It's that time of the year

[brightncheerful]

Mr and Mrs Ray
And their anonymous son, known to his friends as hoo.

Mr and Mrs Cant
And their daughter, Dee

--

And if you think September is too early for the shops to be selling Christmas decorations, just imagine what it would be like if they started in March when normally it's 9 months before a baby arrives.

[Mike4]

Mary: Joseph, before we set off did you remember to put the bins out?
Joseph: Yes Mary I remembered to put the bins out
Mary: Joseph did you remember to turn the gas off?
Joseph: Yes Mary, I remembered to turn the gas off
Mary: Joseph, did you remember to lock the back door?
Joseph: Yes Mary I remembered to lock the back door
Mary: Joseph, did remember to book the hotel?
Joseph: Mary, just get on the donkey, it will be fine...

[Itsallaguess]

‎
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honour of this holy season', Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The Irishman replied, 'These are Carols....'