Funeral provider Dignity nosedived after issuing a profits warning as it announced a 25% price cut in its simple funerals and a freeze on the cost of traditional ceremonies, blaming stiff competition.
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Loss of Dignity
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- Lemon Quarter
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Loss of Dignity
This extract from the ADVFN morning news bulletin made me chuckle:
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- Lemon Half
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Re: Loss of Dignity
Clitheroekid wrote:
Funeral provider Dignity nosedived after issuing a profits warning as it announced a 25% price cut in its simple funerals and a freeze on the cost of traditional ceremonies
A diers-market if ever there was one....
I'll get my coat......
Itsallaguess
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- Lemon Quarter
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- The full Lemon
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- 2 Lemon pips
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Re: Loss of Dignity
TUK020 wrote:... stiff competition
Yes, we did get that. But sadly their Stock Exchange RNS didn't actually use those words, though the press may have done so for comic effect.
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- Lemon Slice
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Re: Loss of Dignity
UncleEbenezer wrote:That's harsh on the poor buggers four-and-a-half feet under.
Hmm. Looks as though burials are going the same route as confectionery. I remember, not that long ago, that it was referred to as six feet under.
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Loss of Dignity
panamagold wrote:UncleEbenezer wrote:That's harsh on the poor buggers four-and-a-half feet under.
Hmm. Looks as though burials are going the same route as confectionery. I remember, not that long ago, that it was referred to as six feet under.
Yes, that's the joke: 4.5ft is 6ft with 25% off.
Mel
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- Lemon Slice
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Re: Loss of Dignity
melonfool wrote:
Yes, that's the joke: 4.5ft is 6ft with 25% off.
Mel
Ged outa here! Score one to mel for rumbling me 'springboarding' off UncleE's strapline.
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- Lemon Half
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Re: Loss of Dignity
Biggles wrote:TUK020 wrote:... stiff competition
Yes, we did get that. But sadly their Stock Exchange RNS didn't actually use those words, though the press may have done so for comic effect.
They're a funny lot in the press corps. It can get kinda tedious reporting on company developments, and the hacks sometimes resort to slipping in a few funnies just to see whether anyone's awake on the editor's desk.
I was once ribbing one of our local newspaper journos over a headline which read: "Inquest opens on dead woman". And he got a bit shirty with me. Yes, he'd written it, and he hadn't intended it as a joke. It had gone right through the system without anybody picking it up.
BJ
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- Lemon Slice
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Re: Loss of Dignity
Snorvey wrote:I think you've all lost the plot.
[sitting here doing that sharp intake of breath over teeth thing] I might have chanced my arm...but heh, come on? [/sitting here doing that sharp intake of breath over teeth thing]
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- Lemon Half
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Re: Loss of Dignity
I think a recent board-meeting might have found some eco-friendly cost-cutting processes -
https://i.redd.it/gyckvv3255b01.jpg
Itsallaguess
https://i.redd.it/gyckvv3255b01.jpg
Itsallaguess
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Loss of Dignity
Itsallaguess wrote:I think a recent board-meeting might have found some eco-friendly cost-cutting processes -
https://i.redd.it/gyckvv3255b01.jpg
Itsallaguess
Where's the rec button on this board?
Julian F. G. W.
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Loss of Dignity
Re https://i.redd.it/gyckvv3255b01.jpg
The hearse has clearly just come from a Green Burial. The chipper being towed is really black; the orange/red stain smells unpleasant in warm weather but will easily wash off.
The hearse has clearly just come from a Green Burial. The chipper being towed is really black; the orange/red stain smells unpleasant in warm weather but will easily wash off.
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