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Listening

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brightncheerful
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Listening

#200834

Postby brightncheerful » February 12th, 2019, 1:53 pm

In my op on DAK re eye test, I said "
go to Mrs Bnc's opticians to get new lens fitted to my existing frame


Big mistake if i were to. The optician ignored Mrs BnC's polite request he should please not alter/adjust the left hand arm (temple?) of the frame of her glasses when he was fitting the new lens. He then proceeded to replicate what he'd done with her other 3 frames. Mrs Bnc thought the glasses were comfortable but after getting home and trying them out by wearing each for a few hours she got a pain around her ear. Stupidly, she continued for the two (reading and distance) for a few days until finally unable to withstand the agony we went to a local opticians who (kindly, ie free of charge) adjusted all 4 frames. Now they're all comfortable. Except that the pain hasn't eased yet. According to Mrs Bnc's chiropractor, the area around her ear bone? (my description) is inflamed. To recover, Mrs Bnc is now not wearing her glasses. which means no reading, no watching TV - both necessary ways of passing the time as during her recuperation from her major operation some 15 weeks ago.

And all because the optician wouldn't listen but went ahead regardless.

This is not the first time that Mrs Bnc's health has suffered at the hands of people that don't take any notice of what she is saying. For example, her doctor messed up her arm whilst taking a blood test and then anew months later having offered to use her other arm for a second test messed that arm up too. And only because of where the arm was positioned which Mrs Bnc had said was wrong. A new receptionist (woman) at the garage was disbelieving that Mrs Bnc's car had a knocking sound when the garage couldn't find anything wrong. In the end, we identified the cause of the no sound when tested by the garage, yet noise when Mrs Bnc drove alone: weight distribution. The garage then fixed it, but no apology from the receptionist.

I listen. I learnt how and taught myself to listen when I used to offer counselling. Listening as I discovered is not about waiting for the other person to stop talking so as to resume where one left off. but taking in what the person is saying and allowing the direction of the conversation to go off track as necessary. A straightforward question doesn't necessarily result in a straightforward answer. At least, it would if the straightforward answer doesn't require any further explanation.

Amongst professionals, such as an opticians or doctors, there seems to be a tendency to treat the patient as ignorant of what the patient considers the best treatment. All well and good if the patient doesn't know for certain, but not if they do. It's not the first time that Mrs Bnc has been to an opticians but it was the first time an optician has ignore her request. As for the doctors, there are only two NHS surgeries in our town: Mrs Bnc had her fill of the first's attitude, talking to Mrs Bnc like she's elderly and past it. She changed (I follow) to the other surgery, only to be spoken to like she's elderly and past it. In connection with her operation in hospital, the surgery wrote her a letter but much of the content wasn't applicable to what Mrs Bnc was having done and had Mrs Bnc not had presence of mind she might've been petrified by what she read. The hospital was most apologetic.

I have come up with a solution for Mrs Bnc to remember when dealing with people she doesn't know. Think of them as motor mechanics whose bread-and-butter work is on Ford, Vauxhaull, Nissan. etc. Turn up in a Rolls-Royce or Bentley and expect a commensurate standard of treatment and one is likely to be disappointed. One is expected to make allowances for attitudes at the lower levels of society, not vice.versa. Snag is that even at the higher levels one can encounter attitudes that are misplaced.

I often wonder what Mrs Bnc is doing to deserve having her requests ignored, especially by people whose services she is paying for. Her first name (xxxx) is just four letters long but most people, including my late father and my sister, have difficulty remembering it, let alone pronounce it correctly. I know that many women consider themselves 'invisible' when amongst men but surely in this day and age it is not beyond the bounds of reason for people generally to take time to listen to what is actually said, and not jump to conclusions that they know better.

nimnarb
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Re: Listening

#201999

Postby nimnarb » February 18th, 2019, 2:43 am

Understand where you are coming from BNC. My wife has had a life full of it and now refuses to see anyone. If only they had listened many years ago. But her confidence is now damaged beyond repair.

Dod101
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Re: Listening

#202005

Postby Dod101 » February 18th, 2019, 7:13 am

It sounds as if Mrs BnC needs a lesson in assertiveness. Maybe a bit late now (I have no idea how old she is) but as I have got older I have come to realise that there are a lot of people in generally poorly paid jobs who simply are not interested in their job and seem to think that they know better than the customer. There are of course many ways to approach this problem and one is to get bolshy and do not leave until the matter is sorted. The other is not to atagonise the only person who can help you. This is generally the approach my late wife took and it usually worked a treat. You take an interest in them and get them on your side so that they think it the most natural thing in the world to help you.

On the particular point of glasses frames, I have to say that Mrs BnC should surely have reacted much faster than she did. It is not exactly rocket science to get frames to fit comfortably. I have worn glasses for well over 50 years and think I know quite a lot about that subject. In fact quite shortly I will set off to see my optician as one leg of the frames for my reading glasses has fallen off and I need to get it fixed. I have an excellent privately owned optician who will probably fix the problem within 24 hours at most even if I need to get new frames.

I wish Mrs BnC well.

Dod

brightncheerful
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Re: Listening

#202022

Postby brightncheerful » February 18th, 2019, 9:37 am

… as I have got older I have come to realise that there are a lot of people in generally poorly paid jobs who simply are not interested in their job and seem to think that they know better than the customer. There are of course many ways to approach this problem and one is to get bolshy and do not leave until the matter is sorted. The other is not to atagonise the only person who can help you. This is generally the approach my late wife took and it usually worked a treat. You take an interest in them and get them on your side so that they think it the most natural thing in the world to help you.


I'll pass that onto her, thx.

It is said that only 50% of employees want to work for the business, the other 50% just want a job.

On the particular point of glasses frames, I have to say that Mrs BnC should surely have reacted much faster than she did.
. She knows she should've that but she's not well (still recovering from a major op) and would not have gone to this opticians had she been more herself. Also she didn't discus with me before rushing in: I would have suggested stay with the opticians she'd used for years. Not perfect but at least never messed up on the frames.


I wish Mrs BnC well.
Thank you.

Dod101
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Re: Listening

#202079

Postby Dod101 » February 18th, 2019, 12:42 pm

I appreciate that |Mrs BnC has got her health problems. You have mentioned this before and I am sorry about that and wish her well. Just to follow up on my earlier comment about my broken frame leg. I have just been the 17 or so miles to visit my optician and true to norm, they said to leave the frame with them and they would see what they could do. My mobile went about an hour later whilst I was shopping and they said they had fixed it. I went back to the optician to collect the now repaired frame. They made sure they fitted me and job done. 'No charge, sir, you are our customer'.

If you can find an optician like that you need to keep them.

Dod

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Re: Listening

#202247

Postby bungeejumper » February 19th, 2019, 9:13 am

Dod101 wrote:Just to follow up on my earlier comment about my broken frame leg. I have just been the 17 or so miles to visit my optician and true to norm, they said to leave the frame with them and they would see what they could do. My mobile went about an hour later whilst I was shopping and they said they had fixed it. I went back to the optician to collect the now repaired frame. They made sure they fitted me and job done. 'No charge, sir, you are our customer'.

If you can find an optician like that you need to keep them.

Sounds very similar to the experience I had last year at our local Specsavers when the hinge broke on my glasses. I had hardly got back home when the phone went to tell me that the specs were ready to collect. Again, no charge. Quality and customer service is where you find it - although admittedly, you've got a rather better argument for expecting it when you're paying top dollar.

I am glad of my listening ears. My glasses wouldn't be much use without them. ;)

BJ


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