Flying trisms

[laladonny]

If the wings are travelling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.

Helicopter's don't fly - they're just so ugly the earth repels them!

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

The 3 most useless things in aviation – the runway behind you, the altitude above you, and the fuel you left in the fuel truck.

When one engine fails on a twin engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.

Airspeed, altitude, brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.

[Mike4]

And another...

Flying isn't inherently dangerous, it's the ground.


(I guess your title should say "truisms".)

[dealtn]

And another...

Flying isn't inherently dangerous, it's the ground.


(I guess your title should say "truisms".)

Sadly the spelling in the title was the funniest thing in the post.

[Mike4]

I've thought of another:

"There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold pilots."

Truisms are not really jokes though, are they?

[Spet0789]

A good landing is one you can walk away from. A great landing is one where you can use the aircraft again.

[airbus330]

As an ex-instructor my favourite was "they're always trying to figure out new ways to kill you".

My wifes favourites Q " How do you know that there is an airline pilot at a party?" A "He'll tell you"
Q" How many airline pilots does it take to change a light bulb?
A" One, he'll hold the light bulb and allow the world to rotate around him"

She's a bit of a cynic my missus!

[Watis]

And my favourite:

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation - we haven't left one up there yet!

Watis

[kiloran]

I remember hearing a radio report of a plane crash a few years ago. It said that "It is believed the plane was too close to the ground".
No sh1t, Sherlock

--kiloran

[csearle]

My favourite (well known) aviation truism is "taking off is optional; landing is mandatory". C.

[Spet0789]

If you suffer engine failure while flying a single engined aircraft at night, establish the aircraft in a glide and aim for a black bit. At 200 feet, turn on the lights. If you don’t like what you see, turn them off again.

[Mike4]

To insert a joke into the thread...

The pilot on a transatlantic flight came onto the intercom and said "Ladies and gentlemen, My apologies one of our 4 engines has failed so we'll be landing in New York 20 minutes late."

A while later, the intercom crackled into life again... "Ladies and gentlemen, My apologies a second engine has failed so we'll be landing in New York 1 hour late."

Then after ten more minutes, another announcement: Ladies and gentlemen, My apologies a third engine has has failed so now we'll be landing in New York 2 hours late."

A passenger of no particular hair colour leaned over to her companion and said in a loud whisper, and heard all over the plane "I do hope the last engine doesn't fail or we'll be stuck up here forever."

[Thruppennybit]

Trisms?

laladonny still hasn't worked out where "u"s go, has he

[WrongLicence388]

If black boxes survive aircraft crashes -- why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

[stevensfo]

And my favourite:

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation - we haven't left one up there yet!

Watis

I seem to remember a light plane breaking a record by flying using power from solar panels that covered the wings and top. If they can get one that keeps up with the sun (1000 miles/hr?) then we could well have one that stays up all the time.

Of course, like military aircraft, they might have to cheat a little by being refueled in mid-air, albeit with whisky miniatures, peanuts and toilet paper.

If Ryanair, no doubt, they'll have to be regularly replenished with scratchcards.

Steve

[WrongLicence388]

And my favourite:

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation - we haven't left one up there yet!

Watis

I seem to remember a light plane breaking a record by flying using power from solar panels that covered the wings and top. If they can get one that keeps up with the sun (1000 miles/hr?) then we could well have one that stays up all the time.

Of course, like military aircraft, they might have to cheat a little by being refueled in mid-air, albeit with whisky miniatures, peanuts and toilet paper.

If Ryanair, no doubt, they'll have to be regularly replenished with scratchcards.

Steve

Sorry for the tangent but it reminds me of this long flight in the 50s.

https://www.aopa.org/news-and-media/all ... circa-1958

C.

[stevensfo]

And my favourite:

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation - we haven't left one up there yet!

Watis

I seem to remember a light plane breaking a record by flying using power from solar panels that covered the wings and top. If they can get one that keeps up with the sun (1000 miles/hr?) then we could well have one that stays up all the time.

Of course, like military aircraft, they might have to cheat a little by being refueled in mid-air, albeit with whisky miniatures, peanuts and toilet paper.

If Ryanair, no doubt, they'll have to be regularly replenished with scratchcards.

Steve

Sorry for the tangent but it reminds me of this long flight in the 50s.

https://www.aopa.org/news-and-media/all ... circa-1958

C.

A bit different since they were constantly being refueled. But 64 days cooped up in a tiny plane like that? I think I would go mad.

I will never complain about having to spend a day at my MIL's ever again!

Steve

[WrongLicence388]

I seem to remember a light plane breaking a record by flying using power from solar panels that covered the wings and top. If they can get one that keeps up with the sun (1000 miles/hr?) then we could well have one that stays up all the time.

Of course, like military aircraft, they might have to cheat a little by being refueled in mid-air, albeit with whisky miniatures, peanuts and toilet paper.

If Ryanair, no doubt, they'll have to be regularly replenished with scratchcards.

Steve

Sorry for the tangent but it reminds me of this long flight in the 50s.

https://www.aopa.org/news-and-media/all ... circa-1958

C.

A bit different since they were constantly being refueled. But 64 days cooped up in a tiny plane like that? I think I would go mad.

I will never complain about having to spend a day at my MIL's ever again!

Steve

Definitely different, but still an incredible feat. I liked that the engine oil and oil filters could be changed without shutting down the engine.

64 days cooped up in a tiny plane like that genuinely sounds like a dream to me!

O.J.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can’t see them taking off.

C.

[stevensfo]

Sorry for the tangent but it reminds me of this long flight in the 50s.

https://www.aopa.org/news-and-media/all ... circa-1958

C.

A bit different since they were constantly being refueled. But 64 days cooped up in a tiny plane like that? I think I would go mad.

I will never complain about having to spend a day at my MIL's ever again!

Steve

Definitely different, but still an incredible feat. I liked that the engine oil and oil filters could be changed without shutting down the engine.

64 days cooped up in a tiny plane like that genuinely sounds like a dream to me!

O.J.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can’t see them taking off.

C.

The RAF announced that trials of its small one-seater stealth reconnaissance plane have exceeded all expectations. Invisible to radar, an array of tiny cameras and flexible LCD panels makes the plane blend in with its surroundings and thus becomes invisible on the ground as well.
In a statement released yesterday, the RAF also offered a reward to anyone who could help find the bloody thing!

Steve

[Mike4]

I went out to buy myself a trendy camouflage jacket the other day.

Couldn't find one anywhere....

[stewamax]

If black boxes survive aircraft crashes -- why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Are we allowed to call them 'black' boxes these days?
(OK - I know they are actually orange, especially EasyJet's which very orange)