Loss of Dignity

[Clitheroekid]

This extract from the ADVFN morning news bulletin made me chuckle:

Funeral provider Dignity nosedived after issuing a profits warning as it announced a 25% price cut in its simple funerals and a freeze on the cost of traditional ceremonies, blaming stiff competition.

[Itsallaguess]

Funeral provider Dignity nosedived after issuing a profits warning as it announced a 25% price cut in its simple funerals and a freeze on the cost of traditional ceremonies

A diers-market if ever there was one....

I'll get my coat......

Itsallaguess

[TUK020]

... stiff competition

[stewamax]

Coffins 25% shorter?

[UncleEbenezer]

That's harsh on the poor buggers four-and-a-half feet under.

[Biggles]

... stiff competition

Yes, we did get that. But sadly their Stock Exchange RNS didn't actually use those words, though the press may have done so for comic effect.

[panamagold]

That's harsh on the poor buggers four-and-a-half feet under.

Hmm. Looks as though burials are going the same route as confectionery. I remember, not that long ago, that it was referred to as six feet under.

[melonfool]

That's harsh on the poor buggers four-and-a-half feet under.

Hmm. Looks as though burials are going the same route as confectionery. I remember, not that long ago, that it was referred to as six feet under.

Yes, that's the joke: 4.5ft is 6ft with 25% off.

Mel

[panamagold]

Yes, that's the joke: 4.5ft is 6ft with 25% off.

Mel

Ged outa here! Score one to mel for rumbling me 'springboarding' off UncleE's strapline.

[bungeejumper]

... stiff competition

Yes, we did get that. But sadly their Stock Exchange RNS didn't actually use those words, though the press may have done so for comic effect.

They're a funny lot in the press corps. It can get kinda tedious reporting on company developments, and the hacks sometimes resort to slipping in a few funnies just to see whether anyone's awake on the editor's desk.

I was once ribbing one of our local newspaper journos over a headline which read: "Inquest opens on dead woman". And he got a bit shirty with me. Yes, he'd written it, and he hadn't intended it as a joke. It had gone right through the system without anybody picking it up.

BJ

[panamagold]

I think you've all lost the plot.

[sitting here doing that sharp intake of breath over teeth thing] I might have chanced my arm...but heh, come on? [/sitting here doing that sharp intake of breath over teeth thing]

[Itsallaguess]

I think a recent board-meeting might have found some eco-friendly cost-cutting processes -

https://i.redd.it/gyckvv3255b01.jpg



Itsallaguess

[jfgw]

I think a recent board-meeting might have found some eco-friendly cost-cutting processes -

https://i.redd.it/gyckvv3255b01.jpg



Itsallaguess

Where's the rec button on this board?

Julian F. G. W.

[stewamax]

Re https://i.redd.it/gyckvv3255b01.jpg
The hearse has clearly just come from a Green Burial. The chipper being towed is really black; the orange/red stain smells unpleasant in warm weather but will easily wash off.