Real life

[AsleepInYorkshire]

I work for a company that design and build large homes. We also knock out the odd extension for Grade I & II listed buildings.

Recently we built a [gorgeous] new garage for a customer. I ordered the cast iron guttering and all the accessories.

I received a call from my builders merchant.

They asked if I could identify how many left hand and how many right hand end caps I needed. Prudence dictated I should check. The guttering was the same shape at both sides.

I called the merchant and informed them they must be wrong. No no no they insisted.

So for the next two hours I attempted to understand what it was I was missing. 40 years experience and I was totally baffled.

In the end I rang the merchant back and told him I couldn't work it out.

He offered to ring the manufacturer. He called back an hour later.

He reliably informed me that the left and right hand end caps were (wait for it) ... universal right and left hand fittings. I ruptured myself laughing.

Now I suppose you had to be there but we did manage to see the funny side in the end.

AiY

[EssDeeAitch]

Quite similar to the apprentice wind ups I suffered in 1969!

[jfgw]

Do you still need a left-handed screwdriver for the ones on the left?

[kiloran]

Do you still need a left-handed screwdriver for the ones on the left?

Don't jest! I was chatting to my sister (who is left-handed) today and she told me she could not use a carving knife used by mum (a right-handed person) because it has worn the wrong way.

--kiloran

[UncleEbenezer]

Don't jest! I was chatting to my sister (who is left-handed) today and she told me she could not use a carving knife used by mum (a right-handed person) because it has worn the wrong way.

Is she a good feminist? Making excuses that our cultural stereotypes would assign to the male!

[stewamax]

There are, of course, left- and right-handed bath plugs - chosen according to which way the water swirls down the plughole.

[UncleEbenezer]

Mine is ambidextrous. The water might go either way.

[csearle]

Mine is ambidextrous. The water might go either way.

I suppose it depends upon which hemisphere it identifies itself as being in.

[Slarti]

Quite similar to the apprentice wind ups I suffered in 1969!

Long ago I used to work for a boatyard and a new lad was sent for a long weight, and refused to go as he'd heard all about these things.

Only trouble was, there really were 4 long weights that were cast iron and about 6' long. Originally used to counter-balance the boat-shed doors, they were then used as general weights, as needed.

Slarti

[brightncheerful]

When I was young, my mother asked me to go to the shop and buy some double cream. The shop was out of stock so I bought two single creams instead.

[PrincessB]

Possibly an urban myth,

I heard about a young lad who was asked by the manager to nip and buy some cigarettes, said like this:

'Get me 20 Benson & Hedges and if they don't have them get me anything'

Lad returned with a Mars Bar.

[stevensfo]

Possibly an urban myth,

I heard about a young lad who was asked by the manager to nip and buy some cigarettes, said like this:

'Get me 20 Benson & Hedges and if they don't have them get me anything'

Lad returned with a Mars Bar.

I don't think it's an urban myth. Just childish innocence. To be honest, that's what I would have done.

...and still would.

Steve

[PinkDalek]

Lad returned with a Mars Bar.

... and kept the change?

[Watis]

Possibly an urban myth,

I heard about a young lad who was asked by the manager to nip and buy some cigarettes, said like this:

'Get me 20 Benson & Hedges and if they don't have them get me anything'

Lad returned with a Mars Bar.

This is similar to finding out whether someone is a computer programmer by sending them shopping with the instruction:

"Buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get 6."

What would you come home with, if given that instruction?

Watis

[panamagold]

As long as I didn't become caught up in an infinite loop, and was able to make it out of the store, I would return home with 6 loaves.

[UncleIan]

My missus went down the shop one work lunchtime, years ago, and a colleague asked her to get a Time Out. Apparently she was quite miffed to receive a magazine and not the chocolate bar she wanted!

[Watis]

My missus went down the shop one work lunchtime, years ago, and a colleague asked her to get a Time Out. Apparently she was quite miffed to receive a magazine and not the chocolate bar she wanted!

I normally do the shopping from a list prepared by Mrs Watis.

Some years back I had to guess whether 'Cif' meant lemon juice or the surface cleaner!

Watis

[flopski2]

In my first week in my first job some one asked me to do some work for a client. I asked who the client was and was told "the Scottish Assocation of Master Bakers". I thought here we go, the new boy wind up and prepared to tell them what to do with that request (using the good old Scottish double positive, negative response "Aye, right!"). However, i soon realised the assocation did exist and they mut have also cottened on some time as they are now just called "Scottish Bakers".

[SwissPaul]

My mate was a cabbage mechanic (trainee chef) and was sent to get some traffic jam - he got halfway up the road before it clicked

[marronier]

Reminds me of the comedienne Jeanne Robertson and her story "Don't send a man to the grocery store ".