Romance Novel Metaphors and Similes

[laladonny]

Beatrice was on him like a piranha on a corn dog.

Then he kissed her, like a butterfly kisses the windshield of a Porsche on the Autobahn.

Her breasts heaved like a stormy ocean, and her pointed nipples were like hypodermics washed up on the shore.

He tore open her blouse like a Publisher's Clearing House letter in which he, and some guy named Steven Bouber from Stockton, California, were potential finalists for the ten million dollar prize.

Her petticoats dropped to the ground, rustling like a cockroach in a sugar bowl.

Her sun-glazed back formed a golden arch as he moved his face toward her happy meal.

With each breath, her chest heaved like a bulimic after Thanksgiving dinner.

As she kissed her way down his manly chest, he felt his Amalgamated Crane Company stock increasing in value.

Claire felt swept away by this dark stranger, a helpless dust bunny in the roaring cacophony of his gas-powered leaf blower.

[PinkDalek]

viewtopic.php?p=305961#p305961

[csearle]

Managed a grin at about a third of those. Must be a cuwcher fing.

Anyway keep up the good work, some are priceless.

Chris

[laladonny]

Boy, is this a tough room. Between the anti-Americans and the board police, it seems I can't say anything stronger than "Dash blast the gosh darn blankety heck", use any simile for the body other than "thingy" or have a post longer than a few lines. But I'll keep trying. Whew!

[jfgw]

Boy, is this a tough room. Between the anti-Americans and the board police, it seems I can't say anything stronger than "Dash blast the gosh darn blankety heck", use any simile for the body other than "thingy" or have a post longer than a few lines. But I'll keep trying. Whew!

Perseverance is an honourable trait. I don't think anyone here is anti-American (I certainly hope they are not), it is just that our languages are different.

I wrote a book once called "Baby Pacifying for Dummies". Unfortunately, no-one from either side of The Atlantic understood it.

Julian F. G. W.

[csearle]

Boy, is this a tough room. Between the anti-Americans and the board police, it seems I can't say anything stronger than "Dash blast the gosh darn blankety heck", use any simile for the body other than "thingy" or have a post longer than a few lines. But I'll keep trying. Whew!

Keep up the good work! Struggling to understand an American joke is not dissimilar to spending a whole Sunday trying to solve just about six clues of a Times crossword with a degree of confidence. The journey is the destination.

Chris

[stewamax]

...it seems I can't say anything stronger than "Dash blast the gosh darn blankety heck"

Gracious - where are the Moderators when you need them ? - one cannot use such base language here; 'dash' and 'heck' in particular would never be uttered if ladies or more delicate men were present. And 'darn' is an instruction to one's sempstress.

[csearle]

Boy, is this a tough room. Between the anti-Americans and the board police, it seems I can't say anything stronger than "Dash blast the gosh darn blankety heck", use any simile for the body other than "thingy" or have a post longer than a few lines. But I'll keep trying. Whew!

Moderator Message:
Please be very cautious when using terms like dash, heck and darn". - Chris

[PinkDalek]

Balderdash being far more hip, no?

[bluedonkey]

Careful, now!

[stewamax]

Some years ago, the more decent chaps' dash darn and heck could be supplemented by golly.
Not anymore...