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Parrot
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- Lemon Quarter
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Parrot
Sadly my obese parrot has died from over eating.
At least it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
At least it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
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- The full Lemon
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- Lemon Slice
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Re: Parrot
Did you take the instructions on the Polyfilla too literally?
Sorry, someone had to get that in, too.
Sorry, someone had to get that in, too.
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Parrot
another old joke:
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
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- Lemon Half
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- Lemon Quarter
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Parrot
Julian. WTF? Please PM me with the explanation. C.jfgw wrote:What's the difference between a parrot?
One of its legs are both the same.
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Parrot
csearle wrote:Julian. WTF? Please PM me with the explanation. C.jfgw wrote:What's the difference between a parrot?
One of its legs are both the same.
It was a joke graffitied on a desk in a college library years ago. I have told it a few times since and, stangely, get a similar reaction each time.
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- The full Lemon
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Re: Parrot
jfgw wrote:What's the difference between a parrot?
One of its legs are both the same.
Mornington Crescent.
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Parrot
jfgw wrote:What's the difference between a parrot?
One of its legs are both the same.
In years gone by, I heard a French version of this, except the punchline was:
"Both its legs are exactly the same length, especially the left one"
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- Lemon Quarter
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Parrot
kempiejon wrote:I thought it was a duck not a parrot.
There shouldn't be any confusion as the two birds look distinctly different, especially the duck.
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- Lemon Quarter
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- The full Lemon
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Re: Parrot
TUK020 wrote:In years gone by, I heard a French version of this, except the punchline was:
"Both its legs are exactly the same length, especially the left one"
All legs are equal.
But some are more equal than others.
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Parrot
kempiejon wrote:I thought it was a duck not a parrot.
Thinking about it, you are probably right.
Applying one of the many variants of the duck test:
Does it look like a duck?
Assuming that it is a duck, then, yes, it looks exactly like a duck. It is obviously a different breed from the ones in the large pond just outside the kitchen window but it is still, clearly, a duck.
Does it swim like a duck?
I assume so although I have never seen it swim. It spends most of its time on a perch in a big cage by the kitchen window.
Does it quack like a duck?
Yes, it quacks just like all of the other noisy blighters in the large pond just outside the kitchen window.
I assume, therefore, that it must be a duck.
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- Lemon Quarter
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