Dog

[TheMotorcycleBoy]

A man sees a sign outside a house 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the
bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back
garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks, "So,
tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would
be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do
some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several
medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much
he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him
so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden.

[mc2fool]

viewtopic.php?f=64&t=24216&p=323246

[TheMotorcycleBoy]

https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=64&t=24216&p=323246

Thing is, these kind of jokes improve with repetition.

[jfgw]

Thing is, these kind of jokes improve with repetition.

A man sees a sign outside a house 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the
bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back
garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks, "So,
tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would
be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do
some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several
medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much
he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him
so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden.


Julian F. G. W.

[AsleepInYorkshire]

Thing is, these kind of jokes improve with repetition.

A man sees a sign outside a house 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the
bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back
garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks, "So,
tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would
be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do
some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several
medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much
he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him
so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden.


Julian F. G. W.

Begrudgingly rec'd - but watch yourself in future

AiY

[Mike4]

Thing is, these kind of jokes improve with repetition.

A man sees a sign outside a house 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the
bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back
garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks, "So,
tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would
be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do
some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several
medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much
he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him
so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden.


Julian F. G. W.

Begrudgingly rec'd - but watch yourself in future

AiY

Ah but he forgot to improve it!!

[jfgw]

Ah but he forgot to improve it!!

It wouldn't be a repetition if I improved it though.


Julian F. G. W.

[BellaHubby]

A man sees a sign outside a house 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the
bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back
garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks, "So,
tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would
be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do
some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several
medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much
he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him
so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden.


Julian F. G. W.

Begrudgingly rec'd - but watch yourself in future

AiY

Ah but he forgot to improve it!!

Disagree, I think Julian told it so much better

[kempiejon]

https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=64&t=24216&p=323246