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Buying shoes
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- Lemon Half
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Buying shoes
Oh god, here we go again. My one and only pair of brown casual shoes is looking a bit tired, apparently, and the wife says I need a new pair toot sweet, or she won't be seen out with me in company again until I smarten up a bit. Apparently the cracks in the leather uppers are getting to be an embarrassment, and the lining is hanging out at the heel. Ferchrissakes, I've only had them for seven years, and I only wear them 80% of the time. Does nothing last any more?
Flashback to my last shoe shop visit. 17 year old salesman with sharp pointy black winklepickers comes up. "Hi guys," he says. Which is a bad start.
"There must be some mistake," I say, "I do appreciate that you have to be gender-neutral about these things, but my wife here has been personally certified by me to be female. Can we proceed on that basis?"
No comment from Mr shiny-shoes. "So what sort of style were you looking for, sir?". (Not "are", but "were". Hmmm, another bad omen, I think.)
"Oh, just another pair like these." And I pull up my trouser leg to show him my trusty footwear. He sniggers.
"Hush Puppies, sir? And (barely controlled hysterics) slip-ons? I think my granddad's got a pair like those, sir. No sir, I think you'll struggle to find a pair like those nowadays."
"Well that's all I want," I say. "Have you got any or haven't you?"
"These days we'd call them boat shoes, sir. With flat soles and heavy stitching. They appeal to gentlemen of a certain age, sir."
"Well I've always called them Cornish pasties, and they're not boat shoes, and they're not going on my bloody feet, no way. Not with those leather laces and the stupid porthole rivets in the sides. I do have some pride, you know."
"Try these, sir. Our Basingstoke Tara Docker collection is a new line, selling like hot cakes." Which, I reflect, may be because it's got TUFF embossed in large letters on the sides, instead of the usual FCK U or HUGE, or maybe some American basketball player's signature. But what do I know? I'm lost in a shoe shop, generationally adrift and drowning fast.
It goes on. What size do I take? How the hell do I know, I reply? I've got wide feet, so it might be anything between an eight and a half and an eleven if it's an Italian shoe. "Sorry sir, we don't do these in half sizes," he says, with some predictability. "We find it's only older customers who want those. Our younger ones just buy them tight and wait for the fabric sides to stretch out a bit." (FABRIC?)
....... So that was my last failed attempt to buy shoes. Jeezuz, and the wife I've got to do it again. There's nothing wrong with my shoes that any of my mates would notice, but the female of the species seems to have evolved in a different way. Here I go, then, off into sartorial no-mans-land with my credit card ready and my expectations low. I may be gone some time.
BJ
Flashback to my last shoe shop visit. 17 year old salesman with sharp pointy black winklepickers comes up. "Hi guys," he says. Which is a bad start.
"There must be some mistake," I say, "I do appreciate that you have to be gender-neutral about these things, but my wife here has been personally certified by me to be female. Can we proceed on that basis?"
No comment from Mr shiny-shoes. "So what sort of style were you looking for, sir?". (Not "are", but "were". Hmmm, another bad omen, I think.)
"Oh, just another pair like these." And I pull up my trouser leg to show him my trusty footwear. He sniggers.
"Hush Puppies, sir? And (barely controlled hysterics) slip-ons? I think my granddad's got a pair like those, sir. No sir, I think you'll struggle to find a pair like those nowadays."
"Well that's all I want," I say. "Have you got any or haven't you?"
"These days we'd call them boat shoes, sir. With flat soles and heavy stitching. They appeal to gentlemen of a certain age, sir."
"Well I've always called them Cornish pasties, and they're not boat shoes, and they're not going on my bloody feet, no way. Not with those leather laces and the stupid porthole rivets in the sides. I do have some pride, you know."
"Try these, sir. Our Basingstoke Tara Docker collection is a new line, selling like hot cakes." Which, I reflect, may be because it's got TUFF embossed in large letters on the sides, instead of the usual FCK U or HUGE, or maybe some American basketball player's signature. But what do I know? I'm lost in a shoe shop, generationally adrift and drowning fast.
It goes on. What size do I take? How the hell do I know, I reply? I've got wide feet, so it might be anything between an eight and a half and an eleven if it's an Italian shoe. "Sorry sir, we don't do these in half sizes," he says, with some predictability. "We find it's only older customers who want those. Our younger ones just buy them tight and wait for the fabric sides to stretch out a bit." (FABRIC?)
....... So that was my last failed attempt to buy shoes. Jeezuz, and the wife I've got to do it again. There's nothing wrong with my shoes that any of my mates would notice, but the female of the species seems to have evolved in a different way. Here I go, then, off into sartorial no-mans-land with my credit card ready and my expectations low. I may be gone some time.
BJ
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Buying shoes
You have my sympathy BJ. They seem to employ a certain breed of cretin in shoe shops these days. I take a size 3 which makes it almost impossible to buy a pair of shoes - "why" you may ask or not as the case maybe. Because these days some idiot has decreed that the majority of ladies shoes start at size 4 and girls shoes finish at size 2. I can find shoes the correct size online but shoes are something I like to try on and examine not send off for in the vain hope that they'll be OK. It's got to the stage now that if I do find a pair size 3 that are comfortable I buy them irrespective of colour as I can always claim to be colour blind.
R6
R6
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Re: Buying shoes
BJ
Look at this positively. With age, the feet don't change in size, except for bunions etc. If you only wear one shoes, its very likely that as you age, you will develop various diseases (such as fungal foot & mails, bunions, corns etc.
So consider buying three pairs, which may last you 20 years, and wear different ones every day. Your fashion taste wont change much... My dermatologist told me recently it was important not to buy occlusive (i.e. sealed) design (they will have too humid atmosphere / fungi etc).
I personally like Hotter shoes. which seem to fit my 67 year old feet OK.
You could wait until you are really old. My 90 year old FIL had custom made shoes, costing £300, supplied free by the NHS (not means tested BTW). He died a few weeks later though. I never found out who made them though - would have been good to find out who does make them.
Look at this positively. With age, the feet don't change in size, except for bunions etc. If you only wear one shoes, its very likely that as you age, you will develop various diseases (such as fungal foot & mails, bunions, corns etc.
So consider buying three pairs, which may last you 20 years, and wear different ones every day. Your fashion taste wont change much... My dermatologist told me recently it was important not to buy occlusive (i.e. sealed) design (they will have too humid atmosphere / fungi etc).
I personally like Hotter shoes. which seem to fit my 67 year old feet OK.
You could wait until you are really old. My 90 year old FIL had custom made shoes, costing £300, supplied free by the NHS (not means tested BTW). He died a few weeks later though. I never found out who made them though - would have been good to find out who does make them.
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- Lemon Half
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Re: Buying shoes
Clarke's discount store in Slough.
Wander in, buy size 9 black Oxfords
Wander out
2 minutes max
Wander in, buy size 9 black Oxfords
Wander out
2 minutes max
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- Lemon Slice
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Re: Buying shoes
Hardgrafter wrote:So consider buying three pairs, which may last you 20 years, and wear different ones every day.
Blimey. An epiphany.
Slightly amended, buy a new pair of shoes, go "Cor Blimey, these are comfortable!", and then go back to the shop to buy another two in the forlorn hope they haven't sold out or the supplier has discontinued for a trendier version.
One snag. Weather. Go out in the fearful muck, one pair of shoes mucky. Next day the same. "Ooo, isn't the weather awful this week". Third pair looking worse for wear (literally). That's three pairs of shoes needing cleaning. How depressing.
Meatyfool..
PS: HG, I'm not stalking you, honest!
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Buying shoes
bungeejumper wrote:....... So that was my last failed attempt to buy shoes. Jeezuz, and the wife I've got to do it again. There's nothing wrong with my shoes that any of my mates would notice, but the female of the species seems to have evolved in a different way. Here I go, then, off into sartorial no-mans-land with my credit card ready and my expectations low. I may be gone some time.
Debenhams are advertising them in their sale, at the moment.
Not saying that they'll have what you want in stock, but worth a try
Slarti
Oh wrong board for helpful
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Buying shoes
AleisterCrowley wrote:Clarke's discount store in Slough.
Wander in, buy size 9 black Oxfords
Wander out
2 minutes max
Clark's desert boots size 8 1/2, buy online when needed and below £70.
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- Lemon Half
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Re: Buying shoes
Black Oxfords for work
Always Doc Martens for casual (or walking boots for outdoorsy stuff)
I don't do 'smart casual'...
Always Doc Martens for casual (or walking boots for outdoorsy stuff)
I don't do 'smart casual'...
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- Lemon Slice
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Re: Buying shoes
Rhyd6 wrote:You have my sympathy BJ. They seem to employ a certain breed of cretin in shoe shops these days.
R6
And most seem to have degrees in media studies or some such unmarketable degree.
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Buying shoes
BJ,
alternate suggestion:
go to a hiking/outdoors equipment shop, perhaps a Decathlon if you have one nearby.
Buy walking shoes.
2 benefits:
a) buying in a place where fit is seen as more important than fashion
b) most of the kit is sold as 'robust' and will last longer
tuk020
alternate suggestion:
go to a hiking/outdoors equipment shop, perhaps a Decathlon if you have one nearby.
Buy walking shoes.
2 benefits:
a) buying in a place where fit is seen as more important than fashion
b) most of the kit is sold as 'robust' and will last longer
tuk020
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- Lemon Half
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Re: Buying shoes
That's a lot of helpful suggestions. Shame on you. And there I was, trying so hard to be miserable.
Seriously, cheers for the thoughts. To tell the truth, I've already got some excellent Skechers desert boots for heavy outdoor duty - they're as good as walking boots, really - and a natty pair of black Italian lace-ups for business. But for messing around the house/shopping/working from home I have a definite preference for anything that doesn't involve laces, so that I can kick them on and off at short notice. (Possibly my favourite footwear of all is a truly ancient pair of Seibel leather clogs which I just keep by the back door. Much heavier and tougher than the company's current offerings. Long may they last.)
I did eventually manage to crack my shoe-buying problem. Went into the local Clarks (along with all the other places in town), and they had a reasonable style in the wrong colour (black), and the usual collection of crass dimwit assistants, who didn't even know that some of their merchandise was available in wide fittings. But at least I was able to check the size and fit. I then went home and ordered the shoes online from the manufacturers.
I still faintly resent the idea of paying £75 for a pair of pretty functional "good-enough" shoes, but hey ho, at least the job's done now, and the issue has been laid to rest for another seven years. Thanks for your help, and all power to your collective grumpy elbows.
BJ
Seriously, cheers for the thoughts. To tell the truth, I've already got some excellent Skechers desert boots for heavy outdoor duty - they're as good as walking boots, really - and a natty pair of black Italian lace-ups for business. But for messing around the house/shopping/working from home I have a definite preference for anything that doesn't involve laces, so that I can kick them on and off at short notice. (Possibly my favourite footwear of all is a truly ancient pair of Seibel leather clogs which I just keep by the back door. Much heavier and tougher than the company's current offerings. Long may they last.)
I did eventually manage to crack my shoe-buying problem. Went into the local Clarks (along with all the other places in town), and they had a reasonable style in the wrong colour (black), and the usual collection of crass dimwit assistants, who didn't even know that some of their merchandise was available in wide fittings. But at least I was able to check the size and fit. I then went home and ordered the shoes online from the manufacturers.
I still faintly resent the idea of paying £75 for a pair of pretty functional "good-enough" shoes, but hey ho, at least the job's done now, and the issue has been laid to rest for another seven years. Thanks for your help, and all power to your collective grumpy elbows.
BJ
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- The full Lemon
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Re: Buying shoes
bungeejumper wrote:That's a lot of helpful suggestions. Shame on you. And there I was, trying so hard to be miserable.
BJ
Just admit defeet and toe the line.
(Keens sandals most of the time).
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- Lemon Half
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Re: Buying shoes
UncleEbenezer wrote:Just admit defeet and toe the line.
(Keens sandals most of the time).
Boom boom. Did you used to be Basil Brush, by any chance?
You're a brave man to admit to wearing sandals. But, in a chilly March, much respect from me. With socks, or without?
BJ
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- Lemon Quarter
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Re: Buying shoes
I take a size 3 which makes it almost impossible to buy a pair of shoes
My wife has an identical problem. But she has discovered that "outlet" stores often have size 3 shoes - which presumably they have been unable to sell in their normal shops. Hence on our journeys between Scotland and Surrey the Hotter Outlet in Gretna gets visited. As well as stocking size 3, they are sold at knock down prices - and occasionally I have picked up a pair of size 8 for myself.
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- Lemon Half
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Re: Buying shoes
This is why charity shops exist. To sell dead men's shoes, and particularly dead men who spent the last year(s) of their life in a wheelchair and whose shoes never touched the ground.
True you may not find a pair right _now_ that
* aren't fit only for a scarecrow
* are the right size
* in a style that sir is content with
but constant trawling every week or two or so will eventtually unearth very nice shoes that have never been work in anger and probably cost about a tenner.
I now own
* black every day oxford caps, quasi doc marten stylee thick rubber soled
* black dress oxford caps, all leather
* actual black doc marten brogues, never previously worn (BNWT) (these actually cost £12 - blowing the budget there)
* black patent leather
* brown every day quasi doc marten soles
* cherry all leather brogues
* tan all leather brogues
* brown suede (£5 - bargain)
I'd rather like a pair of brown oxford caps, and black standard brogues but that would be rather OTT.
less than £77 for the lot.
didds
True you may not find a pair right _now_ that
* aren't fit only for a scarecrow
* are the right size
* in a style that sir is content with
but constant trawling every week or two or so will eventtually unearth very nice shoes that have never been work in anger and probably cost about a tenner.
I now own
* black every day oxford caps, quasi doc marten stylee thick rubber soled
* black dress oxford caps, all leather
* actual black doc marten brogues, never previously worn (BNWT) (these actually cost £12 - blowing the budget there)
* black patent leather
* brown every day quasi doc marten soles
* cherry all leather brogues
* tan all leather brogues
* brown suede (£5 - bargain)
I'd rather like a pair of brown oxford caps, and black standard brogues but that would be rather OTT.
less than £77 for the lot.
didds
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- Lemon Half
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Re: Buying shoes
Always go to charity shops in posh areas - better stock.
I have loads of good stuff from Windsor, but not Slough
I have loads of good stuff from Windsor, but not Slough
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Re: Buying shoes
Very sorry, but I draw the line at wearing dead men's shoes!
Sometime in the 1990s I found that Loakes represented an optimum trade-off between cost and utility/quality (IMHO). I know the models I like so it is a 10 minute job on Ebay to search for the model, last and size I want and then they appear by post. I live near Lincoln and Lincoln market has a cobbler who is very skilled, efficient (and cheap) when it comes to repairs (I think I have some that have been heeled and soled three times).
On the odd occasion when I have bought (Loake) shoes in a shop I go to a couple of shops in central York (no 17 year old salesmen in sight). My wife also likes the McArthurGlen York Designer Outlet park for her shoe buying needs.
Sometime in the 1990s I found that Loakes represented an optimum trade-off between cost and utility/quality (IMHO). I know the models I like so it is a 10 minute job on Ebay to search for the model, last and size I want and then they appear by post. I live near Lincoln and Lincoln market has a cobbler who is very skilled, efficient (and cheap) when it comes to repairs (I think I have some that have been heeled and soled three times).
On the odd occasion when I have bought (Loake) shoes in a shop I go to a couple of shops in central York (no 17 year old salesmen in sight). My wife also likes the McArthurGlen York Designer Outlet park for her shoe buying needs.
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- Lemon Half
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Re: Buying shoes
Sobraon wrote:Very sorry, but I draw the line at wearing dead men's shoes!
I'm with you there, bro. My old dad asked me once to cut his toenails. I now know what lurks under some people's socks, and why chiropodists are able to charge such a lot of money. The very association of ideas is enough to put me off ever wearing anybody else's shoes.
BJ
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Re: Buying shoes
I am glad you finally managed to find a suitably stylish pair of shoes, BJ. But I have to say, most of your struggles were down to a schoolboy error: next time, don't bother asking the "assistant" for help - their job title is an obvious misnomer. Like Sobraon I usually order online but whenever I am forced to enter an actual shoe-shop (e.g. for my daughter who bizarrely insists on trying the things on) I find there is an inverse relationship between how involved the "assistant" is in "helping" and how well the shoes actually fit.
Most of them would swear black was white if it persuaded you into a sale. Gagarin's Law: "Never ascribe to incompetence that which can be better explained by malevolence."
With all due respect,
LadyG
Most of them would swear black was white if it persuaded you into a sale. Gagarin's Law: "Never ascribe to incompetence that which can be better explained by malevolence."
With all due respect,
LadyG
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- Lemon Half
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Re: Buying shoes
LadyGagarin wrote:I am glad you finally managed to find a suitably stylish pair of shoes, BJ. But I have to say, most of your struggles were down to a schoolboy error: next time, don't bother asking the "assistant" for help - their job title is an obvious misnomer. Like Sobraon I usually order online but whenever I am forced to enter an actual shoe-shop (e.g. for my daughter who bizarrely insists on trying the things on) I find there is an inverse relationship between how involved the "assistant" is in "helping" and how well the shoes actually fit.
Sound advice, I'm sure. Alas, I have feet like a pair of shovels, and only an in-shop tryout will tell me whether I'm wasting my time with any given style. My snazzy Italian shoes involved going up two and half sizes, which would be the same size I'd choose for a pair of wellies. Whereas a pair of wide fit Clarks seemed fine as an eight and a half. I wouldn't have stood much chance of getting to the right size by guesswork.
You are absolutely right about the shop assistants, of course. The only sane approach is to sideline the idiots as fast as possible, apart from barking orders at them to fetch and carry from the back room at my command. I'm too much of a nice person to enjoy being that bossy, but it's necessary sometimes......
BJ
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