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What was your first job?

Laughter is the best medicine, find and post jokes. nothing too saucy please, Dad jokes, Current news jokes..
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UncleIan
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Re: What was your first job?

#138932

Postby UncleIan » May 14th, 2018, 9:12 am

For my first job I tried to do crystal ball readings, but I stopped because I just couldn't see a future in it.

AleisterCrowley
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Re: What was your first job?

#138940

Postby AleisterCrowley » May 14th, 2018, 10:16 am

Here's an odd job... quite an influential (effluential?) position apparently.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool

brightncheerful
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Re: What was your first job?

#138954

Postby brightncheerful » May 14th, 2018, 11:22 am

My first job was bog-standard.
Until I went into retail, where is was bogof.

flopski2
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Re: What was your first job?

#138977

Postby flopski2 » May 14th, 2018, 1:36 pm

Not sure which has been the best reply so far on this thread - currently I'm swithering between No1 and No2.

Gaggsy
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Re: What was your first job?

#138987

Postby Gaggsy » May 14th, 2018, 2:06 pm

tjh290633 wrote:Which first job do you mean?

I worked on a poultry farm in summer holidays from school.

I did my National Service in the RAF on leaving school.

I worked on the Christmas Post in my Christmas vacations from University and as a bus conductor during the long vacations.

I worked for a process plant contractor as a site engineer on graduating from university.

Take your pick. My favourite was the work on the buses but, as they used to say, it would be a super job, were it not for the travelling public. You did have ample opportunity to engage young ladies in conversation.

TJH


Number 2

UncleIan
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Re: What was your first job?

#138992

Postby UncleIan » May 14th, 2018, 2:27 pm

flopski2 wrote:Not sure which has been the best reply so far on this thread - currently I'm swithering between No1 and No2.


[Irish accent] Not the third one?

SDN123
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Re: What was your first job?

#139036

Postby SDN123 » May 14th, 2018, 6:14 pm

I worked for 50 years looking up cows [expletive deleted].

They gave me a gold watch when I left.

The only time I ever got a pat on the back.

tjh290633
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Re: What was your first job?

#139039

Postby tjh290633 » May 14th, 2018, 6:34 pm

Gaggsy wrote:
Number 2


Bullshit Baffles Brains was the motto. There is only so much coal that you can whitewash.

stewamax
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Re: What was your first job?

#139145

Postby stewamax » May 15th, 2018, 10:18 am

it was well-known that the accountant was always constipated

Though after his explosive year-end rollover - with nothing accrued or retained - he had egg on his face and ...

Raptor
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Re: What was your first job?

#139201

Postby Raptor » May 15th, 2018, 2:29 pm

My first job was helping put the "barrows" away in Brixton Market, I was 11. Other than a very short spell delivering newspapers in High Rise blocks of flats (1 week of that was enough), 16 years old apprenticeship with Post Office Telephones, after being rejected for military cadet (needed A levels and the travelling from a village in Kent to the Oval was killing me at 15) and deciding being a Policeman with my family background was probably not a good idea.

Raptor.

PinkDalek
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Re: What was your first job?

#139252

Postby PinkDalek » May 15th, 2018, 8:09 pm

Raptor wrote:My first job was ...


viewtopic.php?p=138653#p138653 ;)

UncleEbenezer
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Re: What was your first job?

#139270

Postby UncleEbenezer » May 15th, 2018, 10:10 pm

PinkDalek wrote:
Raptor wrote:My first job was ...


viewtopic.php?p=138653#p138653 ;)

It was a crap joke.

In fact, it was the #2 crap joke in this thread (excluding the intentional). So it was actually on-topic.

I feel better for that.

Bink333
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Re: What was your first job?

#139589

Postby Bink333 » May 17th, 2018, 3:09 pm

My first job was at a helium factory.

They still speak highly of me.

AleisterCrowley
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Re: What was your first job?

#139592

Postby AleisterCrowley » May 17th, 2018, 3:23 pm

I got a job making trousers for circus stilt-walkers

[add punchline as required]

Watis
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Re: What was your first job?

#139594

Postby Watis » May 17th, 2018, 3:30 pm

AleisterCrowley wrote:I got a job making trousers for circus stilt-walkers

[add punchline as required]



Presumably these were high-waisted trousers?

Watis

AleisterCrowley
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Re: What was your first job?

#139599

Postby AleisterCrowley » May 17th, 2018, 3:45 pm

No, the quality control was poor to start with, but we made enormous strides


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