Had to go into the local county hospital yesterday for a routine check, and they needed a blood test. So I traipsed upstairs to the phlebotomy department, and due course they called me into the treatment room. So far, so good. Unusually, there seemed to be two nurses attending to me rather than just one, but fair enough. I have blood tests done twice a year, so I know the procedure pretty well. Just roll up your sleeve, look at the wall and let them get on with it.
So the younger of the two nurses got started on my left arm and told me she couldn't find a pulse. "That's funny," I said, "I'm sure I was alive when I came in." No response to my attempted funny. "Tighten up the armband," said the other one, "and the vein will stick out." First nurse has a go, sticks the needle in, and it hurts, which it doesn't normally do. "No, she says at length, "I'm still not finding it." Tries again. Still no vein.
"Try the other arm, then," says the older nurse. So we reverse the procedure and the needle goes in again. "Still no vein," says the junior. "You're going in too deep," says the senior. Then suddenly JEEZUS! THE PAIN!
"You've gone through into the nerve," says the senior. "Try the other arm again."
Back to the first arm, the needle goes in for the fourth time. Suddenly, "DON'T STAND SO CLOSE TO THE CURTAIN!" yells the senior. Then, more quietly: "If somebody on the other side of the curtain bumps into you, you'll bend the needle in his arm."
Oh great. Why do I have to get the trainee on her first morning? Couldn't they have given her a lump of plasticine to practice on? Job done eventually, but they've told me to keep the bandage on for two days. Bandage? I shudder to think what's under there.....
BJ