The Lemon Fool

A German guy approaches a prostitute and says " I vish to buy sex vit you"

"OK" says the girl, "I'll charge 100 dollars an hour"

" Ist goot, But I must varn you, I am a little kinky" "No problem" she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky"

So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.

"I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs.."

The girl finds this very strange, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees.

"Now you vill get on your hans and knees."

She duly does this, balancing on the springs.

"You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you."

She finds all this very odd, but figures it's harmless, and the guy is paying.

The sex is fantastic.

She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.

The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered her breath.

Finally she gasps "That was totally amazing....... what do you call that?"

"Ah", says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique"

I didn't understand this "joke" ten years ago and I still don't understand it. Maybe it's a British thing.
lld

laladonny wrote:I didn't understand this "joke" ten years ago and I still don't understand it. Maybe it's a British thing.
lld

It’s not very funny…

The motto of Audi is Vorsprung Durch Technik. Advantage through technology. Geddit now?

laladonny wrote:I didn't understand this "joke" ten years ago and I still don't understand it. Maybe it's a British thing.
lld

With great respect, considering your jokes, that is quite understandable. Maybe a bit too subtle?

Dod

Ow!
lld

I got it, very good, had a laugh, gave it a rec

brightncheerful wrote:I got it, very good, had a laugh, gave it a rec

with the added bonus of laladonny not getting it, which added to the amusement

Just as an aside, for some reason, despite being a German speaker, I took far too long to pronounce German "Technik" correctly.

For years I kept saying it more-or-less (apart from the "ch", which I got right) like the English technique. I not only made it rhyme with seek; I also put all the emphasis on the nik syllable. In fact the whole emphasis should be on "Tech" with the nik rhyming with sick.

If I'd've thought about it I might have pronounced it correctly from the start, but rather lazily I didn't.

Chris

Obl.W: “Aber Herr Ober, der Kaffee ist ja kalt!” “Gut, dass Sie mir das sagen, Eiskaffee kostet nämlich einen Euro mehr!”

UncleEbenezer wrote:Das ist kein Spaß!

FWIW I give my milk 25s in the microwave oven before the Jura machine coffee is introduced to it; that is the only way to get a hot enough cup of coffee out of mine. C.

"das ist kein Spass" oder "das macht kein Spass" ?

TP2

TahiPanasDua wrote:"das ist kein Spass" oder "das macht kein Spass" ?

"Das ist kein Scherz", surely? (Scherz = joke.) Kein Spass means No Fun!

BJ

bungeejumper wrote:

TahiPanasDua wrote:"das ist kein Spass" oder "das macht kein Spass" ?

"Das ist kein Scherz", surely? (Scherz = joke.) Kein Spass means No Fun!

BJ

Yes, but if you want to argue semantics, No Joke isn't what I said. I complained instead that it was Not Funny.

I share with the original complainant an aversion to the tepid coffee of which (s)he spoke in the joke.