The Lemon Fool

I received the following email from my son's school today. I know this will have been written by a member of support staff and not a teacher, but really? Surely someone who is responsible for official communications from an educational establishment should have a good grasp of the English language? I don't know where to start, it's an abomination...

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Dear Parent / Carers

Kings Coronation Menu

For tomorrow only, Thursday 4th May, our canteen are cooking a fantastic Coronation Menu for our Students

Students can select from - Coronation Chicken ciabatta (served hot or cold), Royal Sausage Rolls, Soverign Cheese & Onion Royal Roll, Kings Quiche, BBQ Style Burger Stacks, BBQ Chicken Wings, Jumbo BBQ Style Hot Dogs (with all the trimmings) served with wedges and salad, Triumphant Strawberries & Cream Jelly & Build Your Own Scones.

We hope that everyone will enjoy this fantastic menu!

Yours faithfully

OK I counted just 5 errors. I feel sure there are more; I never was much of a pedant myself.

My wife works in a primary school where the head used to regularly send out emails to parents stuffed with spelling and grammar errors.

Midsmartin wrote:My wife works in a primary school where the head used to regularly send out emails to parents stuffed with spelling and grammar errors.

In my O-level year we had an English teacher whose grammar and spelling were atrocious.

I particularly remember one spelling test she administered. No fewer than three times, I challenged her answers. Each time involved a long and silly argument, after which she finally looked it up and admitted she was wrong.

I also get 5. Anyone care to raise?

2 apostrophes, one full stop, one spelling error (Soverign) and "our canteen are".

"Parent / Carers"

Hyphen rather than colon (or nothing at all).

Are only the hot dogs served with wedges and salad?

Not keen on the final ampersand.

Parent / Carers

An odd mix of singular and plural.

The message was probably thrown together by the work placement girl, who could spell and punctuate better than the cook.

Which, in itself, would have been nothing new. The catering staff at our grammer skool were headed by a chain-smoking crone whose chalk-board menus were just about the only reason we ever went in there. Lamp shops, red carbage, and our favourite, nasti goreng. Especially with a delicious satan sauce. The face that launched a thousand chips, we used to call her.

BJ

Are "build your own scones" an attempt at something like the Good Friday Agreement?

As in, let them choose their own tribal identity: cream-on-first or jam-on-first equally welcome!

“The face that launched a thousand chips, we used to call her.” (BJ) I used to work with an arrogant, bossy school cook and often thought of her as ‘the targe of the bite brigade’.

oldapple wrote:“The face that launched a thousand chips, we used to call her.” (BJ)

So was BJ the face that lunched a thousand chips?

yorkshirelad1 wrote:I also get 5. Anyone care to raise?

2 apostrophes, one full stop, one spelling error (Soverign) and "our canteen are".

No capital S required for "our students"

yorkshirelad1 wrote:I also get 5. Anyone care to raise?

2 apostrophes, one full stop, one spelling error (Soverign) and "our canteen are".

No capital S required for "our students" and I find the final exclamation mark a trifle dubious.

The formal "Yours faithfully" isn't really in style with the tone of the message, and in fact it looks generally odd and rather old-fashioned in an email anyway. Can Calcarius tell us whether it went on to give the name of the sender, or "the team", or "the catering department", or was it just left anonymous?

BJ

bungeejumper wrote:The formal "Yours faithfully" isn't really in style with the tone of the message, and in fact it looks generally odd and rather old-fashioned in an email anyway. Can Calcarius tell us whether it went on to give the name of the sender, or "the team", or "the catering department", or was it just left anonymous?
BJ

It was signed, 'XXXXXX School & Sixth Form'. This is a perfect example of where a job can be replaced by AI and no one would notice, great for the employer as it saves a lot on staffing costs and the consumer receives a better quality of service. We selected this particular school because of its reputation, it was formerly a Grammar and has apparently consistent high standards.

Unfortunately these issues are not confined to the admin staff but have also arisen with the 'highly qualified and experienced' academic staff. Trouble is my boy is a smart [expletive deleted], he sucks up knowledge like a sponge when it's about history, geography or anything related to statistics. The detentions are endless, he' takes great delight in correcting a teacher when he believes they are wrong, unfortunately he tends to do this in front of the class and embarrasses the teacher. Only last week he got a detention stemming from the fact that his teacher refused to believe that Guyana is in South America and not Africa.

I've never been particularly proud of my academic achievements thinking that I was somehow inferior to others. But over the years I've met many a grammar, private or university educated person that make Harry Enfield's 'Tim nice but dim' look like Einstein. Maybe 10 years of BAOR education in the 70's wasn't so bad after all, apart from the cane of course...

Calcarius wrote:This is a perfect example of where a job can be replaced by AI and no one would notice, great for the employer as it saves a lot on staffing costs and the consumer receives a better quality of service...

People would (hopefully) notice the better grasp of written English, but it wouldn't replace anyone as someone has to give the AI the data, and the letter is pretty much 95% data....

I find the whole email superfluous. Why does the skool need to tell the parents about what the pupils are being fed anyway? Is it a type of virtue signalling? "Look how great we are, doing this menu" perhaps.

Mike4 wrote:I find the whole email superfluous. Why does the skool need to tell the parents about what the pupils are being fed anyway? Is it a type of virtue signalling? "Look how great we are, doing this menu" perhaps.

Oooh, I don't know. Most schools these days have some kind of an online operation aimed at encouraging and informing parents about what they're doing, and generally trying to get parents involved in the extracurricular stuff that creates a bit of community spirit. I suppose it's better than the alternative.

It does also serve a virtue-signalling purpose, of course. It's a good place to brag about the Ofsted report, or the school football team, or the Christmas concert, or the tree planting on what little remains of the school playing field since they sold it off for a housing development. The hazard is that every grammatical error or typo in the newsletter comes with minus points because it dents the ejucayshunal image of the institititushion. Dusnit?

BJ

bungeejumper wrote:

Mike4 wrote:I find the whole email superfluous. Why does the skool need to tell the parents about what the pupils are being fed anyway? Is it a type of virtue signalling? "Look how great we are, doing this menu" perhaps.

Oooh, I don't know. Most schools these days have some kind of an online operation aimed at encouraging and informing parents about what they're doing, and generally trying to get parents involved in the extracurricular stuff that creates a bit of community spirit. I suppose it's better than the alternative.

It does also serve a virtue-signalling purpose, of course. It's a good place to brag about the Ofsted report, or the school football team, or the Christmas concert, or the tree planting on what little remains of the school playing field since they sold it off for a housing development. The hazard is that every grammatical error or typo in the newsletter comes with minus points because it dents the ejucayshunal image of the institititushion. Dusnit?

Isn't it all ultimately about fundraising? Used to be only private schools would hit up parents for "extras" but now it seems every school does that.

And how my old school tracked me down for its "alumni" fundraising effort, I will never know.

bungeejumper wrote:The formal "Yours faithfully" isn't really in style with the tone of the message, and in fact it looks generally odd and rather old-fashioned in an email anyway. Can Calcarius tell us whether it went on to give the name of the sender, or "the team", or "the catering department", or was it just left anonymous?

BJ

I think that is the correct way of ending such a message. It's a long time since I was instructed in the correct was to write letters. We had the "Command" letter which began with "I am commanded by Her Majesty's Secretary of State for Air" and ended with "I have the honour to be, Sir, your obedient servant". Then we had the "Direct" letter which started "I am directed by the Air Council" and ended similarly. Then was the "Official" Letter, beginning "Dear Sir", and concluding with "Yours faithfully". Finally came the "Demi-Official" letter, beginning with "Dear Mr .." and concluding with "Yours Sincerely". I might have first two the wrong way round.

As I see it this is the perfect example of the Official letter.

Finally we have the letter to the Editor, beginning "Sir," and concluding with "Yours, etc." often signed "Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells". For the benefit of the doubt, the male may be replaced by the female if appropriate.

I remain.

TJH