ended with the good guys and gals in a rather large spot of bother. Will this second film be the one that fixes all the trouble they were in at the end of the last film and gives us a happy ending? Well, if anything like that were to happen, they'd have to invent time-travel or something, so they could go back to fix the previous mess. Luckily, 2 of our Avengers manage to invent time-travel separately, and then they pool their ideas to make it workable, although their version of time-travel requires every Avenging time-traveller to use a test-tube full of Barbie-pink gloop and there can only ever be 8 test-tubes of gloop, just enough for their missions into the past, so no margins for error on their separate time-travel missions to right the wrongs of the past. Although at one point, they do seem to grab a few extra test-tubes from the 1960s which just happen to be lying around somewhere - I may have been asleep/dreaming at this point. There's a bit of banter around the paradoxes of time-travel and how other films' premise could never work, but then the writers just seem to ignore all the problems they just outlined and assume "well, all that could work in this film because we say so, and we're the people writing it". There are actually quite a lot of plot holes if you stop to think about it, so best not to think about it.
Another bit of luck for our avenging Avengers is that a new kid on the Avenger block has just shown up (Captainess Marvel, I think). She can travel through space unprotected like some kind of fiery angel, travel faster-than-light, and can destroy huge spacecraft simply by bulleting through them. She also has a St.Bernard-like ability to find and rescue lost souls stranded in deep space. All of this sounds like she'd come in very handy indeed. However, she's too busy to help much as it seems she has more important things to do than saving the universe, so she's somewhere else for most of the film, before turning up near the end, when she teams up with someone from Wakanda with a spear. Yes, it's just a spear, no special powers, just a pointy end, but apparently our super-duper powered Avengeress would be in trouble without it.
Chris Hemsworth provides light relief as an out of shape Thor who's feeling thorry for himthelf so just keeps getting hammered, while Rocky Raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy displays his usual entertaning lack of tactfulness.
Apparently if you're an Avengers aficionado/enthusiast/obsessive there are lots of things to enjoy in this film like Avenger #13 to Avenger #14 quoting a bit of dialogue that first appeared in AvengersFilm #99 when it was actually voiced by Avenger #14 to Avenger #13 (ooh, the irony), or Captain Marvel being able to pick up Thor's Hammer (humble apologies if this revelation has spoilt the entire film for you).
There is a happy ending (indeed, the clue's in the title) because apparently Endgame means Endgame and this is the last time that this particular load of superheroes will be crammed together in a blockbuster with a creaky plot and a shedload of CGI.
This is the second of a 2-part yarn, the first part being last year's "Avengers Infinity War", which ended with the good guys and gals in a rather large spot of bother. Will this second film be the one that fixes all the trouble they were in at the end of the last film and gives us a happy ending? Well, if anything like that were to happen, they'd have to invent time-travel or something, so they could go back to fix the previous mess. Luckily, 2 of our Avengers manage to invent time-travel separately, and then they pool their ideas to make it workable, although their version of time-travel requires every Avenging time-traveller to use a test-tube full of Barbie-pink gloop and there can only ever be 8 test-tubes of gloop, just enough for their missions into the past, so no margins for error on their separate time-travel missions to right the wrongs of the past. Although at one point, they do seem to grab a few extra test-tubes from the 1960s which just happen to be lying around somewhere - I may have been asleep/dreaming at this point. There's a bit of banter around the paradoxes of time-travel and how other films' premise could never work, but then the writers just seem to ignore all the problems they just outlined and assume "well, all that could work in this film because we say so, and we're the people writing it". There are actually quite a lot of plot holes if you stop to think about it, so best not to think about it.
Another bit of luck for our avenging Avengers is that a new kid on the Avenger block has just shown up (Captainess Marvel, I think). She can travel through space unprotected like some kind of fiery angel, travel faster-than-light, and can destroy huge spacecraft simply by bulleting through them. She also has a St.Bernard-like ability to find and rescue lost souls stranded in deep space. All of this sounds like she'd come in very handy indeed. However, she's too busy to help much as it seems she has more important things to do than saving the universe, so she's somewhere else for most of the film, before turning up near the end, when she teams up with someone from Wakanda with a spear. Yes, it's just a spear, no special powers, just a pointy end, but apparently our super-duper powered Avengeress would be in trouble without it.
Chris Hemsworth provides light relief as an out of shape Thor who's feeling thorry for himthelf so just keeps getting hammered, while Rocky Raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy displays his usual entertaning lack of tactfulness.
Apparently if you're an Avengers aficionado/enthusiast/obsessive there are lots of things to enjoy in this film like Avenger #13 to Avenger #14 quoting a bit of dialogue that first appeared in AvengersFilm #99 when it was actually voiced by Avenger #14 to Avenger #13 (ooh, the irony), or Captain Marvel being able to pick up Thor's Hammer (humble apologies if this revelation has spoilt the entire film for you).
There is a happy ending (indeed, the clue's in the title) because apparently Endgame means Endgame and this is the last time that this particular load of superheroes will be crammed together in a blockbuster with a creaky plot and a shedload of CGI.
