The Lemon Fool

Soon after NASA admits the presence of aliens……

An alien vessel lands quietly on Saint Peter's square in Rome.

A hatch opens and two little grey men with dazzling smiles appear.

They are promptly granted an audience with the Pope.

After a brief discussion about the weather, the Pope says, "I know this question may sound odd to you, but I was wondering if you and your kind believe in a God?"

“Of course we do,” exclaims the slightly taller of two aliens, looking puzzled. “Why do you think all planets live in peace together. His son Jesus visits our planet every two years or so. Amazing guy!"

A hush descends on the audience chamber and everyone watches the Pope, whose face is turning a rather odd purple.

"Every two years?" he shouts. "We're still waiting after two thousand years!"

"Very strange. I never heard of that before. Maybe he didn't like your ice-cream,” suggests the alien.

"Ice-cream?" replies the Pope, turning an even deeper shade of purple. "What in heaven's name does ice-cream have to do with it?"

"Well," says the alien, “the first time he came to our planet, we gave him a large tub of ice-cream as a leaving present. Why, what did you do?"


Steve

I just realised that a version of that joke has already been posted.

As penance, I forward some more from Milton Jones:


Ever had one of those telephone conversations:

"You put it down!"
No, haha, YOU put it down!
"No, you put it down!"
Hoho, no, you put it down!
"Look, I had enough. It's an old dog, and you're a qualified vet!"



It's not easy being a teacher. Especially with all that marking.
So best to wrap the kids up in blankets before you hit them.


My wife and I actually met each other on the net.
We were both rubbish trapeze artists!


When a Welshman tells you that he has a fantasy, please bear in mind that he may be talking about his can of orange-flavoured drink.


The barrier wouldn't open to allow me out of the car park.
I read the notice, walked to the bus stop and spent five hours getting to the airport.
The next day I finally got a plane out to north India and took a train, then buses until I reached Kashmir.
A few days of hiking through mountains and I reached a temple.
Outside were men wearing turbans and carrying beautiful ceremonial daggers.
I explained my problem.
The leader listened patiently.
When I had finished, he nodded and told me to go back and read the notice again, very carefully.
Apparently, he was not the sort of 'Sikh Assistance' it meant.


Steve